Would You Give up your HM

October Bliss Posted: Jun 20, 2006 06:51 PM

Would You Give up your HM

for a new job that paid 20K more than your current job?

Situation:

FH & I have a 14 day Med cruise w/ an extra 3 days in Rome planned. I am also taking off the entire month of October and part of November for the wedding and HM (all paid vacation).

A co-worker brought a classified ad to my attention today. The job is probably the only other type of law I would enjoy other than what I'm currently doing, and the starting salary is 20K more than what I earn now (with a max of 40K more). It requires commuting to NYC (something I've never done). FH thinks I should go for it and apply. I agree that applying can't hurt, but since I think ahead I wonder if I get an interview do I wear my e-ring, do I mention wedding, and if I was fortunate enough to get such a position is it worth giving up the HM since I can't forsee a new employer giving me an entire month off with only two months of actual employment.

So, would you give up the HM?

ewickens Posted: Jun 20, 2006 06:55 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Darlene - JMO, but I would apply for the job and if they called me on an interview, I wouldn't even bring up the wedding yet. If they call you for a second interview, you know they like you and want you, at which point I would bring up what is currently happening and see what their reaction is. Maybe you could cut time out of the HM without eliminating the HM all together.

Happybride2005 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:04 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

i would apply for the job. of course u should wear your ring. don't bring up the hm unless they make u an offer. the trip was planned before this interview. most jobs will be ok with that

enjft Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:06 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by Happybride2005

i would apply for the job. of course u should wear your ring. don't bring up the hm unless they make u an offer. the trip was planned before this interview. most jobs will be ok with that

I agree.

SwissMiss06 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:17 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by enjft

Posted by Happybride2005

i would apply for the job. of course u should wear your ring. don't bring up the hm unless they make u an offer. the trip was planned before this interview. most jobs will be ok with that

I agree.

I concur! Wear your ring and if they ask about the wedding be honest. Don't mention the HM until they get into the numbers and then inform them that you have made these plans in advance....would you be willing to take the time without pay if necessary?

My first job on LI was like this...(I'm from Albany). I interviewed on a whim in early March and they wanted me to start ASAP but I needed to take a week off in early April before I could start. I was very upfront with them when I heard their offer came through and I still got the position....I just started later than they wanted....Good luck!!!

patticakes Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:22 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by ewickens

Darlene - JMO, but I would apply for the job and if they called me on an interview, I wouldn't even bring up the wedding yet. If they call you for a second interview, you know they like you and want you, at which point I would bring up what is currently happening and see what their reaction is. Maybe you could cut time out of the HM without eliminating the HM all together.

I completely agree. Well said. Go for it!!!!!

aliwnec10 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:27 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by SwissMiss06

Posted by enjft

Posted by Happybride2005

i would apply for the job. of course u should wear your ring. don't bring up the hm unless they make u an offer. the trip was planned before this interview. most jobs will be ok with that

I agree.

I concur! Wear your ring and if they ask about the wedding be honest. Don't mention the HM until they get into the numbers and then inform them that you have made these plans in advance....would you be willing to take the time without pay if necessary?

My first job on LI was like this...(I'm from Albany). I interviewed on a whim in early March and they wanted me to start ASAP but I needed to take a week off in early April before I could start. I was very upfront with them when I heard their offer came through and I still got the position....I just started later than they wanted....Good luck!!!

I agree. Go for the job, be completely honest if asked and see what happens. If they really want you, than talk about the honeymoon and the month off. You'd be surprised at how 'some' people can be. This person may not have a problem with it. Test it out first before you decide anything about cancelling your honeymoon! No sense in worrying about it if there isn't a problem yet.

snydl40 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:33 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Go apply-don't think about the HM now. See if you get it first. My friend got a job and they gave her a month off for her HM three months later.-She told them as soon as she knew she got the job. Good luck!

sr081906 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:34 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Apply for the job. See how the interviews goes. I would not mention the wedding or HM. If they offer you the job, you could negociate the HM and tell them about previous engagements and see if they can work with you. There is no need to mention anything until you know they are interested.

ETA: it's illigle to ask you about the wedding.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:37 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

You should definitely apply, and definitely wear your ring. I don't believe in that - if a company is not willing to give you a job because you wear an engagement ring, well then, IMO, they are not the kind of place I want to work for.
See what happens with the interview, don't even bring up the honeymoon. See how it goes, and if you are offered a position, then you can tell them the situation.

MrsH1156 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 07:51 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

I would definitely apply for the position. Go through the interview process and then bring up the wedding/HM only when you have to. There is no reason for you to bring it up to them until it's obvious you are going to get an offer. Go for it!

sarahthegreat Posted: Jun 20, 2006 08:22 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

yes, i wou;d give up my hm. as far as your situation, i say go for the new job. its a wedding that you have been planning for awhile now, not something you threw together last minute. i'm sure they understand.

suzybilly819 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 08:34 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

I don't practice in Labor Law, but isn't illegal to inquire about an applicant's marital status.... can't discriminate due to marital status , etc

Apply for the job and see what happens.....

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 08:48 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by Happybride2005

i would apply for the job. of course u should wear your ring. don't bring up the hm unless they make u an offer. the trip was planned before this interview. most jobs will be ok with that

yes, FH went through this last summer as our e-party was OOT and already planned...he just told them about it and said it was planned before the job search and they were fine.

Soon2bMrsERH Posted: Jun 20, 2006 09:16 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Maybe give up the HM you have planned and go on a shorter more simple honeymoon. Because your right, a new employer would not give you all those days off. And, I would deff. tell them about the wedding. If they don't hire you because of it...you prob. dont want to work for them anyway.

ncd623 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 10:03 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

I do not know where you live but you have to consider the cost of commuting too. My friend pays approx. $350 a month for the train and it also costs a lot more to eat meals in the city. And a really long commute. Not trying to be negative just want to point out a few things to consider.

ssdbk Posted: Jun 20, 2006 10:12 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

I would certainly apply and go on an interview. Ask a lot of questions so that you will really know if you would want the job. I'm not sure what to say about wearing the e-ring. As weird as it sounds, I would even consider taking the HM early, before the wedding. Why not?

JazzyT Posted: Jun 20, 2006 10:24 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by Happybride2005

i would apply for the job. of course u should wear your ring. don't bring up the hm unless they make u an offer. the trip was planned before this interview. most jobs will be ok with that

Agreed

beautyq115 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 10:33 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Go and apply....if it is meant to be it will happen...I would definetely give up my HM..and don't get into the wedding just yet with the prospective employer

Good Luck Darlene! Keep us updated!

kmkelly Posted: Jun 20, 2006 10:41 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Go for it, and wear your ring. Feel out the interviewer, and if you feel you should mention your wedding, do. If you get the job, they may be willing to give you the time off (without pay maybe) for your HM and you won't have to give up anything.