Would you give back engagement gifts if engagement was off?
Original post by nov04LIbride
My FSIL got engaged about 6 mos. after we did (she is 19 and had been dating the guy a month when she gave him an ultimatum and he proposed). They since broke up, but not until after they held a large engagement party during which they received many expensive gifts and money. She is not giving back anything. She says a gift is a gift, regardless of whether the engagement is still on, but I kind of feel like she should at least offer it back (esp. when her grandmother--who does not have much money--gave them $500 to help pay for the wedding--she already spent the $ on something having nothing to do with the wedding). I know it shouldn't concern me, but I was wondering what everyone's feelings about this are...
lovergirl
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You should always return the gift if it was for something that no longer exists!!! No more engagement, no more gift! Seem logical, right?
jenny2penny
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OctBride05
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the gifts should definetly be given back
ThePrincessBride
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Absolutely no doubt, they go back. I would be enraged if they were my gifts and I did not get them back. It makes not only her look bad but her entire family as well as she is still young and her elders aren't coaching her on the proper thing to do. Maybe someone should also inform her that at some point in her life when her marriage is for keeps, people will think twice before giving her nice gifts. I think if she plans on keeping them it would also be in pooor taste to ever have another engagement party expecting gifts again. Traditionally an engagement party isn't held for getting gifts, it's supposed just be a celebration of the engagement giving the two families a chance to meet each other, if these families were nice enough to go out of their way and treat them so good that should be appreciated not expected and the gifts go back, with cards thanking everyone for their generousity.
WinterBride2005
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She should give it back. My cousin's first engagement was called off. She gave all the gifts back.
OSCARtheGROOM
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I would give the gifts back. Thats just night right!
nov2004bride
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I think she should give the gifts back!!
jill13bean
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Posted by LovelyL
posted by btrflygrl the e-party gifts should go back...it's proper etiquette. In MY situation....I would not give my ring back because it belonged to my grandmother. I'm ont sure what PROPER etiquette is for a ring that was purchased though....
NY state law says that the ring must be returned to the purchaser
