Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

My FH is Lutheran (LMCS) and I was raised Catholic (Baptized, Communion and Confirmed Catholic). We're planning to get married at a Catholic church to honor my parents since we chose an RH that's so far from them and closer to my FH's family. FH really wants to raise our kids Lutheran. At first I had no preference but I've been attending his church and I'm starting to want to raise them Lutheran too. We want to get married in the Bronx but I'm afraid the church I want (my childhood church, still my grandma's church) might be too traditional and give us a hard time about FH being an ex Catholic converted to Lutheranism. (He was a baptized catholic and also did his first communion as Catholic before his family became Lutheran and he was then confirmed Lutheran).

I spoke to FH about this and all that matters him is that we get married at a church. He doesn't care which denomination. He refuses to get married at a place that isn't a church, so an RH wedding is 100% out of the question. He's been very accommodating about everything but this is something that's very important to him. So ladies, any of you had this dilemma? Was it difficult to get married at a Catholic church to someone who isn't Catholic (Lutheran in this case)? Any insights would be greatly appreciated..
TIA

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

anybody?

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

My DH is Episcopal and I'm Catholic. We got married in a Catholic church with no problems at all. All we had to do was sign a form and get it approved by the diocese.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

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Posted by Lsorrent

My DH is Episcopal and I'm Catholic. We got married in a Catholic church with no problems at all. All we had to do was sign a form and get it approved by the diocese.

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Thanks that;'s certainly encouraging. Did they ask you to raise your kids Catholic?

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

My FH is Jewish. We have had absolutely NO problems.

The only requirements were

1) The priest had to be the main officiant (we are having a rabbi as well, but you won't need two priests, so this won't apply)

2) We had to go to Pre-Cana, which was actually awesome. We did an interfaith version, but since you're both Christian the regualr Catholic one would probably be fine.The differences are not great.

3) We had to fill out a disparity of worship dispensation from the bishop. This is where the famous 'I promise to raise my kids catholic' thing comes in. The wording is actually pretty vague, and says something like 'everything in my power' and my priest explained it as it might be that what's in your power is to discuss it with your spouse and you come to a different decision.

Overall, it's actually been pretty easy and I think it will be even easier since you're both christian. HTH

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

My husband and I initially intended on marrying in my church. I am catholic he was baptized catholic but recieved all other sacraments as a Lutheran They had no problem marrying us in the church but they do have you sign a paper that says you intend on raising your kids as catholics.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

U need to get approve thouh i guess.... but our Church Wont allow it...
I am Catholic... in order for FH to get marry with me he had to get his Confirmation too... since he didnt do it when he was a littl boy...

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

It is my understanding that you have to agree to raise your kids Catholic to get married in a Catholic chur ch. I think you will run into problems if you choose to have communion at the wedding. Both LCMS and Catholic don't believe in interfaith communion.

I am Lutheran but I'm an ELCA Lutheran. I went to an LCMS college and was in the Pre-Ministry program. It was quite an experience but if you have any more questions, i'm here.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

In my family, we were all raised Lutheran. BUT. . .when my brother was born, my parents were going to a catholic church at the time (dad is catholic, mom is lutheran). So, he was the only one of us 4 that was baptized Catholic. He later received his communion and confirmation in the lutheran church.

Now, when he decided to get married, this kind of worked in his favor because i think he only had to show his baptizimal certificate, which showed he was catholic, and they had to vow to the church that they would raise their kids catholic.

I'm not sure if this helps

But you should be able to get married in the church, and when the time comes to have babies then you can decide what's best to raise them.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

Thank you sooo much ladies!!
We don't want to have communion at the wedding to avoid confusion and because I think it would be unfair for him not to be able to receive communion at his own wedding! I rather not complicate things by having communion.

I didn't know about the issue with communion until recently. I took communion at his church once and now I'm all consious. That was a month or so ago and we haven't gone back to his church since due to hectic schedules but I'm almost afraid to go back! His pastor didnt' know what religion I was, I think he assumed I was Lutheran because he encouraged me to take communion a few times before.

Now they know I'm Catholic because FH told them we're planning to marry at a Catholic church. I think his LMCS church is very modern, to me they seem more ELCA than LCMS, but that's me as an outsider and only judging from what I can see. Also they have two pastors and the younger pastor is much more modern than the older one. That's why I was confused about the whole communion issue.

I'll call the catholic church today to see what they have to say. I'll keep you posted.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

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Posted by PeaceLoveWedding

It is my understanding that you have to agree to raise your kids Catholic to get married in a Catholic chur ch. I think you will run into problems if you choose to have communion at the wedding. Both LCMS and Catholic don't believe in interfaith communion.

I am Lutheran but I'm an ELCA Lutheran. I went to an LCMS college and was in the Pre-Ministry program. It was quite an experience but if you have any more questions, i'm here.

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Thanks! I do have a ton of questions. I'm sending you FM if you don't mind....
thanks again.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

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Posted by gf1025

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Posted by PeaceLoveWedding

It is my understanding that you have to agree to raise your kids Catholic to get married in a Catholic chur ch. I think you will run into problems if you choose to have communion at the wedding. Both LCMS and Catholic don't believe in interfaith communion.

I am Lutheran but I'm an ELCA Lutheran. I went to an LCMS college and was in the Pre-Ministry program. It was quite an experience but if you have any more questions, i'm here.

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Thanks! I do have a ton of questions. I'm sending you FM if you don't mind....
thanks again.

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Of course not, i'm going to work now so whatever I can't answer, i'll ask my boss. He's an ELCA pastor.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

My fh is lutheran, I am Catholic and we are getting married at my catholic church. We are having no problems getting married, although we did have to fill out more paperwork and were questioned more. However, they would not marry us unless we were raising our children Catholic, but that wasn't a problem for us bc we are.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

Generally, unless you're both Catholic, they would not do a mass anyway, so I think you're ok on that front.


It depends on the priest, but like I said, the form says 'everything in your power', what's in your power is up to you. My priest just made sure we both understood it but it was really left open for us to make our own decision in our marriage.

ETA- A Catholic would never take communion at a Protestant church nor vice versa because we fundamentally disagree about what the communion actually is.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

it's such a can of worms for me to be honest with ya'll!
If the Catholic church only wants me to agree to do what's in my power. Then I'm OK with that.
Otherwise, we might end up marrying at a Lutheran Church and doing the paperwork to get it recognized by the Catholic church.
I don't want to lie. Sometimes I wish we just did a civil marriage.
Why does everything have to be so hard

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

ok, my situation is a little different but not really....

FH is catholic, I am Lutheran. We are getting married in my Lutheran Church in Minnesota and then we are coming back to New York and doing a marriage service here. They did not give us a hard time about being different religions, the only thing we have to work around is the fact that we will already be married in a lutheran church, but we jsut had to fill out some paper work and we are good to go......

Check into it, they shouldn't be that difficult. They have not once asked me if I am converting to Catholic.

Re: Lutheran (LCMS) & Catholic interfaith marriage, the church dilemma!

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Posted by kjzimpel

ok, my situation is a little different but not really....

FH is catholic, I am Lutheran. We are getting married in my Lutheran Church in Minnesota and then we are coming back to New York and doing a marriage service here. They did not give us a hard time about being different religions, the only thing we have to work around is the fact that we will already be married in a lutheran church, but we jsut had to fill out some paper work and we are good to go......

Check into it, they shouldn't be that difficult. They have not once asked me if I am converting to Catholic.

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Wait, you're getting married at a Lutheran Church first, the coming to NY and getting married at a catholic church? I didn't know you could do both
Being totally honest with you. I would love to do both!
How far apart at the two services?