Would You Give up your HM

Original post by October Bliss

Jun 20, 2006 06:51 PM

for a new job that paid 20K more than your current job?

Situation:

FH & I have a 14 day Med cruise w/ an extra 3 days in Rome planned. I am also taking off the entire month of October and part of November for the wedding and HM (all paid vacation).

A co-worker brought a classified ad to my attention today. The job is probably the only other type of law I would enjoy other than what I'm currently doing, and the starting salary is 20K more than what I earn now (with a max of 40K more). It requires commuting to NYC (something I've never done). FH thinks I should go for it and apply. I agree that applying can't hurt, but since I think ahead I wonder if I get an interview do I wear my e-ring, do I mention wedding, and if I was fortunate enough to get such a position is it worth giving up the HM since I can't forsee a new employer giving me an entire month off with only two months of actual employment.

So, would you give up the HM?

sr081906 Posted: Jun 20, 2006 10:44 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by ncd623

I do not know where you live but you have to consider the cost of commuting too. My friend pays approx. $350 a month for the train and it also costs a lot more to eat meals in the city. And a really long commute. Not trying to be negative just want to point out a few things to consider.

That's a good point. Count about $5k in additional expenses that you would have to deduct from your new income. That would come in play in the salary negociation.

Caligirl Posted: Jun 20, 2006 10:47 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Apply Apply Apply...you never know... Dont jump to any conclusions until it is a sure thing.

soontobmrsn Posted: Jun 20, 2006 11:43 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

definitely apply
they can't ask you personal questions ie marriage, pregancy etc .......remember that!!!
and like someone else said if they offer it to you make it part of your negotiations..GOOD LUCK!!!

Goldi1021 Posted: Jun 21, 2006 08:02 AM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

I would definitely apply. I sometimes wrestle with the same thing but in terms of having children. I wonder if starting a new job when I am just about to start a family will impede my chances of a tenure track position but the law says otherwise. Many couples struggle in the beginning of a marriage. To have an extra 20K would certainly ease the financial stress that faces newlyweds. I think you can only wait and see what happens when you get the position.

SuzBride Posted: Jun 21, 2006 08:10 AM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

YES! And then I would go on a dream HM next year with all that extra money! Of course, the job would have to be a great fit and have other great benefits (extensive vacation, 401K) for me to give up my HM

Good luck!

angnick Posted: Jun 21, 2006 08:44 AM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by JazzyT

Posted by Happybride2005

i would apply for the job. of course u should wear your ring. don't bring up the hm unless they make u an offer. the trip was planned before this interview. most jobs will be ok with that

Agreed

Completely agree

TurboGirl Posted: Jun 21, 2006 09:03 AM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

IMO you should definitly apply for the job and then see how it goes from there. I totally agree with Happybride2005. Good luck with everything!

Blu-ize Posted: Jun 21, 2006 09:36 AM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

I think you are jumping the gun. You may not have to give up your HM. Go apply, see what it's about. Go straight ahead.

leighdvm Posted: Jun 21, 2006 10:02 AM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

I agree with the others, Darlene. You'd be surprised how many employers would be OK with you taking the time off, being that it is for a HM, which is a one-time deal. It's not like you'd be taking time off like that all the time.

Go for it! You HAVE to get out of where you are!!!!

kathrynlinton Posted: Jun 21, 2006 11:14 AM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Apply!! If they make you an offer, you should just tell them that you have a pre-planned vacation, it should be fine. When I started working here, it was the first week in May and we had a family vacation planned in July, I told them and it was fine!

And it is illegal to ask about the wedding or babies. They also may try to find out in other ways, even if it isn't a direct question. We just hired someone and my boss would tell the potential employee that we only insure the employee to find out if the person was married or had kids. Tricky tricky!

neener1211 Posted: Jun 21, 2006 11:17 AM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Apply for it, and wear your ring. They may see your ring as you making a lifelong committment, which also means that you would be committed to your job.

They might be a really awesome employer, and totally understand that you need to go on your honeymoon. I had a job once that I let them know I was going away for 2 weeks, and they were ok with it.

Good luck, and definitley apply for it!!

Soon2BeMrs2006 Posted: Jun 21, 2006 01:20 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by Happybride2005

i would apply for the job. of course u should wear your ring. don't bring up the hm unless they make u an offer. the trip was planned before this interview. most jobs will be ok with that

I agree. I know at my job, they would still hire you knowing that. We've had several people hired that were pregnant and went on maternity leave a couple of months after, one recently was hired few weeks ago had a trip planned and that was still fine.

I wouldnt bring it up at the first interview, if they offer you the position, bring it up then. good luck.

R&J0806 Posted: Jun 21, 2006 01:25 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

I'm in the exact same position as you and here's my take on it:

1. Sending your resume doesn't necessarily mean you'll get an interview (no offense.)
2. If you do get an interview, don't hide your e-ring, but don't mention that you're engaged unless it comes up.
3. If it doesn't come up and you are asked for a second interview, it is that second interview that you should mention it.
4. If the new place doesn't understand that you are about to undergo one of the most important events in your life, then that's not the right agency/firm for you.

JMO.

Smiles111 Posted: Jun 21, 2006 02:27 PM

Re: Would You Give up your HM

Posted by ewickens

Darlene - JMO, but I would apply for the job and if they called me on an interview, I wouldn't even bring up the wedding yet. If they call you for a second interview, you know they like you and want you, at which point I would bring up what is currently happening and see what their reaction is. Maybe you could cut time out of the HM without eliminating the HM all together.

totally.
at the worst, you might have to take some unpaid vacation, but with the extra $20K overall, no sweat!