YAY..IT'S TIME FOR DEAR ________

Dear tile guy,
Thank you sooooooooo much for selling the tile FH needed to do his job this weekend!!!! Now FH is out 2 days work!!!

yours truly,
Poor Bride To Be

Dear L.E.G (abbreivated words)

I really think you are pathetic. Stop running your mouths. why must you spread rumors and cause drama. Get freaking lives already.

Truly yours

the one who is biting her lip from having a flipping cow on you!

Dear FH,

While I do understand that with your new job you have absolutely NO time for me, that doesnt mean you need to stay at work for 14 hours a day just to come home have dinner and go to bed!!!! Yea hi nice to see you too!!!! You also dont need to tell me to call you at a certain time just to not answer your phone....it is f**king irritating.

Thanks,

Your loving FW

Dear DH,

How many times do I have to ask you to put away your suitcase. It's been out for a month. It takes up so much space it makes my OCD crazy. And the same goes for giving your mother back her corning ware. That has been TWO months. I just don't want the clutter in the apartment anymore.
And please wait to talk to me until after my soap opera is over. I'm watching TV AND on LIW. I can only so do many things at once, and it's really not necessary for me watch you play air guitar anyway.

Love,
YOUR WIFE

Dear Obnoxious Talker On The R Train,

Why must you stand 3' from where i sit with your massive tush in my face. By the way, putting your sh1tty $3 umbrella on the back straps of your backpack so that everytime the train jerks back and forth it hits my knee is totally not cool and when I asked you to please get out of my personal space you gave me a look like i had killed your first born. Next time I will.

K thnx bye

Also!

Dear Rush Hour Stroller Lady,

Carry that thing in your hands.It came out of you, you can carry it for the 20 minutes youre on the train too.

You're an @sshole. Nuff said.

Dear FH,

Why does it take you over an hour to eat dinner and primp to come over? Is it necessary to wash up and primp to come here to promptly watch HGTV, The Soup, and fall asleep?

If you didn't have so much hair, I would question the testosterone levels going on here.

Love,

Your impatient FW

Dear Immature prank calling a-hole,

I didnt go to william floyd, i graduated HS 6 years ago. I have no clue how my phone number ended up in your fricken cell phone.
I'm over your silly stupid BS. Oh yea, stop withholding your phone number from my caller id. If you're gonna keep pranking me, atleast have the bawls to show me ur number.

Sincerely,
She who has better things to do on a Friday night

PS - If the best you can come up with is a constant 'Hello'...you obviously have nothing better to do on a Friday night.

PPS - you really must be bored if this is the 2nd day this week you've called me...LOSER.

Here's a brand new updated one

Dear FH,

When you are explicitly told that the only thing we need to bring to this pre-cana whatever seminar is our baptism certificates, this rule also applies to you. You cannot bring a photocopy because 'they know' you, and that yours is too old and fancy to bring. It's only 4 years older than mine...and I'm not whining like a little girl.

If they throw us out tomorrow morning because of your ego, I WILL kill you.

Love,
Your FW who has common sense, thank God that one of us does