Please...I need a favor...With regards to your INLAWS

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

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Posted by Kris

My inlaws were miserable at my wedding, and then when we had Thanksgiving Dinner at my MIL's house- 1 day after our honeymoon, not one person said they had a nice time at OUR wedding, but I DID get to hear about my SIL's wedding 15 YEARS prior. UGH.

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Not one of my inlaws said anything about my wedding!!

here are the pictures I promised!

My MIL is visiting right now My husband and I moved to Miami after the wedding for a lot of reasons, but one of my reasons was her. He is the only son and has 4 sisters so you can imagine. She got very competitive with me after we got engaged and worst before the wedding, she wanted a lot of things her way and she still does, she doesn't understand how we both want to be alone and do uor stuff, and specially how if you are the mother of the groom,(and it sounds bad) you don't have much role in the wedding or after. All of sudden, after living in NY for 30 years, she is looking to buy or rent here in Miami.

My FMIL did not want us to have a big wedding. She wanted us to have our reception at the Moose Club and get married in FI's church in LI because since I live in Brooklyn and wanted to get married at my church, she did not think anyone from FI's family would come to the church since they would have to drive. When we told her that we booked the Manor East in Massapequa, she told me that I picked that place to please her ILs (since FFIL's whole family lives in Massapequa Park). She has not asked about anything for the wedding but has but her two cents in about everything. She did not like the BMs dresses and did not like the idea that I did not bring her granddaughter (who is one of BMs) to pick out the dress but I made my sister (MOH) pick it out without any other BMs say.

When it came time for my shower, she really did not want to come because it was in Brooklyn. So FI told her that if she did not want to come than she could stay home. Also, she brought me stuff that I do not like and gave me a vacuum that she won as a raffle prize at a dinner.

Like I said, I can keep going.

My MIL hates me and I have absolutely no idea why b/c I am nicer to her than her own children are! She did not talk to me or my family on our wedding day and frowned in every picture.

For those who replied to this thread - 2 questions for you -

1. Doesn't it bother you?
2. Doesn't it bother DH?

It bothers me!

But as for my DH the only way he can handle it is to ignore that it ever happened!! This is the one thing that I don't like about my DH. He thinks I am asking him to choose between us. But all I want is for him to stand up to them or acknowledge that it happened!

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Posted by bobbsbride

But all I want is for him to stand up to them !

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That'll be the day.

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Posted by kpny622

1. Doesn't it bother you?
2. Doesn't it bother DH?

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It bothers me sometimes....then DH makes me feel better about it by setting me straight that these are HER insecurities and issues, not mine.


Then I think 'I'm the woman in his life now!'

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

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Posted by bobbsbride

But all I want is for him to stand up to them !

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That'll be the day.

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I know!! I would/do it for him with my family. Yet my family would never treat him like that!

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Posted by MrsTC

The only thing my ILs do which annoys me is call the house and leave messages on our answering machine..'Hi Tommy, it's Mom (or Dad)' - no mention of HI JEN!!

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stupid inconsiderations...

It bothers the both of us and we each came really close to 'writing off' a few members of our respective families.

Unfortunately we cannot change them, however we can choose/change how we deal with them.

ugh perfect timing because my 'evils' were just here this weekend. They blame me for taking their only son out of vermont...
when my mom called to congratualte them after we got engaged, his mom said to mine something to the tune of 'just so you know, we arent paying for this wedding' then his mom sent him an email the next day saying not i am happy for you but 'i am happy that you are happy'

they bribed FH to call of the wedding this past spring when he was up alone to visit...they told him they dont think i love him (THEY HAVE BARELY EVEN MADE AN EFFORT TO KNOW ME!) and that if he moved back to vt (without ME) that htey would send him to grad school (for a major that had he chosen for his undergrad they said they wouldnt pay for schooL!!!))

if you need more...i've got them! wow! this felt great to vent!

also FSIL...not so great either...

asked her to be a bridesmaid as a nice gesture (we ARE having all of my 4 siblings in the wedding)...because she lives far, i asked her over the phone...to which she replied with DEAD SILENCE and then...uh...sure....

she also is holding up ordering my bridesmaid dresses (YES i am getting married in FEBRUARY and YES i need to order them ASAP!!) she STILL hasnt gotten me her measurements and told her parents to tell me that she will 'get them to me when she gets them to me' because she is losing weight...HELLO...that is why you get ALTERATIONS!

I'm not sure that anyone likes their inlaws. They're not your parents but they kind of are in a weird way because you're tied to them because of your hubby. Families are different and when you try to mesh them together it never works.
My husband is lucky since he LOVES my mom (his mother in law) he's even closer with her than he is with his own parents. I guess sometimes it works but for th emost part, it doesn't! :

I THINK I WIN.

LETS SEE....
I have way to much to put... but I can start off With Mikes mother....Who when we got engaged (the day we got engaged went to IN LAWS house) said 'I already paid for my daughter's wedding I dont have to pay for anymore im done paying' Ok THANKS.... By the way she paid for the Reception and my SIL and BIL paid for EVERYTHING else. She doesn't think before she speaks. She hated NY and couldnt live here one more day she NEEDED to move to Florida and live in their condo. So she up and left everyone including her husband (who still lives here cause he can not retire) She wont get a job cause she says no one will hire her because she would want to come here for christmas well last christmas she stayed in Florida She came up for thanksgiving and told everyone we would celebrate Christmas the day after thanksgiving. We all told her She would get her gift mailed to her. We then sent her a card with a gift card in it she said 'why did you get me that I only want Jo-Ann's gift cards cause I don't need anything else' She is the only person I know who calls someone up and says I didnt get a card and a gift from u for my birthday/mothers day. She actually called my dh on her birthday from Florida and said 'I didnt get a gift from you.... What happened to it ' Who does that. Maybe if u lived here and didnt leave ure entire family (including ure husband who sends u 600.00 a month and pays ure bills) you would get the day of ure birthday. For my shower she knows I 'like' purple so she bought me everything purple from the 1.00 store. Like EVERYTHING SHE SAW including a 'leash' you put ure children on even if I had children I wouldn't use it. Mike said Mom do u know what this is and she said 'no but it's purple' THANK YOU JUST SHOWED EVERYONE HOW DUMB U ARE AND NOW THEY BELIEVE ME! BUT my all time favorite is what she pulled at the wedding.

