XOXO

Well she seems really selfish and from dealing with selfish people. I would assume she is not even thinking of your feelings, she probably doesn't understand all she knows is she wants her way and she got it.

To confront her now, there is no point. She already has done what she has and there is nothing you can do about it.

Again she seem like a very selfish person and probably cares more about what she wants then you. You obviously can't do anything about it now, but beware of the future. She is always going to be that way and you have to pick your battles wisely. When you decided to pick a battle do it before she ruins it.

Good luck with everything.

You have to choose your battles. When something really bothers you, I think you need to say something.

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Posted by LisaJill

UGH.

While I respect the other ladies opinions on here, I must say it is absolutely pointless to deal with her. You will not win. She will continue to do this stuff and I really think you have to just learn to dismiss her inappropriate behavior.

She can't possibly think that she is doing a good thing right now. She has to know better but she is doing mean selfish stuff anyway.

I really truly think that confronting the situation won't make it better and, truth be told, given you history -- she willl do this again about something else. You have to just learn how to not get upset by it. GOOD LUCK!

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I agree. I had similar problems with my MIL and it was just pointless. The good news is that once the wedding stress was over things got a lot better between us. I hope they do for you too! Try to stay strong. She's a bitter control freak who is losing it because she thinks she's losing her power over her son!

I have... took me yrs to explode... FH always delt with her and I dont think she realized that FH and I talk about things so she would always play game with us! Pull guilt trips to get her way... anyway I spoke with FH many times and he competely backed me up when i told him the next time she pulls this i am going to explode.. she pulled crap again, i exploded! (i even wrote a list of incidences over the yrs so i didnt leave much out) i told FH what i said, the whole convo the bad and good and he said good, you should have to deal with it anymore and he was glad i finally exploded! But in your case i would definitly talk to FH about how he feels about you approching his mom! In the end it doesnt matter if she ends up disliking you it is how FH will feel! Cause either way if you do approach her she cant ignor you, where she may disregard your feelings if FH is always the one to communicate them. I have not had much contact with FH since then, but we live far apart but now she is not telling me what to do and i am SURE she will be more careful with her words.. i dont think she wants another confontation!

Anyway, do talk with FH about it and make sure he supports you talking with FMIL... his support and your sanity matter more... if FH is blind to his moms flaws then it is a touchy subject if you should approach her..

Good luck!!!

I have always been told pick your battles wisely-and I cant stress this enough-I dont argue with FMIL...my FIL have always been very good to me

I have thought about this-if your feelings are hurt then you should saysomething-thats the way that I feel

My FMIL is very kind and thoughtful. But she’s also EXTREMELY intrusive, nosy and likes to start drama.

At first, I would let FH handle it. but now with 17 left to go until the wedding, I bite back

I have no patience for BS at this point.

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

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Posted by PrincessRose

Honestly, if I were in your situation, I would be glad that the people at my shower were all people I loved, rather than people I was inviting out of duty. But then that's how I feel about DH's family. I don't know how you feel about your FH's family. All I can say is that you've got to pick your battles with this woman because like or not, she's gonna be around. What does your FH say about it?

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The thing is, I do like his family. If I'd walked in to see none of them there without warning(btw - his mother hasn't responded either and we don't think that she's attending), I would have cried.

He thinks that I should talk to her because he feels completely stuck, especially since she doesn't listen to him at all.

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That's the kind of thing I would talk to her about. I find that it never ever helps to let things fester and build up inside. (a) it's not healthy (b) it will come out later over something stupid and blow up in everyone's face... and (c) this is your husband-to-be's mom, she's not going anywhere and I think it's best to try and have a relationship with her if at all possible. If she is important to FH, try and communicate with her about this at least once before giving up. At least you'll know you tried, and most likely, you'll feel better than if you hold it in.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!