WWYD?

This morning my FH tells me that he wants to send an inivitation to his Dad's friend Oscar. Fine... this is how it went down

FH- 'I want to send it but I know he isn't coming'....

Me- 'I don't want to waste an invite on someone who we know won't come'

FH- 'Well he told me he won't come but will give a gift'

Me-'why wouldn't he come if he is going to give a gift'

FH-' he doesn't do those kinds of things'

Me-' those kinds of things?? a wedding is a 'kind of thing''

FH-'you know my Dad's friends'

ok a little back story. My FI's Dad is from Portugal this big wedding stuff is soooo not what he is used too. All of his friends are old world like that too. So it's weird but not shocking to me.

SO anyway... do we send an invite?

yeah I would just kind of out of respect for your FFIL wish. Also, ill gladly send one for a gift in return.

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Posted by GiannisWifey

yeah I would just kind of out of respect for your FFIL wish. Also, ill gladly send one for a gift in return.

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truthfully this is soooo not out of respect for FFIL... I called him the other day for his friends last names (those on the guest list) he doesn't know them. Getting addresses is going to be a nightmare. He also doesn't think he needs to wear a tux, meet FH the morning of where they will be getting ready. Or Ride on the limo bus with all the other parents, and BP

If his friend is anything like FFIL.. he probably would send you a gift assuming he knew you from somewhere!

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Posted by soontobecruz

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Posted by GiannisWifey

yeah I would just kind of out of respect for your FFIL wish. Also, ill gladly send one for a gift in return.

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truthfully this is soooo not out of respect for FFIL... I called him the other day for his friends last names (those on the guest list) he doesn't know them. Getting addresses is going to be a nightmare. He also doesn't think he needs to wear a tux, meet FH the morning of where they will be getting ready. Or Ride on the limo bus with all the other parents, and BP

If his friend is anything like FFIL.. he probably would send you a gift assuming he knew you from somewhere!

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IMO - this one isn't worth the battle and I'd send the invite. I know what you're saying, but just don't think its worth the aggravation.

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Posted by barbtony

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Posted by soontobecruz

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Posted by GiannisWifey

yeah I would just kind of out of respect for your FFIL wish. Also, ill gladly send one for a gift in return.

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truthfully this is soooo not out of respect for FFIL... I called him the other day for his friends last names (those on the guest list) he doesn't know them. Getting addresses is going to be a nightmare. He also doesn't think he needs to wear a tux, meet FH the morning of where they will be getting ready. Or Ride on the limo bus with all the other parents, and BP

If his friend is anything like FFIL.. he probably would send you a gift assuming he knew you from somewhere!

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IMO - this one isn't worth the battle and I'd send the invite. I know what you're saying, but just don't think its worth the aggravation.

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yea i guess you are all right. ok I'll send it

Yes, I would. We have a few people that FFIL says to invite but they won't come because they don't big parties and dancing; however, they will send a nice gift.

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Posted by GiannisWifey

yeah I would just kind of out of respect for your FFIL wish. Also, ill gladly send one for a gift in return.

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ita

in my opinion you should send the invite, receive the gift & send a thank you. at least you will be receiving a gift out of it.

i 'have to' invite someone out of respect for my late grandmother, who never, ever goes to anything. not only do i have to send her an invite but then after she sends us a $25 gift in an unrelated card, i also have to mail her a favor & thank you card. so if we add up the cost of the STD, shower invite, shower thank (for her empty card), shower favor, wedding invitation, wedding thank you & wedding favor plus postage for everything, it costs me more then her $25 gift.

Well thats why I feel weird. It'snot abou being un-courteous it is that we already know he is going to send a gift so now I feel like we are fishing for one.

I am not concerned about the cost of the invite and postage, it's me feeling like we just want a gift from this guy.

sometimes, depending on the person, i send a gift with no intention of going.

its nice to be invited. if you aren't stressing over numbers and it's sort of a given that he'll send a gift... certainly worth the cost of an invite.

the only way i can see it being a no is if you already ordered invites and you think you might run out.

i am in a similiar situation with allll of fhs family, including immediate family. none of them had big 'american' weddings, they all went to the justice of the peace basically and maybe a dinner, if at all. especially, his mom isnt into these things which has gotten some resentment from me but anyway im rambling now...send the invite, imo. if he doesnt come, thats okay and if he sends a gift, thats nice too. if he does come, that would a nice surprise for Matt.


also a piece of advice and just in general, i ordered 125 invites, because i thought we would be sending out like 100 or a little more because i kept doing rough estimates. well now i have like 30 invites left over even after i took out for all possible b invitees. i waisted extra money. so just do a really good count as if you're about to send them out and maybe youll see that youll have an extra invite anyway without ordering a whole lot more, kwim