but I need to know.. I know I cant expect it and I know its not set in stone, I know there are exceptions, but on average...
If I have 175 guests (100 invitations) how much do you think I will get back in cash after the fact? Im thinking I can keep the wedding at about $17,000. I need to know whats going to happen afterwards...
RedHead
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
Well i think that really depends on how generous your guests are! I know people who have invited more and got less!
amy&anthony
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
what do you mean invited more and got less? What is an average gift. I usually give $100 for myself. I hear its between $50 - $100 per person.. Is that about average.. As I said I am even embarrassed to ask, but I need to know... Im not sure if I should give up the JT or not.
julz33
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
We made way less than we spent, not including the gifts from our parents, grandparents, and 2 uncles. Including their gifts we actually mage $7K, but their gifts were beyond generous. Speaking of the regular guests, we averaged $100 a person.
milla
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
i think $100 per person is fair..but from what I have heard the average is $50-$100 ..and than there are people who give more..sometimes aunt/uncles/grandparents give larger gifts and that averages out the people who give smaller gifts
ckgmwedding
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
I would say 100 is about average but you always have some deadbeats, some who will regift, and even one who will give nothing. So I would figure- minimum of 8,000 and a maximum of 17000.
RedHead
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
Posted by amy&anthony
what do you mean invited more and got less? What is an average gift. I usually give $100 for myself. I hear its between $50 - $100 per person.. Is that about average.. As I said I am even embarrassed to ask, but I need to know... Im not sure if I should give up the JT or not.
Not everyon eis going to give as much as you expect or want them too! My friend got married at Leonards and invited 186 people...got 14,000!
So i really wouldn't bank on everyone giving 100 at my wedding i had two cousins (dates included) give 75! My BM gave me nothing..the expense for the trip here was all she could swing...
newnybride2be
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
My fh asked someone this question recently, because we are going to his best friend's wedding, and he was told that you should always atleast cover the cost of your plate. So I would figure btwn 50-100 bucks. But unfortunately not everyone attending can afford it, or if they can decide not to give it.
amy&anthony
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
Im just thinking Im lucky. If I am only paying $60/head and we are going cheap for everything else I should be o.k... The centerpieces I like would come to about $1,000, entertainment about $2,000... No extras - JT offers plenty.. Dress already paid for... invitations going with the cheaper ones LOL, table cameras and a photojournalism photographer only... then bridal gifts.. Is there anything else Im forgetting.. Oh yeah.. I think Im buying roses in bulk and doing our bouquets by ourselves...
stacie0877
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
I usually give $250.00 (me and FH) to friends/family. $200.00 to coworkers/acquaintances.
newnybride2be
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well if your doing your bo-ks yourself then why not make your own centerpieces and even invitations. Just think it could even be fun.
RedHead
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2000 entertainment? if that is a DJ you should be able to get a better price than that!!!
akaMrsT
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
Hmmmmm. I can honestly tell you, DO NOT depend on your guests gifts to pay for the wedding. If you cannot afford to pay for the wedding without their gifts don't obligate yourself. Not that your friend and family are not generous, but they do not have to give you anything. You are inviting them because you want to share your day with them not because of the gift you hope they will give. If they give you a gift, a card, a check - be grateful.
There are tons of wives/husbands on this site that can tell you they did not make 1/3 of what they spent. I am pretty sure that everyone you know who was married on Long Island will tell you the same thing - they did not make money off the wedding any many probably did not break even.
In planning for this I have spoken to and e-mailed everyone I know and even a male friend who I told I wanted to elope to avoid the $30K tab. He wrote:
-----Original Message----- From: Good Friend Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 11:28 AM Subject: RE: making sense...
While I agree with you on the elope scenario, in the long run you may wish you had the formal wedding with all the hoopla that goes with it (after all, that's all I ever heard from you).
I am sure you will work things out.
Just a thought on my part. I do agree with you 30k for a 6 hour party is one hell of a party! The sad part is ½ your guess don't give gifts that cover 1/3 of what you will spend.
Just be happy you have found someone you want to share your life with.
enjoy your day!
R
marymoon
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
A lot of weddings I've seen a lot of COUPLES gave $125, whch is what I would give on my own... that seemed to be pretty standard ar my sstr's wedding for a couple, it was either 125 or 200 or 250 per couple...most couples gave that, and I think the 125/couple were more than the 250/couple. You really can't count on getting any of it back. I know I'm definitely not.
JimmysBride
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
You have to realize that you'll probably have children (who won't give a $100 gift), maybe a couple of no-shows, vendors you'll have to fee that obviously won't be giving you a gift -- and all of that adds up. Even if everyone 'covers their plate', so to speak, the rest of the wedding expenses will unbalance everything out.
Think of it this way. The average wedding reception amounts to 40-60% of the total budget. I found this to be true in my case. So, at $60/head (let's just say that's including tax and tip though it's probably not) that would be $10,500 for the reception alone. At 60% of your budget, that would mean that your wedding total would be $17,500 and that you have $7000 more to come up with even if every single person at the reception comes and covers their plate exactly. But that never happens. Some give more, some give less. Some give group gifts that amount to alot less than $60/head.
Only if every single person gave exactly $100 would you be completely covered.
akaMrsT
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
I also had this conversation with a married friend a few weeks ago.
Her take was this:
Couples go out to dinner at say Olive Garden and spend at least $100 if they order alcohol and have an appetizer, salad, entree & dessert.....but they give $50 per couple at a wedding.
I wrote all that to stress that you cannot count on $100 per person as a gift.
akaMrsT
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
Posted by kdrainey
I also had this conversation with a married friend a few weeks ago.
Her take was this:
Couples go out to dinner at say Olive Garden and spend at least $100 if they order alcohol and have an appetizer, salad, entree & dessert.....but they give $50 per couple at a wedding.
I wrote all that to stress that you cannot count on $100 per person as a gift.
And one more unnerving story.........from the same friend who was a BM at a wedding.
A group of 5 people gave the couple a nice lead crystal picture frame. It was not something they registered for and there was no gift receipt so she could not return it. And get this - the discount store price label was still on the frame and it was $5.99. So basically this group of people gave the couple about $1 each.
marymoon
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OMG that's awful (the picture frame)....that's really bad..I thought my sister's BIL was bad
My brother in law's brother was his BM, he brought his wife, his 4 kids, and 2 of his kids brought dates, so that's EIGHT people, and they gave $230! I was like OMG..And he was the BEST man, the kids brought uninvited, unresponded for dates, and these people are not poor!
marymoon
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Re: O.k. this is a horrible question I know...
I also want to add that 'covering your plate' isn't the proper etiquette and guests are not required or expected to give that. Some people use it as a guideline, but gifts are supposed to depend on how close you are with the couple and how much you care about them, not where they have their wedding. Otherwise it would be really rude to have your weding at a really expensive place because that would mean they'd have to give more $$. Places like Russo's can near $200 p/p, and it's perfectly fine and awesome and fun to have your wedding there, or Oheka, or sandcastle, or any number of 'expensive' places, but think about it, if the etiquette were to coever your plate, it would be SUCH an imposition. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, or that anyone who has a wedding with a high per plate charge (heck, mine is a lot), but I'm pointing out why the 'cover your plate' thing is inherently flawed. Just have a good time and a aprty you can afford, and if people give you gifts, let it be a happy surprise
