My BM has been with her boyfriend for 7 years. He told her he doesn't want to get married, ever. He'll have the kids and live as a married couple, but will NEVER get married. Would you stay with your FH if he said that to you?
Hamptonsbride06
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Re: Would you stay with him?
i hate when men do that! it makes me feel like what hes really say is 'we can play house, but when something better comes along im out of here!' getting married is a big part of life, and if she wants to be married, then she should find someone who values marriage the way she does
hsacks23r
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i am sure he will give in after another 10 years :):)
Preshy7
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no. i want marriage and have dreamed about it my whole life. to give that up is crazy for me.
also to go and have kids with a person that could leave you at the drop of a hat is also not too smart -
if you REALLY love that person and want to be committed then the person should not be against marriage. if they are, then they are selfish and id be selfish in return, and leave them. jmho
Blu-ize
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If she really wants to get married she should cut her loses now. She really needs to find out what she wants in the relationship. Has he been married before?
ChrissynRicky
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My Opinion: If 'she' has to even ask herself or others whether or not she should stay with him - no.
itslaurie.
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Personally, I have no problem with this.
But if she is questioning it, then she does - and should reevaluate her priorities.
stephanief
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Hell no, his a$$ would be kicked to the curb. And I would have done it before spending 7 years with him....ugh, men !!!!
kellwolfe
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Posted by ChristineAE
My Opinion: If 'she' has to even ask herself or others whether or not she should stay with him - no.
I second that ....you already know what you want to do .......and 'he' isnt really looking to make 'her' happy so i say 'leave him'
Noiva06
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Marriage is important to me, so I would leave him because I want a family... It depends on how she feels about marriage, if it's something that is important to her, then she should try to move on....
nicothy
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NO NO NO WAY!!!!!!!! leave him ... thats not right at all.. he'll have kids and live a married life but don't put that ring on..... GO AWAY i would say... she should question him.. why not marriage...weird.....
july06bride
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Marriage is important to me, and I wouldnt want to LIVE as a married couple and have a family as a married couple without true solid committement, It's too easy to walk out otherwise and marriage means too much to me to not have it, i would cut my losses as someone else said and move on with my life
Beth1210
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Posted by ChristineAE
My Opinion: If 'she' has to even ask herself or others whether or not she should stay with him - no.
I couldn't agree more
esb980
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He;s never been married before. They started dating senior year of HS.
See, at first I was like I would dump him. But why? Marriage is just a piece of paper, a legal binding contract. I mean, to me, it's an very important piece of paper. But, if you KNOW you will be with this person forever, then married or not, that won't change. He could leave you if you were married/ I don't know. I, personally WOULD leave him, but I really don't know why. I mean, I would leave someone I'm in love with because he wouldn't walk down the aisle? When I think about it, it's strange.....
JessicaM.
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I look at it a little differently I guess. I never really expected to get married when I was young...I never really wanted to.
I am with my FH because I want to enjoy and spend my life with HIM...if he didn't want to get married, but was COMMITTED to being with me, I would stay.
a marriage certificate does not always equal a stronger committment to the relationship.
BUT, only this girl can feel out where this is coming from....is she a 'good enough for now deal' or is she 'the ONE for the long haul' and he just has issues with marriage itself...
Good luck to her.
ChrissynRicky
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Re: Would you stay with him?
Posted by esb980
He;s never been married before. They started dating senior year of HS.
See, at first I was like I would dump him. But why? Marriage is just a piece of paper, a legal binding contract. I mean, to me, it's an very important piece of paper. But, if you KNOW you will be with this person forever, then married or not, that won't change. He could leave you if you were married/ I don't know. I, personally WOULD leave him, but I really don't know why. I mean, I would leave someone I'm in love with because he wouldn't walk down the aisle? When I think about it, it's strange.....
Here's my opinion about this: She wants to get married, and he doesn't - are they on the same page 'emotionally?' I know that if I loved someone and I didn't believe in 'marriage' for whatever reason, I would marry that person b/c I know it's what they want. Yes, I would make that sacrifice.
Which leads me to say it looks like they're not on the same page and she might stay with him b/c she loves him but he doesn't love her the same way.
ie: It's like some women that stay with the men that beat them - they love them so much and stay with them for fear of not finding someone else....meanwhile the man walks around saying 'I love you.' UM....right.
cantwait2bewed
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Two Words
Hell Nah
esb980
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Posted by ChristineAE
Posted by esb980
He;s never been married before. They started dating senior year of HS.
See, at first I was like I would dump him. But why? Marriage is just a piece of paper, a legal binding contract. I mean, to me, it's an very important piece of paper. But, if you KNOW you will be with this person forever, then married or not, that won't change. He could leave you if you were married/ I don't know. I, personally WOULD leave him, but I really don't know why. I mean, I would leave someone I'm in love with because he wouldn't walk down the aisle? When I think about it, it's strange.....
Here's my opinion about this: She wants to get married, and he doesn't - are they on the same page 'emotionally?' I know that if I loved someone and I didn't believe in 'marriage' for whatever reason, I would marry that person b/c I know it's what they want. Yes, I would make that sacrifice.
Which leads me to say it looks like they're not on the same page and she might stay with him b/c she loves him but he doesn't love her the same way.
ie: It's like some women that stay with the men that beat them - they love them so much and stay with them for fear of not finding someone else....meanwhile the man walks around saying 'I love you.' UM....right.
Okay, I agree. That makes sense. BUT I think you both have to want to get married. If one of you is looking at marriage as a 'sacrifice' I don't think you'll make it. Some of my friends gave their husbands/ ex husbands an ultimatum, and it didn't work. Their either divorced or unhappy.
cindyandkevin
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I love the idea of marriage and I'm so glad that I found someone to enjoy it with!! I was once in a relationship with someone who didn't want to get married and it only lasted a year, I only stayed that long bc I thought he would change his mind. Then I realized that it was pointless to try and work out all of our little problems bc we still had that big one looming over us.
Your friend needs to think about what she wants. If she's ok with never getting married then that's fine, some girls feel that way. But it sounds like she does want to get married, so she knows what she needs to do. Seven years is a long time, but better to break up now then live your whole lifetime unhappy and wondering 'what if'.
Marriage isn't just about a piece of paper, it's about vowing yourselves to eachother and expressing and celebrating your love as 2 individuals become 1 united body.
Beth1210
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there are also legal advantages to being married- that's why Gay people are fighting for the right
you are protected from things under the law in case or death or divorce
you have much more entitlement- for ex. if the house you live in is in only one person name - and they die- if you are married - it's your house- if you are not- you might be kicked out
same goes for divorce - lets say you 'play house' for years- cooking, cleaning- giving up your career etc for the sake of childern and family- now he leaves you- you are pretty screwed- b/c you are not married it's hard to get the support you dessrve