She Said She bought a dress like 4 months before the wedding and told me it was periwinkle ok cool. Doesnt match my mom or my girls. Then 2 months before the wedding she says oh I bought the same dress in Lavander. WHY? I asked her not to wear it because she would match my girls Mike asked her not to wear it. She said fine. SOOOO 2 days before the wedding my SIL calls me and says 'my mom is wearing the dress' I said what she said 'ya I asked her I thought Kristin asked you not to wear the Lavendar dress?' and my wonderful MIL said while laughing 'what is Kristin gonna do make me leave not let me goto the ceremony' I can honestly tell you she ruined our relationship no the way to start off a relationship with a Daughter in Law. Then at the rehersal everyone is lined up at the church the way I want them to walk down the aisle. Grandma and Grandpa walk down then her and her husband. Well I all of a sudden see BIL (who is the first born and gets everything and can do nothing wrong) walking with them. I was like 'why is pete walking with them he is walking with my cousin no one is suppose to see him until then' She turns around and says 'cause she needs 2 escorts' UM Y she can walk fine. I was like No she doesnt and she gave me a nasty look and rolled her eyes listen B*tch you didnt pay its my day and its my way! Then she said well where does ure mother go. I said 'my mother and father are walking me down 'WELL she had a fit. 'she cant walk you down the aisle' I SAID ' EXCUSE ME SHE CAN DO ANYTHING SHE WANTS' She cried to my SIL about how she is losing her son ok HI U UP AND LEFT URE ENTIRE FAMILY INCLUDING URE HUSBAND AND KIDS AND GRANDCHILDREN AND U ARE LOSING URE SON UMMMM.... NO. I really dislike her to the point that i do thinks like mail everyone pictures but her which is bad but hey....

Then their are her parents. Her father who wont leave the house for anything and expects people to do things and Her mother who regifts BADLY.... like when I gave her a little snowman one year for christmas and the next year I went to my SIL and sitting under the tree was the little snowman. I was like 'did grandma give that to you' Ya why' 'Cause I gave it to her last year' LOL.... Then Every year for christmas I get a pocketbook that was hers. Ok its one thing to regift but dont give me something thats ures and used. One year I got a pocketbook I know it was hers. Then this past year I got This Pocketbook which is the ugliest thing I have ever seen in my life. It was Gold and Bronze Quilted (like the 80's pocketbook) and it had a gold chain with Black leather going through. I opened it up and it had all rips in the lining. I honestly would rather get nothing then that. Cause then I feel like Sh!t.

My BIL called me a fat f*cking hippo and then MIL cried because he wasnt asked to be the best man. ok HI U ARE LUCKY HE IS IN THE WEDDING HE!! U ARE LUCKY HE IS INVITED!!!!

OMG!!!!!

omg, if you want to know about my FILs just read my recent post about baby showers. I have so many posts about them. From the beginning it's been 'Why don't you break up for awhile and date other girls' 'you should never marry the first girl you have sex with, it's not really love, but you'll think it is (this was when we were like 17 and hadn't had sex)' I would nevert get invited to ANYTHING, and his cousin's 'gf' (we think he's really gay) gets invited to everything and I have to sit there and listen to them brag about how wonderful she is and they talk about stuff she was invited to and I wasn't and the ONLY person in the family who ever said I nice thing about me passed away recently (got rest her soul). I can't even begin to tell you all of the BS. FSIL and her husband (and now her MIL) MAKE UP fights that me and FH are having with them, when we havent talked to them at all and have no idea that they're even mad at us or why (there's never a real reason). FILs blame me for everything FH does and says that they don't like (b/c he never was allowed to have a mindof his own, and I taught him how to stand up for himself). FH bought me a little diamond heart ring for our 2 year anniversary several years back. When he showed it to FMIL, she YANKED it off my finger and 'tried it on' and said it was so perfect and that she wanted one just like it and didn't her son have wonderful taste. She even asked him where he bought and he told her they had none left. Recently I saw a cheaper version of the SAME two tone ring (no diamons though) on her pinky and I said 'oh that's a nice ring. My ring from FH is similar to that.' and she actually admitted 'I know, that's why I bought it.' Ummm....pardon me while I yack on your carpet....ugh. unbelieable. And oh my god, the EXCUSES these people make for not inviting me places. B/c I'm a vegetarian, because I have a big mouth, because we are going to steal the thunder from his cousin and his wonderful 'gf' who are going to announce their engagement (We're still waiting after 5 years. I'm lucky I didn't hold my breath for that one). And the best part is that I'm not supposed to take any of this personally because they treat everyone like $h!t. It's partialy true, FH's cousin won't talk to FH's dad because he called her a whore. Yep, he called his own niece a whore, and the other night he called FH a pr!ck. FH gets upset by it, but he's so used to taking their crap that he doesn't always fight back and he makes excuses. it literally makes me sick. *sigh*

for you ladies who are in the same miserable, sinking boat