.

.

Flower Girl Shoe Advice - Long Island Weddings

I honestly would let her wear the shoes she bought. No one will really notice the shoes on the flower girl, and it is one less argument and thing for you to worry about.

I fear that if you make her wear the ivory shoes she will be uncooperative and/or be upset the day of the wedding, which you don't want.

If the other flower girls mom says something about the silver shoes, you could explain the drama, and I'm sure she would understand.

Flower Girl Shoe Advice - Long Island Weddings

It's your wedding, it should be what you want. If you don't want silver shows then they should respect that. Especially if you were planning to purchase them yourself then they shouldn't be complaining.

Flower Girl Shoe Advice - Long Island Weddings

we gave up the battle of the shoes before it started. FMIL picked out flip flops and we said fine! (they have backs, so should be OK)

Flower Girl Shoe Advice - Long Island Weddings

Your sister should have checked with you first before buying them. How moody can your niece be? Do you think the change would actually upset her or is your sister just being difficult? I'd probably buy the ivory ones for her and see if you can get her excited about those. If she throws a fit because she really loves her silver ones you might be in trouble.
I went to my FG's house a few times for 'practice runs' where she put on her dress and shoes and even a little veil. We got her fake flower petals so she could practice and it helped her get excited for the actual wedding. Maybe play up the fact that the only ones who get to wear white are the bride and flower girls and you have to wear all white (even the shoes) and make her feel like its a special honor.

ETA - If she does wear silver, it probably wouldn't matter at all, but I get that its important to you.

.

.

Re: Flower Girl Shoe Advice

---

Posted by snarkyspice

I see both sides of the coin and I know it's only a pair or shoes. But at this point, the shoes are the effing Alamo between me and my sister. It's about her lack of respect for my wishes and doing whatever the hell she wants. These shoes are about her wants and needs being more important that anyone else's.

But then again, it's just a pair of shoes.

---

I understand your frustrations, and it was absolutely wrong of her to buy the girl shoes without asking you first.

I was going through the same things. My mom thought it was her wedding and wanted to do whatever she wanted. I let her get away with a lot of stuff i wasn't thrilled with (She got a red dress, she wore a gaudy silver shawl, she refused to carry a bouquet and threw out her corsage after the church, didn't have my godfather walk her down the aisle since my grandfather was ill and took it upon herself to have her brother do it instead) because I just wanted peace. I knew if she didn't get her way she would have been complaining about it the whole time, and making little comments and taking digs about it. It sucked, but the day of she wasn't complaining at all and didn't get on my nerves and I had a great day.

I barely even noticed the thing the day of (didnt know about my uncle walking her down the aisle until I got my proofs back).

.

.

Flower Girl Shoe Advice - Long Island Weddings

Do you have a good relationship with your sister? Can you just talk it out with her? I feel like if my sister was pulling this crap I would say 'hey al, suck it up and just use the shoes I bought' and there would be a small battle royale and then it would be over. Tell your neice that the silver ones would make beautiful shoes for Christmas.

.

.

Flower Girl Shoe Advice - Long Island Weddings

Good luck. I hope it all works out!

Re: Flower Girl Shoe Advice

---

Posted by snarkyspice

We have a terrible relationship. I plan on cutting her out of my life after the wedding.

I'm just letting it go. Like, I really wish she could just be happy for me and do what I want but I really think she might have something wrong with her where she can't. I'm not happy but I can't change the situation and all I can do is stop trying.

Honestly though, if she pulls one more stunt like this I might just ask her not to come.

---

That really stinks that she is doing this to you. she may really have something wrong w/ her. My sister was diagnosed after my wedding with Bipolar II.

That explains why she was such a horrid beeoooootch during my planning and wore the straps on her damn dress after we had a fight about it and I specifically asked her not to!

Thank Goodness for photo editing, my album guy will airbrush them right out.