New BTB Vs. Newlyweds.....

Okay i have been on these boards just about a year and before that i was lurking for well over a year before that. I have a question that i bring up only because I notice things written on NWR (and other boards) seem to comment on things the new brides to be post on.

Do you all think there is a cycle of maybe jealousy some of the Newlyweds have towards girls planning there weddings? I got that vibe long ago when it was our turn and the older brides seemed to cause drama. Now i see comments on what other brides-to-be say or are planning and to me it all seems like some type of weird cycle.

Just an observation.

I have no jealousy, whatsoever. I'm very happy with my life and I wish the same for everyone else.

Edited to add: I want to also say that I'm also planning my wedding or renewal, whatever you want to call it. So I really don't know where I stand because I'm not a newlywed anymore but I'm not just getting married either. I wonder just what that makes me?

but I feel that I get along better with my nw girls, and I considered then my friends even thought I didn't have the pleasure to plan my wedding with them.

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Posted by Moehick

No jealousy here...I am happy with my life and my DH. Ever think some BTB are just drama mamas?

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Not in anymore of a way then a lot of us were during the planning stages. Its an emotional time, lots of things go on at that time...we have been there.

No jealousy at all here. If anything, I'm thrilled to be done with the stress of wedding planning!

I think the things that you're seeing people talk about are the same things we might have thought were a bit ridiculous while we were planning, but we're more vocal about it now that we've gone through the whole process.

jealousy? DEFINETLY NOT! That is the silliest thing I ever heard. Sometimes when you are planing a wedding things take over you. You think things are ok. You think you arent being a bridezilla since we have been there before we have been there done that We see it from the outside.

WOW Jackie we kinda said the same thing.

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Posted by Jax430

No jealousy at all here. If anything, I'm thrilled to be done with the stress of wedding planning!

I think the things that you're seeing people talk about are the same things we might have thought were a bit ridiculous while we were planning, but we're more vocal about it now that we've gone through the whole process.

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I could've written this post - very well said Jackie!

I am hardly jealous of the brides to be .. in fact, I wouldn't trade where I am now in my life with them for any money in the world.. I wasn't a 'bridezilla' but I truly made myself insane during wedding planning, and I don't miss anything about that period of time .. However I do love the concept of 'planning weddings' and I enjoy reading about the other bride's engagements, and seeing how those brides I did get to know on the boards are coming along with their plans. And if I can help in any way, I am happy to do so.

Overall when I was a BTB, MANY newlyweds HELPED me on this site - not the contrary

I am so content, I am married to my soulmate, we are living 'real life' again..and while my wedding day was wonderful , I would never want to relive the stress leading up to it again ...

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Posted by SeptWed

Okay i have been on these boards just about a year and before that i was lurking for well over a year before that. I have a question that i bring up only because I notice things written on NWR (and other boards) seem to comment on things the new brides to be post on.

Do you all think there is a cycle of maybe jealousy some of the Newlyweds have towards girls planning there weddings? I got that vibe long ago when it was our turn and the older brides seemed to cause drama. Now i see comments on what other brides-to-be say or are planning and to me it all seems like some type of weird cycle.

Just an observation.

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OMG NONO NO NO NO NO NO!

No jealousy here! I would NEVER EVER want to plan my wedding again (you've never met my family) nope! I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to be done with that!!! That was not a happy time in my life.

I think it is more a lack of respect that you see. I know when I was a BTB I think I posted on the NW board ONCE and it was with permission. I respected their board and appreciated the ones that posted on the BHB that would help us out!!! I would NEVER EVER post things calling the NW scary and things like that, even if some were.

Okay i am realizing that the jealousy word should not of been used...i apologize for that. I was just trying to point out some weird cycle.

I agree with you guys...i am very happy now and you could not pay me money to plan a wedding again. I just try and comment on BTB with vendor issues, etc....I can't really relate to their emotional issues and i think most BTB have to go through them so i try not to comment on them.

Not trying to say we are jealous because we can't plan a wedding anymore...heavens no! Or they are having a better time....

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Posted by FeliciaDA

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Posted by Jax430

No jealousy at all here. If anything, I'm thrilled to be done with the stress of wedding planning!

I think the things that you're seeing people talk about are the same things we might have thought were a bit ridiculous while we were planning, but we're more vocal about it now that we've gone through the whole process.

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I could've written this post - very well said Jackie!

I am hardly jealous of the brides to be .. in fact, I wouldn't trade where I am now in my life with them for any money in the world.. I wasn't a 'bridezilla' but I truly made myself insane during wedding planning, and I don't miss anything about that period of time .. However I do love the concept of 'planning weddings' and I enjoy reading about the other bride's engagements, and seeing how those brides I did get to know on the boards are coming along with their plans. And if I can help in any way, I am happy to do so.

Overall when I was a BTB, MANY newlyweds HELPED me on this site - not the contrary

I am so content, I am married to my soulmate, we are living 'real life' again..and while my wedding day was wonderful , I would never want to relive the stress leading up to it again ...

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I think you both summed up my feelings for me too...by the time my wedding came I could not WAIT for it to be over. I was eager for the marriage to begin and I was over all the planning. I wasn't as into it as I thought I would be.

I think we do have more perspective now too- like I can't believe that I let a couple minor things worry me. And overall, they were not important at all.


ETA- I don't know if you can even lump all the newlyweds together. Frankly I get very annoyed by all the posts on the NW board asking for advice. So I ignore those posts but there are many NWs who are happy to help. I agree with Swags about it being a respect issue. There is ample info on BHB and there is also the search function.

