Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

Hi girls,

I found a lovely red ('rouge') bridesmaids dress from BCBG. Two of my girls went to the store with me - both absolutely loved it. My maid of honor (one of the girls that went with me) has big boobs (34DD), and the dress is low cut - we are having issues finding a bra that works for her because of the style of the dress (it is low cut, but the straps criscross in the back, and none of the bras at VS work with the dress). Another bridesmaid (there are 4 in all) ran out and bought the dress as well and loves it. Both she and one of the other girls are going to wear 'pasties' with the dress, as their breasts are not very large and they will be able to get away with it.

Now, here is the problem - my FSIL is busty - 36D and is very tall....the dress goes to her ankles only, which isn't a huge problem, but she bought the dress today and I could tell by her voice over the phone that she is not comfortable in it. She is conservative and NEVER shows her cleavage....she is hoping that a tailor can take the straps in a bit, but I can tell that the dress is much lower cut than she is used to wearing.

I feel so torn! I LOVE this dress - it is elegant (yes, a little low cut, but it is elegant nonetheless), but I don't want my FSIL to feel uncomfortable. At the same time, I feel like she has options - a 'custom made bra' or something called a 'modesty panel'. Does anyone know about modesty panels? What are they and where can we get them?

I hate that I feel guilty about my choice - the last thing I ever wanted was for someone to feel uncomfortable, but I guess I just wasn't taking her frame into consideration. Help!! What can I do? I don't want to return the dreses, especially since it works for the other three girls :(

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

Are there other dresses that are the same color and fabric? If yes, maybe have your FSIL and your two busty girls choose another style in the same color and fabric.

I can see it from both sides, yours and theirs, but it would be a shame to have people uncomfortable in the dress. It would reflect on their moods that day as well as in your pictures. I would think that you would want everyone to be happy and comfortable. As much as it stinks, you might have to find another dress that works for everyone.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

I was a BM in a wedding last year and had strapless dresses. I went to a store in Oceanside (I think it was called Mary Lerner or something like that) and bought a long line bra. the women there worked with me until I found something that held me up (I'm a 36DD) and was low enough in the back. they told me to keep the receipt and if they needed to cut down the bra lower in the back they would.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

Have you thought about having cups sewn in for the bra problem? And I had a beautiful dress that was low cut and had a piece of lace sewn into it...with the right piece of lace the dress will still be elegant and she will most likely be more comfortable if she likes that idea.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

Have the larger busted women try Mary's Corsetieres in Woodbury or Georgettes in Hicksville to shop for bras. Mary's will fit them in a bra & help them out. Georgette's is also fabulous & will help them. They specialize in larger chested women....fm me if you need more info...

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

How about buying coordinating wraps so the self-conscious/conservative girls can cover up a bit? I have a large chest as well, and I have one of those convertible bras that can criss-cross in the back. I've never had a problem with it.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

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Posted by Mystere

Have you thought about having cups sewn in for the bra problem? And I had a beautiful dress that was low cut and had a piece of lace sewn into it...with the right piece of lace the dress will still be elegant and she will most likely be more comfortable if she likes that idea.

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Cups sewn in will only make it worse for women with large breasts....I know, I am one. I have had cups removed from every dress I have ever bought with them in. Definately have her go to Mary's, as someone else suggested. They will custom tailor the bra. Have her bring the dress or a pic of it so they know how low the back needs to be.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

Do you have a picture of the dress.

A modesty panel is a piece of fabric that is placed in the low cut portion that is usually flesh tone in color but you cannot see through it so nothing can be seen.

As someone else suggested Mary's and Georgette's is the place to go for a bra for us big busted girls. When my bra was showing my dress they were the ones that altered the bra to my dress.

Victoria Secret doesn't know that there are boobs over 34D and if they have anything for over that it is definitely not supportive enough.

As a girl that is big chested I can definitely understand your FSIL's feelings, but without seeing the dress, given the right bra or modesty panel I might be OK.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

don't have them do the cups sewn in, won't work!!!

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

I am a big girl up top and I HAD to wear a dress for a wedding, the dress was beautiful and I was so uneasy about wearing it but who am I to say anything. I loved the dress and went to Georgette's in Hicksville...wow was she such a help. I loved them there, she helped me with a corsette and feeling comphy with support.
Get the dress you want, I was feeling so shy in the dress but on the day of the wedding I had a great time and besides...Everyone is looking at the bride not the big busted bridesmaid. Go with the dress and I am sure she will understand...Good luck!

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

You have to decide what is the issue. Is it that she does not feel comfortable because she does not wear low cut dresses or she won't find a bra that will work with the dress? If its the latter, that issue can be resolved. But if she is simply not comfortable, I would have them return the dresses. I like this Vera Wang BM dress, but two girls felt uncomfortable because it was so low cut. So they picked out another one. If she is uncomfortable, I would definitely have them wear another one.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

you can try to get a matching piece of fabric sewn into the low cut portion that will hide any unwanted cleavage... i did that to a party dress i had and it worked great.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

that's a great idea - and pasties can work well even if you're well-endowed. what you should do is buy them one cup size larger (i've seen them go beyond a DD even) and use two on each boob. works like a charm. i'm a 36DD and i used them for a formal dress years ago - i could even dance and they barely moved.

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

As far as bras- Blum's in Patchogue is WONDERFUL!! they can help any boobs large or small (like me).

As far as your FSIL feeling uncomfortable- I can understand that. I am self-concious about my body too and I am sure she is not too happy...maybe you should have a talk with her and see if she has any ideas or preferences...

Good luck!

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

As much as I hate to say this, there is nothing worse than being a bridesmaid wearing a dress that you really don't like. I did it three times as a plus-size lady. Though I am not plus-sized anymore. I remember how it felt to be uncomfortable and would not subject anyone I care about to wearing a dress they didn't like for any reason - whether it be because they have big boobs, or big arms or waist. JMO

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

I had the exact problem! I found an awesome BCBG dress on sale at bloomingdales. I went with one of my smaller boobed bridesmaids, we fell in love with the dress but 2 of my other bridesmaids just could not wear it, actually one of them would not fit into a size 12 the largest they had. I totally understand how you fell in love with the dress but if someone is not going to feel comfortable in it, you might want to rethink your choice. I hate to say that because I know how stressful it is finding a dress for many different people but you don't want your bridesmaids boobs popping out or them feeling uncomfortable, especially your fsil!

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

As a 34DD - I can tell you that being in bridal parties was HORRIBLE for me - none of the cute dresses that fit the other girls would fit me, and I alsways felt so badly. Almost everytime, the bride would chose a dress that did not 'overshow' my boobs. Once, I did get a modesty panel put in - it really was no big deal, I dont' think it was noticable - but they only work with certain types of dresses. good luck!

Re: Bridesmaids dress issue - big boobs

try ruth's libgerie , it's on merrick road. they have MANY MANY bra options, and they even alter bras on the spot. Bring the dress there and try it out. If Ruth can't come up with something, then return the dress. I really think she can. I am REALLY big on top 38DD/DDD, and she foudn me a bra and altered it so it fits me SO well and I comfortably wear strapless gowns all the time