XOXO

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Oct 19, 2005 02:45 PM

.

LuvMyFH Posted: Oct 19, 2005 02:48 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

Actually I kind of think it's better for FH to deal with it. That's how I deal with it, for ex. or date FMIL wasn't to happy with it ,I had FH talk to her alone it is his mother.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Oct 19, 2005 02:50 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

tracy2246 Posted: Oct 19, 2005 02:51 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

I kind of ignore it and only see her when there is no way out. I have learned that even getting FI involved will only serve as more stress on me and him. I hate having him in the middle -
Naturally my first instinct is to confront her but what would that solve. In my case she has no real reason to dislike me-but she does.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Oct 19, 2005 02:53 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

LisaJill Posted: Oct 19, 2005 02:54 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

WORSE!

In January, my fsil gave birth. the sex of the child was a secret until the baby was born. My FMIL kept trying to call my FH on his cell to tell him about the baby's birth and he didn't answer so she called me at work. I am a lawyer at a very stressful job. She called and said 'Lisa Fh's sister had the baby' I was so excited!!!! and I asked her if it was a boy or girl. SHE REFUSED TO TELL ME! she said she would only tell FH -- at that time it wasn't a secret other people knew the sex she just wouldnt tell me. I was so hurt that she didn't treat me like part of the family (he and i were living together). I told her later that I didn't like how i was treated... she exploded and she actually played victim sooo well!!! booh hoo hoo! Our relationship has never recovered. She is a total matriarch and did not like being challenged end of story.

We are not going to change them. They are who we are and I know, that in my situation, she needs to be in control and I am not one to be controlled. Now I just see her as rarely as I possibly can and I chalk it up to an acquiantance type of relationship. Lets face it, if you don't get along with them, they are not going to feel bad for hurting you cause they just don't care. JMO good luck!

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Oct 19, 2005 02:56 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

tracy2246 Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:15 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

Posted by JanuaryBride06

Posted by LisaJill

Lets face it, if you don't get along with them, they are not going to feel bad for hurting you cause they just don't care. JMO good luck!

I agree with you on this.

me too-
keep your head up and try not to stress.

LuvMyFH Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:22 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

Posted by JanuaryBride06

That's how I've been doing it but she doesn't listen. She's truly crossed the line at this point and I feel like the only way that she'll listen is if it comes respectfully from me.

I really don't know what your issues but you need to address it as nice as possiable.

It's your wedding and it should be your way, but you also want to get along with her you have a entire life that she will be part of.

12-3Princess Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

I confronted my FMIL last Christmas when she was acting like a total B!TCH.... I was very nice and I said, something really seems to be bothering you, you're not yourself, do you want to talk about anything...

Then she started crying and opened up and told FH she was glad I spoke to her.

OF course, that took A LOT cuz what I really wanted to do at the time was reem her out beyond belief....

Depends on the situation. There are times she angers me and FH handles it, and there are times I ignore it. Want to share more detail about what's goin on with yours?

LuvMyFH Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:26 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

I agree there are many things my FMIL does that annoys me you have to pick your battles wisely. usually FH can handel it if not then you need to step in if it's really important to you.

PrincessRose Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:34 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

It depends on the individual MIL, honestly. DH deals with his mother by ignoring her, and as hard as it is for me to do so, I try to do the same. She's the type that if you confront her or argue with her or try to point out that maybe she's being hurtful, she will only get angrier and more indignant. There's just no reasoning with her, sadly.

So we moved to Delaware. We only see her when we must.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:41 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

PrincessRose Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:48 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

Honestly, if I were in your situation, I would be glad that the people at my shower were all people I loved, rather than people I was inviting out of duty. But then that's how I feel about DH's family. I don't know how you feel about your FH's family. All I can say is that you've got to pick your battles with this woman because like or not, she's gonna be around. What does your FH say about it?

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:51 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

LisaJill Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:53 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

UGH.

While I respect the other ladies opinions on here, I must say it is absolutely pointless to deal with her. You will not win. She will continue to do this stuff and I really think you have to just learn to dismiss her inappropriate behavior.

She can't possibly think that she is doing a good thing right now. She has to know better but she is doing mean selfish stuff anyway.

I really truly think that confronting the situation won't make it better and, truth be told, given you history -- she willl do this again about something else. You have to just learn how to not get upset by it. GOOD LUCK!

PrincessRose Posted: Oct 19, 2005 03:55 PM

Re: Questions for ladies with FMIL/MIL problems

Then maybe you should talk to her about how you're feeling. Although I'm put off by the fact that she doesn't listen to him, there's still hope because you mentioned that she has admitting to being out of line before.

If I tried to have a conversation like that with my MIL, though, it would not go well. She's really weird and out of the ordinary though, so she's just a bad example.