Would you forgive...

aliwnec10 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:01 AM

Would you forgive...

your sister if she said that she isn't coming to the RD, nor is she staying for your reception?

Her excuse... she has a 7 & 8 year old daughters (my nieces) who will be tired and it will be too much for them. And getting a babysitter... well the babysitter wouldn't be able to handle them. So after the ceremony, her, my BIL and my 2 nieces are going home.

I can't believe she's doing this to me. Well to some extent i can because this is who she is. Well after this wedding... we are done as sisters.

(Sorry... i needed to vent)

irishsweetheart Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:05 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

Sorry if this fuel's your fire but NO I would not forgive her! My cousin will be attending my wedding with her two children who will be 6 and 8 at the time and she already told me she doesn't plan on leaving early either (my reception goes until 1 am)

Honestly IMO she has NO EXCUSE for not attending either of those functions and you have EVERY RIGHT to be pissed!

I have a sister too and if she pulled something like that it would not be soon forgotten!

kimnsteve Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:06 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

is she in your bidal party?
i'm sorry i would be sooo hurt
that i so not right
a 6 & 8 yr old should be able to behave themselves at family functions!

reenielady Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:07 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

That is horrible. THere is no excuse for a sibling not to attend a wedding. Why can't she go to the reception for a little while and if her children are that out of control leave early. If they are that bad why doesn't the husband stay home with them. THe whole family shouldn't have to go home.

I'm sorry to hear your sister is treating you this way

aliwnec10 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:10 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

Posted by reenielady

That is horrible. THere is no excuse for a sibling not to attend a wedding. Why can't she go to the reception for a little while and if her children are that out of control leave early. If they are that bad why doesn't the husband stay home with them. THe whole family shouldn't have to go home.

I'm sorry to hear your sister is treating you this way

the thing is... my nieces aren't out of control kids. She just thinks they are. I mean the woman yells at her kids for sitting incorrectly on the couch! My nieces are normal kids... my sister just won't let them be kids.

sr081906 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:16 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

What kind of kids are they that a babysitter can't handle?????

soontobmrsn Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:17 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

so sorry you are going through this
I would not be OK with that at all

Valor06 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:19 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

Wow. Is there in underlying issue. Did she have a nice wedding too? I know some people can never be understood but her behavior is so strange.

rojerono Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:20 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

I don't know...

If she doesn't want to come to the reception, I would be hurt. But I wouldn't write her off. I would kind of feel like... well I guess that it is your loss! She will be missing a fabulous time at a BEAUTIFUL wedding. She will likely regret it in the long run.

OrangeGrl Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:20 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

I get mad if my sister doesn't want to look at bridal mags with me. I can't believe she is doing this to you. Shame on her! You sound like the kind of person who would never do that to her!

JandJ1224 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:21 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

By your post it seems like you would expect this of your sister. Even though it really ***** that she would do that to you, be happy and celebrate with the people who love you and want to be there!!! You can't choose your family...

AMGBride2008 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:24 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

Just let it roll off your back. From another incident that happened on these boards a few months back, we all got a taste of how your sister can be and truthfully, breath a sigh of relief knowing that your day will most definitely be drama free without her there.
I would be upset though that my nieces were being dragged away, but just make sure they get in some of the pictures that way you'll have the memory of them being able to be included in some small way in your wedding.

aliwnec10 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:25 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

Posted by rojerono

I don't know...

If she doesn't want to come to the reception, I would be hurt. But I wouldn't write her off. I would kind of feel like... well I guess that it is your loss! She will be missing a fabulous time at a BEAUTIFUL wedding. She will likely regret it in the long run.

Yes and thats what most people say until they actually get to know her. My coworkers (who is also my FSIL and my friends) are shocked at what she's doing. They also thought i was exaggerating when it came to her, until they saw the emails back and forth. Now they get it.

My whole relationship with her has been hard. She's a very difficult person. No one else in my family talks to her because she makes it impossible and they've had enough. I always stuck up for her and understood her to a point. But now i'm done! Like others have said... there is NO EXCUSE for her not to be there. NONE. that is not forgiveable. She already missed my college graduation because she was mad at me and now she's going to miss another HUGE chapter in my life because why... she's being selfish and is self absorbed?

Sorry... i'd rather not surround myself with people like that. I'm tired of being stepped on.

tracy2246 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:29 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

I would not..My FSIL has decided it is an inconvenience (her words) to come into NY for the wedding and it is killing FI. will never speak to her again and I am sure he will not either. Sorry to say but that is a selfish person who is only interested in herself. There are babysitters, etc. If she (or even FSIL )wanted to attend they would make every effort to do so.

I feel your pain though and I am sorry you have to deal with this.

cherilicious16 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:33 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

sorry if this is blunt....but, in my opinion, what she is doing is selfish and wrong

gonzo23456 Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:37 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

In all honesty 'NO.' I would harbor resentment. I have three sisters all with children who are coming to the reception. Two are flying from out of town. The other sister will have a 3 month old by the time of my wedding. You only get married once! It's not like the children are extreamly young. By 7 or 8, a babysitter should be able to come. I feel there has to be more to the story (on your sisters side).

roxyspark Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:38 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

Posted by cherilicious16

sorry if this is blunt....but, in my opinion, what she is doing is selfish and wrong

I agree, I would be very upset if my sister didn't come to my wedding.

This sounds like very strange behavior, maybe your sister has some issues (depression, fear of crowds), that is preventing her from going.

I cannot understand why she wouldn't be there.

Soon2BeMrs Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:41 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

I would NOT forgive her! 6 & 8 are old enough its not like they are babys....kids can entertain themselves sure they will have a great time with the other kids. I dont blame you for wanting nothing to do with her after the wedding. Sorry you have to deal with this though

ChrissynRicky Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:50 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

I'm so sorry to hear about this. Your sister (IMHO) is being unreasonable, and had this been an excuse where babies were involved, I might think differently, but her kids are 7 & 8 and honestly, that's a ridiculous reason.

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 26, 2006 09:50 AM

Re: Would you forgive...

I am so sorry that you even have to deal with this!

I would NOT forigve my sister for doing that to me - actually I wouldn't even forgive some of my close friends if they did that to me! but especially my sister!

My sister has attended weddings with my niece and nephew - when my niece was 6 and my nephew was 4 - and my nephew is autistic! she stays until after the cake cutting at least! they had a plan that if the kids got too cranky my BIL would take them home - but they ended up just falling asleep - we put two chairs together and they were fine for the night!

i really don't get it - has she not done ANYTHING for the entire 8 years there her children have been around?