would you 'insist' ...

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Posted by TheMrandMrsof2008

I would definately let him go. But..why wouldn't I be going??? Am I sick? Do I not like someone there? Am I on antibotics and can't drink? Why can't your friend go?

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by kittythestray
If he was invited to a wedding without me he would not go. I wouldn't have to say a word to him, that's just how he is. He would be mad that I wasn't invited. It wouldn't matter if it was his sister's wedding or a coworker, we're married now so it's just the way it is with us.

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so now i'm thinking i should have gave more details with the poll ... alright but if you just didnt get along with the couple and he did ... you think he still wouldnt go ...

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Posted by kittythestray

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by kittythestray
If he was invited to a wedding without me he would not go. I wouldn't have to say a word to him, that's just how he is. He would be mad that I wasn't invited. It wouldn't matter if it was his sister's wedding or a coworker, we're married now so it's just the way it is with us.

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so now i'm thinking i should have gave more details with the poll ... alright but if you just didnt get along with the couple and he did ... you think he still wouldnt go ...

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No, even if he got along really well with them and I didn't, and even if part of him WANTED to go, he just wouldn't because I wasn't invited. We're MARRIED. To both of us that means we're a package deal, you can't have one or the other of us. PERIOD. There’s really no discussion, it's just the way we both feel about marriage, it doesn't just mean we live together, it doesn't just mean we're monogamous, it means we're ONE now.

If we were BOTH invited and I didn't want to go that's a totally different scenario, if we were both invited and I just didn't want to go I would encourage him to go without me (but I know he wouldn't)... but I think you’re getting skewed results with your poll because your poll says ‘would you care if he went to a wedding without you’ and my answer to that is no, I wouldn’t care if he went somewhere without me… BUT

Here's the last if - IF he was invited and I was purposefully excluded, and he said 'I think I am going to go...' (which would just never happen, you'd have to know him...) but then to answer your poll, no, I would not ALLOW him. Yeah, that's right I said it... ALLOW. I'm sorry but we're married, I can't just go around doing whatever I want, and neither can he. We are not just individual people anymore, we're a unit and our actions affect each other. I'm not allowed to kiss other guys anymore. He's not allowed to go to a wedding I wasn't invited to. OK, extreme example, but I hope you see what I'm trying to say!

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Posted by blu6385
... but my friend said not matter what he couldnt go by him self ... so at least your saying if you just didnt want to go or couldnt go for whatever reason you would tell him to go ... thats what i was really trying to get at!!!

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by kittythestray

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by kittythestray
If he was invited to a wedding without me he would not go. I wouldn't have to say a word to him, that's just how he is. He would be mad that I wasn't invited. It wouldn't matter if it was his sister's wedding or a coworker, we're married now so it's just the way it is with us.

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so now i'm thinking i should have gave more details with the poll ... alright but if you just didnt get along with the couple and he did ... you think he still wouldnt go ...

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No, even if he got along really well with them and I didn't, and even if part of him WANTED to go, he just wouldn't because I wasn't invited. We're MARRIED. To both of us that means we're a package deal, you can't have one or the other of us. PERIOD. There’s really no discussion, it's just the way we both feel about marriage, it doesn't just mean we live together, it doesn't just mean we're monogamous, it means we're ONE now.

If we were BOTH invited and I didn't want to go that's a totally different scenario, if we were both invited and I just didn't want to go I would encourage him to go without me (but I know he wouldn't)... but I think you’re getting skewed results with your poll because your poll says ‘would you care if he went to a wedding without you’ and my answer to that is no, I wouldn’t care if he went somewhere without me… BUT

Here's the last if - IF he was invited and I was purposefully excluded, and he said 'I think I am going to go...' (which would just never happen, you'd have to know him...) but then to answer your poll, no, I would not ALLOW him. Yeah, that's right I said it... ALLOW. I'm sorry but we're married, I can't just go around doing whatever I want, and neither can he. We are not just individual people anymore, we're a unit and our actions affect each other. I'm not allowed to kiss other guys anymore. He's not allowed to go to a wedding I wasn't invited to. OK, extreme example, but I hope you see what I'm trying to say!

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i totally agree... we are a package deal. that just wouldnt fly and I think he would be PO'ed too

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by Snowflake08

honestly, if it was someone that he was friends with and i didnt like them, i wouldnt care if he went
however, if we are engaged and he was not invited with a guest, then i would prefer he didnt go

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well i am saying your married already and he was just invited not you ... you really rather him not go ... though he wanted to go...

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Posted by Snowflake08

if we were married already and he was invited ALONE that is unacceptable - we are a married couple

if we were each invited to separate wedding on the same day; but as couples, i'd have no prob. each of us going stag

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Posted by Lucky0510

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Posted by Snowflake08

if we were married already and he was invited ALONE that is unacceptable - we are a married couple

if we were each invited to separate wedding on the same day; but as couples, i'd have no prob. each of us going stag

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I agree! Not only is that extremely disrespectful to the wife but, you will probably offend FHs friend way more then you will offend his wife that you do not like. More then likely he will be the one to decide he isn't going to attend for that reason alone (not because she tells him no). You have to remember that although you do not like her... he loves her (thats why he married her) and putting him in a situation like that will just make him hostile towards you and your FH.

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Posted by TheMrandMrsof2008

If the couple does not like me...the FH would not be going..out of respect for me.

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Posted by Lucky0510

for some people ... if it's a boyfriend/girlfriend thats a completely different story. But, a husband and wife comes as a package deal IMO

In any case if my FH was ever invited to a wedding and I was not invited... he wouldn't go. I wouldn't have to tell him it's not allowed... it's called mutual respect. If the roles were reversed and one of my friends disrespected me by excluding my FH you can bet I wouldn't even send a card

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Posted by kzecha

First off, I do not 'allow' my FH to do anything. He is a big boy and can make his own decisions. If it is a trust issue,then maybe you should not be together. If you cant trust him to do things on his own, that is not healthy. JMO.

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Posted by Luvbsb4eva

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Posted by kzecha

First off, I do not 'allow' my FH to do anything. He is a big boy and can make his own decisions. If it is a trust issue,then maybe you should not be together. If you cant trust him to do things on his own, that is not healthy. JMO.

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Yeah I agree here... my FH is actually on spring break right now in Alcapulco with his friends, some people think it's weird that I'm ok with it, but I am... I trust him completely so it doesn't bother me at all!

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Posted by TheMrandMrsof2008

If the couple does not like me...the FH would not be going..out of respect for me.

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Posted by blu6385

ok so would you insist that your husband not attend a wedding with out you ... Ok i am having this 'argument' with one of my friends ... there really is a lot more to it but the poll would just not work ... so in general would you allow your husband to go to a wedding with out you?

ETA: ok 'allow' seems not to have been a good word ... so i switched it to say insist instead!!

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