7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Don't think I'm crazy - I have rarely attended church since I was confirmed at 14. But since I was married at my childhood church, I sometimes feel guilty not attending on a regular Sunday.

Since the wedding almost 10 months ago, I attended church once - on Christmas eve

I often say I'd like to go more often, but in reality, 2 days off a week is hardly enough to get all that I need to done, and I hate getting up early on Sundays! Pathetic excuse, I know. Even if I did go, it would be near impossible to drag DH along. He's not religious at all.

I do want to raise our kids in my religion, so maybe we'll all go on a regular basis once we have kids.

Does anyone else sometimes feel this way?

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Yes Teri....my husband and I both feel that way! When we got engaged, we meet with my pastor and she told us that she has not problem marrying us but we must attend church. So Harry and I every Sunday went to church. It was a very enjoyable thing for us to do, but then when we got back from the honeymoon, things started to taper off. We feel bad about it and now that we moved, the church is a little too far to go. There is a Lutheran Church right around the corner from us and we are going to start going there!!

I found out that this new church we are going to go to has Saturday night services!! I like that idea better than Sunday morning.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Im the opposite. I felt guilty for MARRYING in a church when I dont practice Catholism. I dont consider myself Catholic anymore and a I certainly dont agree with their version of organized religion...so I felt marrying in a church was hypocritical. But my husband really wanted it and we found a really liberal church which was a big plus.

Now he is the one who should feel guilty


If we ever have children, I wonder how the religion issue is going to play out. I would want to educate my children about God and religion - without indoctrinating them with doctrine I dont believe in or follow. It would be tough.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

ALWAYS. And the cure?

Go. You don't have to go to mass. Just stop in and gain some peace. Once you start finding solitude and quiet on off mass times, you'll find yourself hanging around for a prayer or tow, maybe just coming in for the sermon... Make it what you need it to be so that you can teach your children what is important about religion. It's not necessarily about 5:00 mass!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Teri, I understand completely.

Since we moved into our home 2 years ago we haven't joined a church in the neighborhood, and now we are having a baby that we want to have baptized. The guilt I have over my own spiritual neglect eats at me.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I didn't get married in the Church, not for this reason exactly, but it contributed to my decision.

I feel guilty sometimes but I don't go, not because of time, but because of different issues with the Catholic Church.

I agree with Jenny though ... you don't need to go to mass. Church is quite peaceful without the mass!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I should clarify that I'm not catholic - not that is really matters though. But with all that's recently been happening with the catholic church I'm sure has an impact to all those practicing catholicism.

For me, I think if we didn't get married in my church I would have felt more guilty. We could have saved our guests a lot of traveling if we were to get married at the hall, but I really didn't want to do that.

I should look into services at other times in the week - but since we're not catholic we don't have the Sat evening 5 o'clock mass!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I was just talking about this to DH the other day.

I will start attending church on a stead babsis again soon when i have children.

I want them raised going to church.

I know I should go now but I don't

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Teri...I am Lutheran and we ALWAYS went to church on Sunday morning....now we find a church that has 6pm service on Saturday night and it really appeals to us. Maybe you can find a church that has different service times.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

We did not get married in a church for those exact reasons. If I don't need to go to Catholic church on a regular Sunday to worship then we didn't need to get married in that church either. I have no regrets about that. But I do feel guilty for not belonging to a church. DH and I have talked about finding a church we both liked that we could raise our children in... we found a VERY liberal Lutheran church by us that seems ideal. The only thing is every time I think about going I get scared- like I'm going to get brainwashed! CRAZY, I KNOW.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Teri
I am not catholic either but Christian, I started going w/out DH to a charismatic church in Malverne
it has pretty much all denominations of people there
they have services 9am and 11am on sundays
11am is not so bad, I prefer the 9am only b/c then I have my whole day but you can FM if you want more info or their website.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

We Lutherans dont brainwash!! J/K

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Oh- it's not just Lutheran, it's any religion- I'm just very wary of them all for some reason- it's like being pulled in 2 directions.. on one had I really want to go.. on the other hand I'm afraid to...

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Sassyz...why not try a few churches out. That way you can compare the different churches and services without haveing to make a commitment to any of them!!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Lisa Rose that is an excellent Idea! I went to two or three but found the people where I go now to be the nicest and most welcoming
I dont even mind going w/out DH
I usually go w/ my friend but when she cant go I would still feel comfortable going

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

But you wanna know what's weird? I feel weird to go to the churches- like they are gonna look at me like a crazy person, 'who are you?' ya know? Plus- I wanna go w. DH and he's sort of not interested but will go b/c he knows it's important to me...

it's so weird.. I think i need a shrink.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Dina- trust me they dont do that! LOL
most churches are very welcoming
people just smile and introduced themselves all the time to me at where I go now

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I agree with TammyJill!! Most churches are VERY welcoming and if not...then that is not the church for you. There are some people that go to church even when on VACATION!! and they go to different churches all over the country and the world!! I actually think its very interesting to go to different churches to see the diffence in the services.

Do whatever you feel comfortable doing. If you are close to Holbrook and want to check out the Lutheran church by us, let me know. Maybe you would feel more comfortable going with others!!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

yes, I agree with Tammy - my church (when I go!) is very welcoming and friendly. They're just happy to see a young face, since so many religious organizations these days are only older ppl - they need to get some young blood in there with bottomless pockets j/k (i'm gonna get in trouble for that comment)

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

BTW...Teri...GREAT topic!! Im glad (in a strange way) to see that others feel like we do!!