XOXO

Why does all this have to happen to us brides right before our weddings?? Ugh!

Well first, we all agree she should have said something sooner, and in a better way. She's an adult, and should figure out what to do abou the dress instead of dumping it on you. (An insert sounds perfect...could have even borrowed extra material from another BM if she tried on her dress sooner).

But there were 2 things that you said that stood out to me.
1) You are concerned about making other people uncomfortable on your wedding day. While it may be in your nature to care about others, it's YOUR wedding day, and even if it's just this ONCE, They should be more concerned about how you feel, NOT the other way around. My dear FH keeps telling me not to worry so much about other people, because, after all, it is my day. But it's hard, I know....
2) You don't think you'll maintain a friendship with her long after the wedding. This is a tough call, but if she hasn't been there for you, and you dont think she will be in the future, do you really want to look back on all of your wedding photos and see a picture of someone who you don't even speak to? I understand that this isn't the best time to make such an important decision, but if she is a true friend, and she is legitimately uncomfortable wearing the dress, she might be relieved if you ask her to step down.

Hope this helps!

P.S. I hate wedding stress!

Wows, I can't believe someone could be like that and you are too nice to offer to let her wear a shawl and not have ripper her a new one for being so difficult.

Thank goodness your other girls are there for you and they sound like they have your back.

I totally don't understand why some individuals have to ruin the process for us brides when there are so many others out there who are helpful and care about us enough to be supportive and involved.

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Posted by EMES2006
2) You don't think you'll maintain a friendship with her long after the wedding. This is a tough call, but if she hasn't been there for you, and you dont think she will be in the future, do you really want to look back on all of your wedding photos and see a picture of someone who you don't even speak to? I understand that this isn't the best time to make such an important decision, but if she is a true friend, and she is legitimately uncomfortable wearing the dress, she might be relieved if you ask her to step down.

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I completely agree. You don't want to look back on your day or at your pics and get upset b/c someone who you probably won't keep in touch with after the wedding is in a lot of the pics. Is she going to cause you unnecessary stress on your day? If so, it's not worth having her in your BP. It's her loss, not yours. If she can't stand up there and support you on one of the most important days of your life, she's not being a good friend and doesn't deserve to be a BM.

Honestly, I am large 'up there' and yes I don't feel I could have wore that dress. I also don't feel I have to wear 'whatever' a bride wants me to wear. Like a tight dress or revealing. So if someone would tell me to just suck it in, I would have to step down. I don't agree with that statement. This is my wedding, but I am making sure I am taking my BP into consideration. That's also a sign of respect for them.

In her case, she waited for the last minute to tell you. She will have to find a way to alter it herself.

When it comes to friendship. I believe true friendship grows and adapts. Just like life. She is not embrassing the changes. We all have experienced at least one of our friend getting married and getting kids and feel left out. You and her need to decide if your friendship is worth maintaining since you are both not on the same page. Sometimes it happens.