Do people expect thank you cards...

if they didn't give you a gift? We had about 40-50 people who didn't give us gifts. Do you think that they expect a 'Thank you for coming' card? It never even occurred to me until something I just read on LIF, but now I'm wondering.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

you're technically supposed to give a thank you card to everyone.

that said, i probably would not write a thank you card to those who didn't gift me.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

one of DH's friends did not even give us a card... we did not send him a thank you.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

you should still thank them just say thanks for sharing in our special day...

40-50 people is an insane amount of missing gifts...

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

IMO...

You thank people for attending your wedding.

End of story.

ETA: I will get flamed for this but here goes...

You have your wedding without ANY expectation of cards, gifts, etc. It is not a fundraiser. Yes, people suck and don't give a gift or a card, but I think it is tacky to then NOT even thank them for attending your special day. It is supposed to be about people sharing in your union, having a good time with the people you love and care about. It is not about who didn't give a gift or a card.

I need more people on my level...everyone is sooo concerned with keeping track of who gave this, who didn't give this.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

I'll be sending everyone a thank you card. Even the cheap-os. Though the message will be different. 'Thanks for coming' rather than 'Thanks for your generous gift.'

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

woah! 40-50 people?!?!


we sent thank you's to everyone...even the non-gifters. It just said 'thank you for sharing in our special day'

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

you should send them a thank you for coming. you invited them, no strings attached.
40-50 ppl is a lot of ppl to not send gifts. why was that?

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

If they came to your wedding without a gift of any sort, I tend to think they are from another planet and probably don't even know what thank you cards are...so I wouldn't waste 40-50 thank you cards, ink, and time if I were you.

BTW..that is a lot!

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

Thanks everyone! It seems like most people think I should send the thank yous. Now I just gotta psyche myself up. I totally agree that I invited people with no strings attached, and I really have no problem with the people who didn't bring gifts. It's totally optional in my opinion. Lots of people seemed horrified by that number, but it really wasn't a big deal in my mind. I just had always thought of thank you notes as being for gifts (like when we were little, I'm pretty sure I only wrote thank you notes to people who gave me gifts for my birthday...not everyone who came to my party...but maybe I'm remembering wrong).

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

Send them a thank you card for sharing in your day. =)

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

IMO...

You thank people for attending your wedding.

End of story.

ETA: I will get flamed for this but here goes...

You have your wedding without ANY expectation of cards, gifts, etc. It is not a fundraiser. Yes, people suck and don't give a gift or a card, but I think it is tacky to then NOT even thank them for attending your special day. It is supposed to be about people sharing in your union, having a good time with the people you love and care about. It is not about who didn't give a gift or a card.

I need more people on my level...everyone is sooo concerned with keeping track of who gave this, who didn't give this.

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I'm 150% with you on this one.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

It is proper etiquette that you send a thank you card to everyone who attended. Gift or no gift.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

IMO...

You thank people for attending your wedding.

End of story.

ETA: I will get flamed for this but here goes...

You have your wedding without ANY expectation of cards, gifts, etc. It is not a fundraiser. Yes, people suck and don't give a gift or a card, but I think it is tacky to then NOT even thank them for attending your special day. It is supposed to be about people sharing in your union, having a good time with the people you love and care about. It is not about who didn't give a gift or a card.

I need more people on my level...everyone is sooo concerned with keeping track of who gave this, who didn't give this.

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Couldn't agree more.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

I didn't send thank you cards to anyone who didn't give a gift and if I was a guest I don't think I'd expect one.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

IMO...

You thank people for attending your wedding.

End of story.

ETA: I will get flamed for this but here goes...

You have your wedding without ANY expectation of cards, gifts, etc. It is not a fundraiser. Yes, people suck and don't give a gift or a card, but I think it is tacky to then NOT even thank them for attending your special day. It is supposed to be about people sharing in your union, having a good time with the people you love and care about. It is not about who didn't give a gift or a card.

I need more people on my level...everyone is sooo concerned with keeping track of who gave this, who didn't give this.

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i agree....to an extent....

1 - they should at least give a card with a nice note.

2 - isnt the favor the 'thank you for coming'...why do they really need another card??

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

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Posted by es2189

Thanks everyone! It seems like most people think I should send the thank yous. Now I just gotta psyche myself up. I totally agree that I invited people with no strings attached, and I really have no problem with the people who didn't bring gifts. It's totally optional in my opinion. Lots of people seemed horrified by that number, but it really wasn't a big deal in my mind. I just had always thought of thank you notes as being for gifts (like when we were little, I'm pretty sure I only wrote thank you notes to people who gave me gifts for my birthday...not everyone who came to my party...but maybe I'm remembering wrong).

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i think different ppl think of this differently. my friend just got married down south and she is only sending TY cards to those that gave gifts. when i mentioned the idea of sending to those that came too, the concept seemed very strange/foreign

so in terms of what people's expectations are...idk...guess its what they are used to

but it doesnt HURT to be extra nice

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

I sent a thank you to everyone who attended our wedding, including those who non-gifted us. It is polite and common courtesy to thank someone for sharing in your special day.

(It's also polite and common courtesy to at LEAST bring a card, but I can't vouch for other people - just me.)

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

That is a very large amount of people who showed without gifts. I did have certain family members who asked to bring extra guests (we said okay) and didn't even give a card or say a word to me or DH, so I'm sorry but I will not be sending them thank you cards to them.

I will send cards to other guests who did not give gifts but I do not plan to write anything, their cards will just have the printed 'thank you for sharing in our day.' I will only write in the cards of people who gave gifts.

Re: Do people expect thank you cards...

If we didnt get a gift we wrote a thank you for coming card.