awkward situation

My MOH never gave us a wedding gift..or even a card.

We noticed the day after the wedding but just assumed she forgot. When we got back from our HM, she said to me on the phone 'Oh I have your card in my car.'

The next day when we were talking I mentioned (I have no idea how it came up) how I heard people have a year to give a gift and we have a year to write thank you's (I think we were talking about how long it would take to get the thank you's). And she said 'Oh good, I have a year to give a gift.'

The wedding was a month and a half ago and she hasnt said anything since.

I'm not trying to be greedy...I don't expect people to give us gifts. But honestly, from my best friend/MOH I was hoping for at least a card!!!!

Its just so awkward to say anything and DH keeps asking me about it....

Re: awkward situation

That is soooo odd. Has she mentioned before your wedding being low on cash? I don't have any advice as I wouldn't know what to do!

Re: awkward situation

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Posted by miamimerger

That is soooo odd. Has she mentioned before your wedding being low on cash? I don't have any advice as I wouldn't know what to do!

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As far being low on cash- no. She has a full time job and lives at home her parents (doesnt pay rent).

The thing is...I would just at least love to get a CARD! How do you not give a card?

Re: awkward situation

yeah my MIL didnt give a gift until 3 months later!!

and it wasnt even a great gift so its like you are going to wait that long whats the point!

Re: awkward situation

Wow-that’s super awkward. I would be upset if I didn’t at least get a card from my bestie too. And you’re in a weird position because if you ask her about it, it’s like you want the $$...but if you don’t ask her, it’s gonna be on your mind. Sorry mama!!

Re: awkward situation

Thats a very awkward situation. I completely understand why its so upsetting. If you can't afford a gift, atleast give a card.

I had a similar issue with someone who was suppose to be my 'best friend'. Her no-gift was the least of my worries, after she missed her reading at Church for our ceremony. The lack of gift was just the icing on the cake that day.
P.S. She has not even tried to apologize. The last time I spoke to her was when she was crying right before the reception started & wanted to discuss then why she missed her reading.

Re: awkward situation

one of my bms (my half sister) didn't give us anything... not even a card and didn't say anything either! and one of our gms (the one who lived with us until like 2 weeks AFTER the wedding) said he left our card in his backpack in the bridal suite and would put it in the cardbox later, never did. mentioned it after the wedding, never gave it to us. we still don't have it.

i'm sure she'll remember when you send out the thank yous but it still sucks!

Re: awkward situation

I wouldnt say anything... A few people have said to me that they have a card for me... and have yet to give it to me... my MOH (sister) included... but its happened to me where i keep forgetting to give the person the card... i always eventually do...

Re: awkward situation

Is there someone you can ask...like another friend to see if they know whats up?

I had a similar situation with my cousin's wife and had to ask my aunt about it to see what was going on without directly asking my cousins wife.

Re: awkward situation

yeah we didn't get a card or anything from MIL and SFIL. we also didn't get a gift from someone who keeps saying they have a gift for us... and who i KNOW has gone to weddings since mine and given gifts. like really, don't lie

so i completely understand your frustration...

Re: awkward situation

I don't understand people - when you go to a wedding or a party you BRING a gift!!!!

Yesterday I got a fb message from my cousin (she was a BM) asking me why I did not cash her check and that it has been a month - I never got a card from her, but there was a wedding card in the bridal suite that nothing was written in and she is the only person we were missing a card from - other people that forgot their cards mailed them when we were on our HM.

Re: awkward situation

I still don't get how people can forget 2, 3 times to give you a gift they supposdly have. Unless they never planned on giving you one to begin with. If you can't afford it, personally I think it's rude to go and give nothing, unless you asked before hand and was told you didn't have to give one. We didn't get anything from one of my husband's coworkers. He mentioned it and got a 'oh I forgot it, give it to you at work on Monday'. 3 months later and nothing. I think this is beyond rude and tacky. Because of this, his other coworkers whose weddings are coming up, they are not inviting this guy to their weddings. I wouldn't mention it again and I think it's kind of crappy on her part..

Re: awkward situation

I was in the EXACT same situation. Our best man never gave a gift then said 'o its in my car', well about four or five months later we got it. It was a little weird but I just had to let it go.

Re: awkward situation

We have a similar situation, someone VERY close to us (in the wedding party) gave us a card at both the E-party & Wedding saying the gift was being shipped directly to us. Never received ANYTHING. Its a tough situation and I agree its not about the actual gift, its about the fact you just don't do that!!!!

I'm sorry you are dealing w/this but I have heard this happens to EVERYONE!!! I don't have any advice per say b/c I'm not even sure how to handle my situation. I will tell you what I think I am going to do. When its time for thank yous to go out, I will send one to this person and just go on about how supportive they were, etc and never mention anything about the gift. If they question it then, I can let the person know I never received anything.

HTH!!!!

Re: awkward situation

Our MOH never gave us a shower gift or a wedding gift.

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We had the same situation with some of our guest at least 4 peoplle have yet to give gifts.

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My MOH didn't either, but she gave a toast so I never really thought about it.

My wedding cost her enough money... I didn't need a card from her when I have her toast on video and all.

She did get me a coach bag for a shower present that's gorgeous and I get compliments on all the time.

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My MOH didn't give us anything extra sentimental. Just a monetary gift enough to cover hers and her DHs plates.

Our BM and GM though (married couple) never gave a card or a gift. I understand that it can be costly to be in a wedding party and they did have to travel far. But a card would have been nice. I believe she did say that they forgot our card at home.

Our other friends, again, travelled from out of state, said that our gift was on backorder. Well it's been a year and we haven't gotten anything from them either.

DH's uncle verbally said how he is such a jerk and left the card at home. We never got anything from him either.

On another note, the BM mentioned above from out of state left her wallet with her DH the night before the wedding. She slept over my parents house with me. Then she realized she didn't have any cash to cover her hair (Makeup was on me but I made it clear they had to pay for their own hair). So she asked if we could pay for her hair until she got her wallet back and then she would pay my mom back. Yeah, she still owes my mom $70.

But I've got enough issues with them as it is. I'm not even going to bring it up.

Re: awkward situation

i wouldn't say anything... DH's best friend didn't even give us a card and FIL wrote us a check and then asked for half of it back because he said he didnt have enough $ in his checking account to cover it... we just didn't say anything, maybe they'll send it in the future..

Re: awkward situation

DH's entire family didn't give us a gift or a card - his brother was the Best Man and his two sisters were my BM's. His parents didn't give us a gift or a card, and multiple aunts and uncles didn't give us anything. We didn't say a word... We just let it go and thanked them for attending...