WWYD?

Original post by soontobecruz

Jan 20, 2010 08:40 AM

This morning my FH tells me that he wants to send an inivitation to his Dad's friend Oscar. Fine... this is how it went down

FH- 'I want to send it but I know he isn't coming'....

Me- 'I don't want to waste an invite on someone who we know won't come'

FH- 'Well he told me he won't come but will give a gift'

Me-'why wouldn't he come if he is going to give a gift'

FH-' he doesn't do those kinds of things'

Me-' those kinds of things?? a wedding is a 'kind of thing''

FH-'you know my Dad's friends'

ok a little back story. My FI's Dad is from Portugal this big wedding stuff is soooo not what he is used too. All of his friends are old world like that too. So it's weird but not shocking to me.

SO anyway... do we send an invite?

pipermaru Posted: Jan 20, 2010 10:08 AM

Re: WWYD?

i would definitely send one

soontobecruz Posted: Jan 20, 2010 10:09 AM

Re: WWYD?

Posted by MrsSoto

i am in a similiar situation with allll of fhs family, including immediate family. none of them had big 'american' weddings, they all went to the justice of the peace basically and maybe a dinner, if at all. especially, his mom isnt into these things which has gotten some resentment from me but anyway im rambling now...send the invite, imo. if he doesnt come, thats okay and if he sends a gift, thats nice too. if he does come, that would a nice surprise for Matt.

also a piece of advice and just in general, i ordered 125 invites, because i thought we would be sending out like 100 or a little more because i kept doing rough estimates. well now i have like 30 invites left over even after i took out for all possible b invitees. i waisted extra money. so just do a really good count as if you're about to send them out and maybe youll see that youll have an extra invite anyway without ordering a whole lot more, kwim

I ordered 125 with a rough estimate list of invites needed at 110... ish.....

MikesBride2B Posted: Jan 20, 2010 10:12 AM

Re: WWYD?

Posted by soontobecruz

Well thats why I feel weird. It'snot abou being un-courteous it is that we already know he is going to send a gift so now I feel like we are fishing for one.

I am not concerned about the cost of the invite and postage, it's me feeling like we just want a gift from this guy.

I don't see it that way...he might forget to give a gift if you don't send the invite, and later on might remember and be upset that he wasn't able to give his gift.

As f-ed up as it sounds, my mom sometimes calls invitations 'bills'...if she can't go to something, she keeps the invitation as a reminder to 'pay the bill' and will get rid of it once she sends a check.

MrsSoto Posted: Jan 20, 2010 10:16 AM

Re: WWYD?

i totally see where you are coming from if noone is really close to this guy but Matt thinks hell send a gift, so you dont want to seem like you're fishing for one but at the same time, the guy probally doesnt realize that you guys know he isnt going to come so he wouldnt think of it like that. personally, I have gotten invitations where i didnt think i was going to be invited and i still didnt feel like they were fishing for a gift. I kinda just thought, a- that they had a good budget to be able to invite people who werent that close to them or b- i was a b lister, lol. i didnt feel an obligation to send a gift since i wasnt that close in the first place.

soontobecruz Posted: Jan 20, 2010 10:31 AM

Re: WWYD?

Posted by MikesBride2B

Posted by soontobecruz

Well thats why I feel weird. It'snot abou being un-courteous it is that we already know he is going to send a gift so now I feel like we are fishing for one.

I am not concerned about the cost of the invite and postage, it's me feeling like we just want a gift from this guy.

I don't see it that way...he might forget to give a gift if you don't send the invite, and later on might remember and be upset that he wasn't able to give his gift.

As f-ed up as it sounds, my mom sometimes calls invitations 'bills'...if she can't go to something, she keeps the invitation as a reminder to 'pay the bill' and will get rid of it once she sends a check.

yea I guess you are right