XOXO

iamvocal72 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 03:46 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

Say something.

Make waves.

It is ALWAYS worth it.

Even if they had an 'off' day this was not a good time to be having an off day. I would go in person, talk with someone in charge - I will BET YOU MONEY that you are NOT going to be the first or the last to complain. Pre-cana is supposed to be special, about the couple, and it is very important in creating good dialog about relationships. This did not happen therefore someone should know about it.

Best of luck to you.

portjeffbride Posted: Apr 30, 2007 03:54 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

shoot, I have a big mouth... I would have been fighting with him.... oh boy... that would have been UGLY

definitely say something to the church.. since they are so deeply involved with pre-cana, you might even want to say something to the diocese... especially how badly the church comes-off with the hatred and fear-mongering....

Mrs.Ptobe Posted: Apr 30, 2007 03:55 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

I personally, and granted I am not catholic, but FH is - I would have walked out and unbooked the church, but I also cannot bare to listen to someone preach about marriage when they only have their own to compare too... I don't care how long they are married... no one person/couple has written the book on marriage and every marriage has issues that only the 2 people involved and work on and learn from. Nothing is perfect and couples today have much different issues/pressures than someone married 20, 30 or 50 years ago. JMO.

L&R Posted: Apr 30, 2007 03:57 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

First off, I'm so sorry you had to deal with this during PreCana. It should have been a wonderful bonding experience for you and your FH - at least it was when I went.

Second, definitely say something. Even if you don't want to tell the parish tell the Diocese. They would want to know. If people don't complain or make them aware of the problem, then how are they supposed to deal with it. And I would be specific; tell them what he said, how he treated people, etc.

rkl1130 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 04:03 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

Oh wow! I'm so sorry about your pre-cana experience.

I think you should definitely say something. This couple is suposed to be 'counseling' other couples and representing the church. I'm sure that if you feel that way about them, then others do too. This is a great opportunity for the church to re-think their pre-cana program.

GinaZ Posted: Apr 30, 2007 04:11 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

I think you should speak to someone at the church and explain why you are upset. Do you have to go back or did you do the one day session and its all over now? Im catholic as well and it sometimes frustrates me how closed minded some of the ideas in the church can be. But I know that also depends on each parish.

Also, that is sooooooo inappropriate of him to be plugging his business at the same time!

drpepper318 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 04:13 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

Whoa. That's awful! What a nightmare!
I feel back because I actually really liked pre-cana and if it's done right it can be a great experience.
You should say something to the pastor of your church, or whoever runs pre-cana. This couple shouldn't be involved in in anymore!

Ard Mhacha 02 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 04:26 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

I can def say that we went to the same couple for our Pre-Cana..... reading your post, ours was exactly the same, he did all the talking and when his wife said anything he basically corrected her..... he pushed at the whole morals issue so much with the stupid questions like .... would you pretend your child was under 12 to get a childs fare.... towards the end everyone was basically telling him what he wanted to hear to save arguments, though my FI liked to stir the pot at times

The guy was soooo judgemental, I was totally shocked, this day an age things are different and he needs to move with the times......

I didn't really get anything out of it, but other couples have and i'm sure not all Pre-Cana is bad.......

Cpt2007 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 04:39 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

I am so sorry you went through this. you definitely should say something.

donegal419 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 05:06 PM

Re: If this happened at your Pre-Cana, what would you do?

I would say something. . . . it sounds like this guy shouldn't be running a Pre-Cana. That said however, he does have a responsibility to teach the teachings of the Church, but there are ways to do that in an appropriate manner. Whether or not a couple agrees with those teachings is another story, but it doesn't sound like that's what you're upset about---- sounds like it was more his approach.

in addition, racist comments, not being a good role model (bering rude to his own wife!), not making couples feel comfortable, and not even talking about finances, etc. etc. and other issues is a HUGE problem. A couple like that can make or break people's experience as well as possibly even turning a couple away from the Church all together!!! I would most definitely talk to your pastor or whatever priest or deacon may over see the Pre-Cana program.