XOXO

jenny2penny Posted: Dec 23, 2004 10:59 AM

.

MonkeyLuv Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:02 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

chuck it... drop that box like a bad habit

Kriss2c Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:03 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

the old coal in the stocking approach just took on new meaning.

Honestly, and this is just me here, but whenever I have kept things from a previous bf - they have always made me feel sad when I stumbled upon them later on.... I ended up tossing it all anyway but I felt that keeping them was just one more way of them hurting me.

MuchInLuvMichi Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:05 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

hun i m the queen of keeping ex momentos but in ur case i truly feel that junking it might b the best thing..it is sooo liberating!! a fresh start for the new yr!!!!! what an a$$ that boy was lemme tell ya...

sarahthegreat Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:06 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

throw it out, this way you are letting go both literally and figuratively.

btrflygrl Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:08 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

what I did from a 5 year (abusive) relationship with all my memories.....I was single at the time, I had my best friend over and had her help me rip up everything and dump it in a garbage can. All the photos I purned outside on the cement patio (while my father quietly watched).....

there are still a few things here and there that I actually use, but it all got dumped....VERY cathartic to rip up every last piece of paper

JimmysBride Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:14 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

Since I don't know all the details of how things ended off with him, it's kinda hard to say. If you think you could ever look back on this relationship's memories with fondness and a positive outlook then I would say, tuck them in storage as far away from you as possible, and move on, but don't toss just yet.

If, on the other hand, he did something so hurtful and slimy recently (which it seems like to me) that you know your memories of your relationship will be tainted forever with pain & resentment -- then CHUCK IT ALL!!!

jenny2penny Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:22 AM

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tourist Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:25 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

Throw out the mementos-- I don't even keep ticket stubs from places I went with DH. I hate clutter.
Maybe save a few pictures, if you like the way you look in them!

don424 Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:27 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

check the stubs, sometimes they're worth money if they're from a reunion concert or something

you can sell them on ebay, people collect crap like that

jenny2penny Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:30 AM

.

frosty Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:35 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

If the items have 'no value' to you--get rid of them. Especially if they will bring up bad memories of the ex.

bxgell2 Posted: Dec 23, 2004 11:44 AM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

I'm on the fence - it depends on the relationship. My first serious relationship was my first love, and didn't end horribly, and yet, at the urging of my next BF, I threw everything out, and kind of regret it now. Second BF was EVIL INCARNATE, and probably the most emotionally abusive person I'll ever know in my life. He made me feel like crap over and over, especially when the relationship ended, so throwing out everything that had anything to do with him was the best thing I could do for myself... like someone said, it was very cathartic. In your case, I would say, considering how much of a jerk he sounds, I would throw it away...

jozieb0925 Posted: Dec 23, 2004 12:05 PM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

I think you should 'burn everything and mail him the ashes'...that's a great idea!!!

Sassyz75 Posted: Dec 23, 2004 12:14 PM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

THROW IT OUT!

JimmysBride Posted: Dec 23, 2004 12:44 PM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

Posted by jenny2penny

you must have missed it...but here is the 60sec recap.

I posted in Oct 'what is the carziest thing you ever did to get a guy/girl to notice you'

I responded. I once spent 2 hours on the bike at my gym to see a guy I had a crush on.

Well some vendor here, knows my exFH and told him what I posted. 'looking out so he does not get hurt'.

That post was referring to something I did in 1995, at a gym I don't even belong too.

Well, my ex assumed it was recently, and never felt the need to hear my side of the story. Even posted here saying I spent all this time at the gym and took time away from being with him (mean while he lives out in the hamptons, and he was the one working his jobs) Not to mention he was getting mad if I was making plans (during the week) with friends. What???? Him not get hurt, have we all forgotten he chose his life over me and ended the engagement 4 months before the wedding?

It's crazy. He actual beleives I was 'plotting' to string him along, while I went for the crush as well. After all these yeard, he must not know me.

Hey, maybe this friend of his,,,is more a friend to me and did me a huge favor.
I have put up with his constant emotional abuse long enough. He never changed since we tried things again. He quickly went back to him life being first, not us as a couple.

Did I make sense?

Oh geez.... ... what an ego on this guy!!!!! I mean REALLY!!! For the record, (and I hope you don't mind me posting this) when Jim and I met you both, the first thing we both thought was 'WHAT is SHE doing with HIM?' Talk about dating out of your league... .... well, someday he'll realize how good he had it.

Anyway.... it's still hard to say throw it all away because your past makes you who you are today... and everything that happens in your life, happens for a reason (I believe) so someday you might want to reflect back on this relationship and see how much you've grown and changed... or maybe remind yourself of a time when you weren't as strong as you are now so that you never let it happen again.

I say...... burn ALMOST all of it.... in a big ceremonial bonfire!! But don't mail him anything... he's not worth the $0.37 right now... but keep maybe one pic, or one ticket stub of a fond or meaningful memory from that relationship that you may want to look back on later.

jj04 Posted: Dec 23, 2004 01:53 PM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

I say do not throw it out yet. You do not want to regret it because you never know what may happen in the future. I say get it out of your view, store it at a friends, or parents this way you will not look at it, read the letters etc. Oneday when things settle down you will be able to answer for yourself if you should toss it all, but right now you are hurt, angry etc and I would hate to see you regret it oneday.

mikeysgirl Posted: Dec 23, 2004 04:26 PM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

Jenny2penny.....one day you will meet the man of your dreams and you will not want the old memories around. Throw them out and don't look back you. You do not want to fumble across them in the future.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

girlygrl33 Posted: Dec 23, 2004 04:55 PM

Re: Seriously: Help me decide: Toss or hold on too?

I say throw it out--- If you guys get back together start NEW and fresh memories, the old ones ended up terrible, the pictures save any that you look good in, lol. all others chuck, lol.