XOXO

May152005 Posted: Jun 28, 2004 12:48 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

CubanBride Posted: Jun 28, 2004 12:49 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

Posted by May152005
FH is very passive, he probably felt that it wasn't his place to say anything. I don't think it was an accident that I wasn't asked to be in the pictures, just because their family is so small, other than the bride & groom there were only 4 other people posing, I think they just didn't want me in their wedding pictures

Well if you are going to spin it like that, then of course it's going to hurt you. Stop thinking about it. It's not a big deal in the long term. You don't know what was in their minds, but you seem determined to think that they didn't want you which is probably not the case.

Let it go darlin...it's not worth the heartache.

May152005 Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:04 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

eogara Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:06 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

Posted by fashionhag

Well if you are going to spin it like that, then of course it's going to hurt you. Stop thinking about it. It's not a big deal in the long term. You don't know what was in their minds, but you seem determined to think that they didn't want you which is probably not the case.

Let it go darlin...it's not worth the heartache.

You can't just turn off feelings.

I'd be hurt to, I definitely understand what you're saying. Maybe you'll get a clearer picture when they get their proofs. If they're looking at the family pics with you and still don't mention 'OMG we don't have any with you in them' or something, then maybe it's something worth mentioning. It obviously won't change the lack of pictures but if you were hurt, I think it might be helpful to speak to them that it bothered you and why.

CubanBride Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:06 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

Posted by May152005
Some people write poems to feel better, I post on liweddings.

LOL! And I drink so there...we're even.

LADYLUV69 Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:09 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

I believe you are taking this a bit far. No you are not a random date, but you are not the wife. Yes you are engaged, but engagements can be called off (not saying that this will happen to you). A lot of people do not see a fiance as a commitment, it is the step to get there. I've been with my FH for 9 years and when we went to family functions (whether his or mine) we never took pictures with his or mine extended family or immediate family at functions such as weddings. Personally, it did not bother us. We always made sure that the two of us took pictures together. I believe once you say 'I DO' we too will be in the pictures and get the wallets.

tourist Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:16 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

I'd be annoyed. I can see not putting a girlfiend in a picture, but fiance? By the time they get there albums & prints & stuff, You'll almsot be married.

That's weird.

I'd be hurt too.

CubanBride Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:18 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

Posted by eogara
You can't just turn off feelings.

True, but I am in the camp that believes that you can control them.

May15 is hurt because she feels they didn't want her in the pictures and she doesn't seem to want to waver from that thinking when it is fully posible that is was something overlooked.

Now is she chose to believe it was accidental, then she would more than likely not be so hurt by it, now would she.

So by choosing to believe the former, she is putting herself in a position to be hurt. Unless there is something else that happened to make her feel that they didn't want her, why would sahould come up with that specific conclusion?

(I have really been watching too much cable tv. That damn Dr. Phil.)

sept20yay Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:20 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

My brother in laws long time GIRLFRIEND was in all of my formal pictures and they are not even engaged yet. Another person I know made her brothers long time girlfriend her MOH knowing that they would get married. I feel what happened this weekend was wrong and inconsiderate. JMO. I would feel upset.

I would also look at the relationship she has to your FH. Is that strained or are they not close? That might explain it then.

eta: I asked my bil if we shoudl include her in the pics and he said yes. that was all I needed to know- It was a serious relationship between the two of them.

AtticaQT Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:33 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

i sent you FM -

And lots of hugs - because i know how you feel

JZNCK Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:35 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

No, I would be offended.. Especially that they are both in YOUR Wedding.. your family NOW

ChristineC68 Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:42 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

I understand why you are hurt but some families are weird about stuff like that.

DH's aunt has this thing about blood relatives vs. legal/married relatives. She says that you never know what may happen down the line and so and so may not be together down the line. This includes her own SIL in our wedding pics.

OctBride05 Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:44 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

i would be hurt too

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:45 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

I would be hurt too.

Bride2B93 Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:47 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

I would be hurt too!!

AnnBrunoXO Posted: Jun 28, 2004 01:59 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

No, you are not Over-analysing!! OMG, I would be very very upset and I think you should definitely mention it to your FH - not in a mean way - because it wasn't his fault - but bring up the situation in case he didn't notice.
You are family - future or not, you are engaged to her brother and should of been in some pictures (Im not saying every picture) but for good sake - we take pictures of everything else, flowers, cake, dress, shoes, relatives, hair etc..... what is the big deal of including you in a picture - is her choice whether to add you to her album at that point (which she should as you guys get married).....
I haven't had a problem personally with any issue like this, i attended a few wedding w/my husband of his cousins before we were even engaged and I was in some family shots with the cousins and immediate family.....
Sorry to be so critical ..... but I think you have a valid point especially since they are in your bridal party..how rude of them!!!!

heidla Posted: Jun 28, 2004 02:02 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

I can understand your feelings. I will say that after my wedding I felt that I had left people out of pictures. It was not intentional. I was so excited and happy that I simply forgot.

Scoop Posted: Jun 28, 2004 02:20 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

I agree with you. I would be hurt as well. As his fiance, you are part of the family. You don't have to be in all of them but they should have asked you to be in some.

Sometimes people are just clueless and don't think.

Ericia Posted: Jun 28, 2004 02:21 PM

Re: Would this bother you or am I over-analysing?

I'd be very upset! I think you should bring this to your fiance's attention. It's almost like they intentionally shut you out, and that is not fair. You are going to be part (if you aren't already) of his family. A little courtesy would be nice.

Good luck