Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

My FSIL got engaged about 6 mos. after we did (she is 19 and had been dating the guy a month when she gave him an ultimatum and he proposed). They since broke up, but not until after they held a large engagement party during which they received many expensive gifts and money. She is not giving back anything. She says a gift is a gift, regardless of whether the engagement is still on, but I kind of feel like she should at least offer it back (esp. when her grandmother--who does not have much money--gave them $500 to help pay for the wedding--she already spent the $ on something having nothing to do with the wedding). I know it shouldn't concern me, but I was wondering what everyone's feelings about this are...

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

that is kind of not cool...i knew someone whose engagement was broken off and she returned everything. yeah, a gift is a gift, but an engagement and wedding are different...they are for two people and when those two people are no longer together, i think the gifts should go back.

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

It was an 'engagement gift' so I think she should give it back. I had heard that you weren't even supposed to use anything that you got as engagement gifts until after your wedding (of which I haven't but b/c we don't need to, not b/c it's not what you're 'Supposed' to do). But I think she should at least make the offer.

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

I would say to give it back!!! especially if the party was not that long ago. I had a similar situtation in my family and everything was given back. If not, the next time she gets engaged everyone should remember that the only present she receives is a very nice and sincere 'congratulations'

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

they def. should. I know if I was one of the people that gave a gift or check I'd be mad. what do her parents say?

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

I've gotten gifts for people who broke off their engagment and received them back or a credit on my CC... It is the right thing to do.

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

Thanks for all the responses, I am glad I was not out of line to think she should give them back! Her parents do not pressure her to give them back at all, and actually have not even told the grandmother the engagement is off, though they broke up about a month ago. It just seems so wrong to me to take people's $ and keep it even though the engagement is off!

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

i personally would give them back.

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

I would definitely give them back. I wouldn't feel right keeping them.

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

I would give them back too!!!!

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

I absolutely think the gifts should be given back!!! Especially poor grandma's check!

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

i definitely think they should be given back. i went to a very elaborate engagement party with my FH and we gave a very nice gift, the engagement ended and we never got anything back. not even a mention of it. and we gave an easily returnable gift, not cash. i thought that was very wrong. i'm also wondering what was done with our gift. maybe it was returned for the $$$. i think that's even worse if it was returned because the engagement was broken and then they kept the money! anyway, it's not the point of us getting back the gift or money, i just think it was rude.

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

I think you should give the gifts back. My cousin called off her engagement and she sent everyone their gifts or $ back with a note explaining that the engagement was broke

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

the e-party gifts should go back...it's proper etiquette. In MY situation....I would not give my ring back because it belonged to my grandmother. I'm ont sure what PROPER etiquette is for a ring that was purchased though....

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

she should definatly give it back. people gave her presents to have for their lives together.plus, why would she want presents and money that would remind her of the relationship lost every time she used them.

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

I def. thing that the gifts should be returned!!

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

she should totally return the gifts!

Re: Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?

Should not even be a question....the gifts go back!!!!