Curious what you would do....

I invited a friend and her fiance to my wedding last July. They attended the wedding, gave a gift, etc.

We weren't extremely close, more like in the same circle of friends but I invited her to my shower, etc. We were both in a wedding in October, planned the bachelorette party together, and hung out and talked a lot over gchat at that time but we were never 'phone' friends.

Late last year she started ignoring my gchats and she never responded to the invite for my birthday in October. For the first time in years, I wasn't invited to her birthday celebration in March. So I started getting the feeling we weren't invited to the wedding and I was right.

She got married last weekend. It wasn't a small wedding, probably 200 people. Oh, and money is not an issue. I was offended that we didn't get invited and that she NEVER said anything to me like that they were having a small wedding, etc. DH was happy we weren't invited since we a. didn't have to travel to her wedding in South Jersey and b. we didn't have to give a gift.

Would you a) congratulate her on her facebook wall b) say something at all the next time you see her? I'm going to see her soon and I'm not sure how I feel about her. If she knew she wasn't inviting me to her wedding, why did she come to mine?

Re: Curious what you would do....

i dont know how id feel. annoyed, yes. but i would probably be the bigger person and congratulate her on FB. and do the whole small talk thing.

its not like you are real friends...and its not like you are NOT friends either...its kind of that limbo thing in between

dont let it stress you. thankfully they gave a gift when they attended yours.

Re: Curious what you would do....

B! Because I would love to see the look on her face when she tries to explain that one!

Re: Curious what you would do....

B.... just cause I'd want to see if it even makes her uncomfortable to talk about it.

Re: Curious what you would do....

i would congratulate her ... but only because you're going to see her again in the future and it'll kind of clear the air and make it less awkward.

i'd be a little annoyed if i wasn't invited too, btw.

Re: Curious what you would do....

A&B

Re: Curious what you would do....

I probably just wouldn't say anything at all. Are you going to be seeing her in person anytime soon?

Re: Curious what you would do....

Hmmm I'd probably do A & B cause it sounds like she won't react to it at all. My guess would be if you said something on facebook she's going to ignore that too. And when you see her I don't think she's going to seek you out either. So when you do bump into her you could just say congratulations and she'd drop the subject anyways.

Re: Curious what you would do....

EEK - I don't know what I would do...

I just saw someone last weekend who was a no-show at my wedding for the first time since before my wedding. She is DH's friend's girlfriend. They had a fight the night before our wedding and she didn't come. She un-friended me, DH and a few other mutual friends from facebook and I pretty much wrote her off.

When I saw her last weekend (first time in 8 months), I barely said hello and goodbye and did not make eye contact with her, period.

This would probably be my same approach in your situation... avoid, avoid, avoid, until she has the nerve to say something to you.

Re: Curious what you would do....

There are other friends that also expected invites and didn't get them but neither of them are married yet so its not like they invited her to their wedding and she didn't reciprocate....I guess she thought if she had to invite me, she had to invite them? Well Its going to be awkward for all of us when we hang out again soon!

I am attending a birthday brunch for one of our other friends and pretty sure she'll be there so I'm definitely going to see her soon.

I think I'm avoiding commenting on facebook ---don't even feel like commenting that she looks pretty, etc.

Thanks for responses!

Re: Curious what you would do....

ughh do NOT ask her why u werent invited

just say congrats and talk about everything BUT weddings. make her feel like u arent bothered by not getting an invite. dont make her feel that her wedding was more important than it reallly was lol


who the heck wants to travel to jersey, let alone SOUTH jersey. blechhh

Re: Curious what you would do....

if youre going to be with a group of friends i would pretend like she wasnt even there. ignore her
if she comes up to you to say hi
say hi back but dont congratulate her.
just cause shes married doesnt mean you need to forget about her being a friggin biitch to you by ignoring you

Re: Curious what you would do....

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Posted by little j

i dont know how id feel. annoyed, yes. but i would probably be the bigger person and congratulate her on FB. and do the whole small talk thing.

its not like you are real friends...and its not like you are NOT friends either...its kind of that limbo thing in between

dont let it stress you. thankfully they gave a gift when they attended yours.

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This.

Re: Curious what you would do....

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Posted by Rosalind_75

if youre going to be with a group of friends i would pretend like she wasnt even there. ignore her
if she comes up to you to say hi
say hi back but dont congratulate her.
just cause shes married doesnt mean you need to forget about her being a friggin biitch to you by ignoring you

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ITA. Since you HAVE to see her, I'd act like it's no big thing. Don't even congratulate her or mention it and if someone says something about her wedding pretend like you didn't even know 'Oh! You got married? How nice for you.'
Edited for typos.