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Posted by SeptWed

Okay i am realizing that the jealousy word should not of been used...i apologize for that. I was just trying to point out some weird cycle.

I agree with you guys...i am very happy now and you could not pay me money to plan a wedding again. I just try and comment on BTB with vendor issues, etc....I can't really relate to their emotional issues and i think most BTB have to go through them so i try not to comment on them.

Not trying to say we are jealous because we can't plan a wedding anymore...heavens no! Or they are having a better time....

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OK then I am sorry I am not getting the point of your question or post? Maybe because it's late and I am over tired? Please explain again if you could?

It just seems lately BTB take, take, take info and then never so much as say thanks or try to get to know the people who are helping them.


When I was a BTB I never saw the rampant bashing of Newlyweds as I do lately....makes me not want to help anymore

I think maybe the longer you are on this site the more vocal you tend to be....

So maybe that is why the btb think the newlyweds cause drama.

I don't think it is jealousy- I know I am not jealous- I am glad to be over the stress.
To be honest, I am not even really interested in the wedding posts at all anymore- I don't even really look there at all.

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Posted by Moehick



When I was a BTB I never saw the rampant bashing of Newlyweds as I do lately....makes me not want to help anymore

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AGREED!

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Posted by SeptWed

Maybe jealousy is not the word for it. Its just that when we were in our in planning stages there were some Newlyweds accused of causing drama. Now you see some of that now. That is all i mean by a cycle. Jealousy might not be the right word....but it is some sort of a werid cycle is all.

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I've been on these boards for over a year. When I was a BTB, yes there were some newlyweds that were accused of drama .. many of whom aren't here anymore And there were plenty of BTBs that were guilty of drama as well back then. Yet I do not specifically recall the 'drama' being related to something such as a pure BTB vs. Newlyweds conflict back then .. it was more of a personal thing between some members, newlyweds and brides-to-be alike.. and it was a lot nastier than anything that goes on around here these days. I don't think you can compare the 'drama' you are describing these days to anything like THAT drama used to be like. Back then it was hurtful and meanspirited.. these days its just annoying

In fact, there are plenty of ladies who were newlyweds when I was a BTB that are STILL here.. and who are awesome (Swags and Ambersmom come to mind first) .. ladies who went out of there way to always make us 'new girls' feel welcome and to help us and support us with our plans..

I agree with what Mo, Tracy and Swags said .. the drama of late seems to be an overall lack of respect between the boards and between the brides and the NWs.. And no, I'm honestly not sure where this all originated...but I certainly DO NOT RECALL the majority of the '04 brides remotely acting the way *some* of the newer brides have been acting towards us of late..

I honestly can say I NEVER even used to LOOK at the newlywed board when I was a BTB .. the fact that it is innundated with posts by brides of late is mind boggling to me! Not that I truly mind answering questions.. its just that often there is SO much info on BHB or the '05 / '06 boards, or just by searching.. I dunno

Edited to add : most of us newlyweds stay on the NW board and NWR.. and otherwise are just here trying to help on BHB if we see that we can contribute. But really as Mo said, its gotten to a point where you don't even WANT to help if you aren't even acknolwedged with some respect

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Posted by jantany26

I have no jealousy, whatsoever. I'm very happy with my life and I wish the same for everyone else.

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Me too. Couldn't be happier.

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Posted by Moehick

It just seems lately BTB take, take, take info and then never so much as say thanks or try to get to know the people who are helping them.


When I was a BTB I never saw the rampant bashing of Newlyweds as I do lately....makes me not want to help anymore

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AHHHHH MOE...you said it loud and clear!

The so called 'bashing' came from another source first...

Lines were drawn and separations were done by other people NOT the newlyweds...AND YES maybe seeing 'we represent, we showed them, don't let them imitate you' kinda statements OUT OF NO WHERE....well that is where the separation started...

I don't think anyone is jealous of anybody and i DO THINK that was an incorrect adjective...

NW have just reacted to BTB silly comments...and now we are in a divided LIW...IT IS STUPID AND CHILDISH but it was started elsewhere ...SO whwn you want to point fingers you should really look at the WHOLE picture before judging

I am so happy I have no planning to do anymore.My 2 FSIL's are getting married and I went with my MIL to the dress store and told her I am soooooo happy I do not have to go thru this. I feel for the BTB, we were all there. No No way am I jelous, I am happy with DH and no wedding planning stress!!!

WOW, where have I been???

I must've missed all the drama, but did want to point out that I think the newlyweds are just in a really different place from the BTB...They really approach this site in a different way, I think. We look at it as a more social thing than the BTB do. I think we have a pretty close-knit group here, we all know each other and for the most part there is little drama amongst the newlyweds themselves. I remember when I was a BTB, I didn't have much time to come on LIW, so when I did it was just ask my question, get my answer and I'm off. And I think they see the Newlywed board as a resource - a place where you can go and ask your question and have someone who's been there and done that answer instead of other BTB's who may not know anymore than you do yourself. Does that makes sense? I for one have no problem with brides coming on the Newlywed boards...

Also, newlyweds have a much different perspective on the madness of wedding planning because it's over for them - so the My FMIL WANTS TO WEAR OFF-WHITE!!!! post doesn't seem like the end of the world anymore, it just seems like drama and something that won't matter much when the day is said and done.

I'm not sure what the solution is, it would just be nice if everyone got along and used the site as a resource to be able to talk with others no matter what your stage in life.

Although, I'm curious as to why you posted this on NWR, because, really, the NWR board is for everyone - Newlyweds and BTB's...

Anyway, to everyone, it's almost Friday!