How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

So I know someone who continually since I've been married gives her opinion and judgement on things that I don't ask her for. At this point, we have very little in common. I realized this a while back and perhaps planned on maybe letting the frienship drift off eventually. So the past 3 times I have seen her she says and asks the same thing over and over. 'Oh so you're not planning on having kids right away, right'. Then when I inform her we are, I get 'oh wow Lau, you're going to waste all that money on graduate school for nothing'. She has made this comment several times out of nowhere. Again, that is HER opinion on what a waste is. So each time I have to say 'well to me a master's degree isn't a waste, it's education'. Then I get 'oh you're not trying to get pregnant now are you, because I was gonna say'. The first time I saw her after the wedding, she sat bascially interviewing us like 'oh so what is your timeline to have kids'? Huh. Then she started telling my husband when he mentioned we may move out of state 'oh you don't want to move away from your family. How are you going to do that?' But maybe she wouldn't, be we would. The best was when I told her we were trying within the year I got 'oh are you sure you're ready for a child?' Like implying I'm not. I wanted to tell her to please shut up at that point. How would you react to the constant opinions?

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

Stop giving her fodder to work with - just be noncommittal about anything you don't want her opinion on.

If that doesn't work, tell her to STFU.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

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Posted by julesrbf

Stop giving her fodder to work with - just be noncommittal about anything you don't want her opinion on.

If that doesn't work, tell her to STFU.

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But she's the ones asking these questions over and over. Do I just sit there and not answer lol.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

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Posted by julesrbf

Stop giving her fodder to work with - just be noncommittal about anything you don't want her opinion on.

If that doesn't work, tell her to STFU.

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But she's the ones asking these questions over and over. Do I just sit there and not answer lol.

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Well, what I mean is when she asks you 'when are you having kids?' just give a vague, noncommittal answer ... 'Oh ... I dunno ... someday ... one day in the future ... ' etc. Don't give her the opportunity to give her opinion on your life plans by not telling her what your life plans are!

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

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Posted by julesrbf

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

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Posted by julesrbf

Stop giving her fodder to work with - just be noncommittal about anything you don't want her opinion on.

If that doesn't work, tell her to STFU.

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But she's the ones asking these questions over and over. Do I just sit there and not answer lol.

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Well, what I mean is when she asks you 'when are you having kids?' just give a vague, noncommittal answer ... 'Oh ... I dunno ... someday ... one day in the future ... ' etc. Don't give her the opportunity to give her opinion on your life plans by not telling her what your life plans are!

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Yeah I agree! It will drive her nuts and will give you the way out of hearing her opinions!

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

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Posted by julesrbf

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

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Posted by julesrbf

Stop giving her fodder to work with - just be noncommittal about anything you don't want her opinion on.

If that doesn't work, tell her to STFU.

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But she's the ones asking these questions over and over. Do I just sit there and not answer lol.

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Well, what I mean is when she asks you 'when are you having kids?' just give a vague, noncommittal answer ... 'Oh ... I dunno ... someday ... one day in the future ... ' etc. Don't give her the opportunity to give her opinion on your life plans by not telling her what your life plans are!

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ITA~~I have someone like this in my life and I've just stopped telling her stuff. And when she asks, I'm as vague as you can get.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

Is she married? Does she have kids?

If not, ask her when she's getting married? When is she having kids? And watch her squirm.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

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Posted by jilliibabii

Is she married? Does she have kids?

If not, ask her when she's getting married? When is she having kids? And watch her squirm.

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I agree....I wouldn't answer and just start asking her questions.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

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Posted by AugustBridein09

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Posted by jilliibabii

Is she married? Does she have kids?

If not, ask her when she's getting married? When is she having kids? And watch her squirm.

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I agree....I wouldn't answer and just start asking her questions.

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Yup.
And once, I read in a Dear Abby column that when someone asks something inappropriate, smile sweetly at them and ask them...'why do you want to know?' It works..I've done it when someone in DH's family asked me what my salary was (). Mmmhmm. They had NO answer whatsoever...because the answer to the question would've really been 'because I'm nosy'.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

Honestly i think she just doesnt want you to have a kid before she does. I swear when people ar elike its usually for selfish reasons NOT because she is truly concerned about you (and i use this term very loosely) 'wasting' your education.

If this persists call her out. If she is so bold to be all up in your biz be bold back & just say Why so & so are you concerned ill have a child before u??

If you think thats not the reason i would still just call her out on it! Tell her to worry about her own life & that you ar emore then perfectly happy & ecstatic with your own. Also let her know that you will no longer talk with her about this.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

tell her she gets no rebuttal after you answer.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

Let it roll off your shoulders unless she continually does it. More and more people will probably give you advice about many things. Now that I'm pregnant, people are giving me advice on whether or not to breast feed...I don't think unasked opinions will ever stop! Tell her it's none of her business.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

i think if your willing to continue to be her friend and she gives you these rude opinions just tell her straight how you feel. bc if you dont say something to let her know how your feeling, your gonna keep it inside and just get resentful and destroy a decent friendship that you may have with her.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

i would just invade her personal life and ask the rudest thing i could think of..

be like wow ur in a mood when is the last time u got some

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

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Posted by VickiR510

Honestly i think she just doesnt want you to have a kid before she does. I swear when people ar elike its usually for selfish reasons NOT because she is truly concerned about you (and i use this term very loosely) 'wasting' your education.

If this persists call her out. If she is so bold to be all up in your biz be bold back & just say Why so & so are you concerned ill have a child before u??

If you think thats not the reason i would still just call her out on it! Tell her to worry about her own life & that you ar emore then perfectly happy & ecstatic with your own. Also let her know that you will no longer talk with her about this.

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She has no boyfriend, husband, doesn't date so I don't think she's having a child anytime soon lol. I know it's bc, well she is really, really nosy, and it got worst with age. Like most of you have said, I give usually very vague answers and don't share super personal things with her. But I guess when you get asked repeatedly, like with this specific topic, you brake lol.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

I would really just call her out...something like 'Don't we have this conversation EVERY TIME we're together?? I answered you already, why do you keep bringing it up??'

I'm allergic to BS though, so I try to get that stuff out of the way.

Re: How would you react to constant unasked for opinions?

IMO, I wouldn't ask her questions back, because all she's going to think is that you have the flood gates open and your friendship has gone to the next level (she's going to think that you actually give a shlt)

Maybe I'm a biot ch, but I'm pretty direct. By this point I'd be saying to her 'yeah, you know it's really a matter that (DH) and I discuss on our own' or I'd sort of halfway joke and say 'when 2 cents is wanted from the peanut gallery, I'll let you know'

or if you're really nervy...
'Opinions are like @ssh0les'