Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

So we hear ALL about DH's cousin wedding plans from his mother and how aunts cannot wait to see Molly...and then MIL shows me a beautiful STD card and magnet...hum...looks familiar , but anyway, we don't get one What the heck? And the best part is the wedding is in Canada and all of the travel info is on the STD card. So I say to DH, maybe (secretly wishing) we are not being invited. So DH calls his mom and mentions that we never got a card and we have NO travel info for this wedding, maybe we are not invited. MIL calls her sister and confirms that we are invited. Are these people raised by wolves? How do they expect me to make reservations at the hotel if I don't have the info. We live in NY....MIL is in MA. Why don't they send STD cards to all their invited guests. Is MIL suppose to call me with info and I am suppose to guess it?

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

Hmmm...that's definitely odd...and I'd be pi$$ed too!

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

You shouldn't have said anything, and you wouldn't of had to go! lol

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

I would too. Sounds like you were put on a 'B' list or something.

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

FM Michele...

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

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Posted by Diane

I would too. Sounds like you were put on a 'B' list or something.

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I was going to say the same thing!!

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

Well, I never sent STD cards to anyone. Maybe they were on a limited budget, or ran out of them. Maybe they figured your MIL would relay the info to you guys.

Hopefully they'll put all the travel info in the invitation as well. And if the hotels are booked, oh well. . . .

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

that is kind of odd. isn't the original purpose of STD's to give people enough time to make plans for long-distance weddings???????

as for assuming your MIL would give you the info - you and scott are adults. you should not have to rely on someone else for the information. you definitely should have gotten your own STD.

are you guys going to the wedding? i have never been to canada - can you make a mini-vacation out of it?

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

When I had my wedding (overseas) I made sure that every single person that I invited had STD cards along with our website info. (which had ton's of Italy info., suggested hotels, etc....).

I also followed up with OOT packets with language guides, info. on walking tours, specialty stores, wine etc....

When you are asking people to travel to another COUNTRY to be a guest at your wedding, you should make sure that they are armed with ALL THE INFORMATION POSSIBLE....

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

This is an example of someone who is a very poor organizer, also very socially unaware.

That is extremely ridiculous.

Since this is family it is tricky how this should be handled. I suggest letting Scott make the call on this one. Maybe he can talk to MIL and get the info.

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

Maybe since you are family they figured you would get the information from someone? It's weird especially since the wedding is in Canada.

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

That is odd - it's one thing to not send STDs at all but to send them to only a few is asking for trouble!

This was the exact reason I changed my mind about sending ours out and just handed the magnets out to close friends and family at the holidays....

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

If that were to happen to me, I would not go. I would consider that a pretty clear 'you are on the B list' message. Being on the B list is perfectly fine.... but if Im not close enough to the couple to be on the A list, im not spending a fortune and my time to attend a wedding in another country.

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

I thought B lists really pertain to invitations?

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

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Posted by ChristineC68

I thought B lists really pertain to invitations?

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Christine- I thought so too as well.

My infamous friend whose wedding we are going to in the carribean, had an A & b list for her STD'S. She wanted responses from us ASAP as to what our plans were so she could decide when to send out the B list of STD'S.

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

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Posted by nrvbrd

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Posted by ChristineC68

I thought B lists really pertain to invitations?

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Christine- I thought so too as well.

My infamous friend whose wedding we are going to in the carribean, had an A & b list for her STD'S. She wanted responses from us ASAP as to what our plans were so she could decide when to send out the B list of STD'S.

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That's weird - if she needed an answer she should have sent the invites early. You know the craziest people

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

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Posted by ChristineC68

That's weird - if she needed an answer she should have sent the invites early. You know the craziest people

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That is so true, but I always get blasted for being too critical. As I say some people do not make it easy

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

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Posted by ChristineC68

I thought B lists really pertain to invitations?

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Yeah, but (to me at least) a STD is kind of like a shower invitation, where you will send one to people who are definitely invited to the wedding, but you don't send one to people who aren't invited (or are B list). You know, you can't very well send an STD to someone, then not send an invitaition. What if the whole A list responds with a yes, doubtful I know, but then you have no room to invite the B list people.

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

I know we are not on a B list though. All of the cousins are being invited and none of Scott's sisters/brother got a STD either. They honestly think sending one to his mother is enough. But since we are adults, living in another State I think it is a bit stupid and cheap. I know this because when I sent my STD cards and my invites my MIL said, 'Why not just send one to my sister and she can pass it along' Holy Cow people....

If I don't get an invite to our home, then we will not attend. I refused to attend a wedding where they send one invite to his mom with all of the names on it.
And get this, the couple is from New Hampshire. The grooms mom is from Canada and they can get married for less money in Canada so they are making ALL of the guests travel. Raised by wolves I tell you!

Re: Thoughts on NOT getting a Save the Date card but being invited to the wedding?

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Posted by michele31

The grooms mom is from Canada and they can get married for less money in Canada so they are making ALL of the guests travel.

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Then be sure to give your gift in Canadian currency.