Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Teri- what kind of church do you go to? I am going solo this sunday so if you want to meet me and sit w/ me you can

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I know I know- I just have to go- I took a test online.. you answer questions and it tells you what you are 'In Line' with- I was liberal Protestant- I figured Lutheran would be a good start (the church around the block has an African American, Female Reverend... SO compared to Catholicism, that's pretty liberal)...

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I grew up in a Lutheran Church with all male pastors, then a few years ago we got a female pastor and I thought...how odd...will I be able to follow along, will things we different?? Well yes things are different but in a TOTALLy good way!! She is the sweetest, most compassionet person I have ever meet and I am more comfortable talking to her that I was to our male pators!!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Teri, I totally understand your feelings. I feel guilty sometimes, too. For many reasons - for one, I was the one that wanted the church wedding; and two, now that I have Paul, I want to take him to church and haven't done it since his christening. I need to make it more of a priority for myself and my son, b/c since DH is not Catholic, I cannot expect him to take on the responsibility. Sometimes I really wish church was something we could all share, but that's not my reality.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Thanks! I thought about this in the shower this AM and thought what a good topic to post here and get some other feedback

Tammy - thanks for the offer - I'm protestant. Is your church located out East? I'm in central nassau, but very lazy on Sunday AM's!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I've actually thought about changing my religion - not anything drastic, but one that is more in line with my thoughts and beliefs. I definitely think that I am a more liberal Christian. Sassy ... I'd love for you to post that on-line test, if you could.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

LOL
Teri- its Malverne, I think that is central ISLIP
Ill FM a link to their website so you can check it out

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

What's your Religion? Take this Test



I came out liberal protestant...

DH NEO PAGAN!!!!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Im a liberal quaker!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

thanks for posting that test, I'd imagine I'd be pretty liberal too, but will see this evening when I have some time to take it!

Tammy - thanks, but CI's WAY too far for me to travel! As it is now, my childhood church is 15 mins away and that's a hike! Thanks anyway though - I appreciate it!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Ok, so I made some time to take the quiz - my results don't surprise me in the least bit!

I'm closest to a liberal protestant (stef - quaker was next in line!), but furthest from a roman catholic!!!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Teri - very interesting question. I did not want to get married in a Catholic Church because I felt kin dof hypocritical. I am going thru a time in my like wher I question organized religion and not sure where I stand. It was very important to DH so since I am Catholic and made all my other sacraments and went to 21 years of Catholic schooling - I did it happliy for him.

I don't feel like a hypocrite for the reason I did it was for him. Nor do I regret that we got married in a church. I ask DH why it is important to him being he never goes to church and it just wasis his answer. He also says when he has children, he will take them to Church and bring them up this way. He would love for me to join in this but I have no clue if I will. But either way, he said this is important to him and he will take responsibility. I do want my children to believe in a God and understand religion so this is good. I am curious to see where our future will lie.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I came out as a mainline to liberal christian protestant (100%), with liberal quaker #2 (91%). ROman Catholic was second to last with only Hinduism behind it.

To answer the original question, we don't attend mass regularly. We did for a few months leading up to the wedding because our priest wanted to see us there (so I feel guilt that we did what he wanted until we got what we wanted out of him, but no guilt about not attending mass). Since the wedding, we haven't been to a mass than wasn't a baptism, wedding or Christmas.

Technically, I'm catholic, but I have such issues with their beilefs and guilt system, that I have a hard time recognizing myself as such. Al's parents attend mass regularly and when we're home we're expected to go with them. I have a problem with that - I don't think religion shold be forced on someone. But it easier just to go and make his mom happy than to make a big deal out of it.

I wonder if Al would be open to the idea of changing religions (he was raised in catholic schools and was an alter boy - his beliefs run deeper than mine). His dad was raised Lutheran, but I guess he gave it up for his mom.

Growing up we attended church every week until I was about 8. It was a great community experience, but the thing I remember most is the doughnuts we'd get after mass

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Interesting question. Do I feel guilty not attending church. No. Not at all. The decision that I made to stop attending was just that, a decision. It was based on a number of factors having to do with religion and my beliefs, not just because I didn't want to get up on Sunday mornings (even though I hated it!!). DH and I chose not to marry in a church because neither of us attend and we felt that it would be hypocritical to have a ceremony there. Our wedding was performed outside at our hall, overlooking a lake in serene and quiet setting. It was perfect for us. We chose our officiant not because of religious beliefs but because he was someone that we could relate to and who we felt would make our ceremony special for us (he did).
However, we joke that we are probably the only 2 unpracticing Christians who were married by a Jewish chiropractor!!!!

My children were raised without attending church, but with the knowledge of Christian beliefs and God. I let them make their own decisions with regard to church and religion. While each made a different decision, my daughter attends church, my son is an atheist, their decisions were at the very least informed, so I have no guilt.

I took the test and was 100% Unitarian Universalist which does not surprise me!!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Too funny! That test told me I'm Buddhist!

I don't feel guilty about not going to church at ALL. Both DH and I are Irish Catholics. But we wanted to get married at the hall for many reasons. When I asked my parish if a priest would marry us at the hall they said no, and that if we didn't marry in the church, our marriage would not be recognized by God.

WHAT!? Give me a break. You can't tell me God, with all the crap going on in the world today, is sitting up there with a big book, keeping track of who got married where. It's ridiculous!

We got married at the hall by a retired priest. It was holy to us and to everyone there. I'm sure God approved. I know my idea of God did.

My idea of what God is has changed over the years. I've come to recognize a lot of the rules of Catholcism as man-made, not God-made. Don't eat meat on Friday, for example, is not something handed down by God. It's a man-made rule.

I don't feel it's necessary to go to church to be a 'good person.' Jesus himself preached and taught outside, in gardens and squares, on the roadway, wherever!! So was he 'less recognized' by God? I don't think so!

What I hold in my heart, how I lead my life EVERYDAY (not just on Sunday), is what makes me a 'good' person. There are plenty of people who go to church faithfully and then spend the rest of the week being selfish, nasty, and very un-Christian. They're hypocrites. I don't think they are any better off in God's eye than I am because of where they sit for 1 hour on a Sunday.

It's WHO you are everyday, not where you are on Sunday that makes the difference. God knows how I feel in my heart. That's all that matters to me.

The simple fact that you feel guilty for not going to church is an example of how far religion is out of tune with the true idea of God. God is not about guilt. Isn't he/she supposed to be all forgiving, all accepting? So why would he give you a guilt trip? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Maybe that quiz was right, and I should be a Buddhist!! LOL!!!

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

The test told me I was a Jehovah Witness!

Hubby and I have gone to Church since we were kids and we go to Mass together on Saturday nights. I like my Sunday morning sleep ins.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

kmcwed - I agree with you 100%. I am non-religious for exactly all those reasons.

People should go to church because they want to, not because they feel guilty, or that they 'have' to. If you don't want to go, don't go. Pray at home.

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

We got married in the church I have attended since I came to America and I was very happy. Its where I call home, its where I pay my tithes and offering, its where when I am sick, they know, its where I turned when my g-ma passed away and where we are supported.

I love my church and I enjoy going there. The joy that I feel looking fwd to going to church cannot be explained. I love the songs, the preached word, I enjoy attending Sunday School. I sometimes even go on Friday nights for Pastorial teaching, if I could make it home early enough I would go on Tuesday nights as well. My church's motto is where everybody is somebody and nobody is a stranger and everyone that has visited has felt that way.

My church is very welcoming and I think that is why I have been there for so many years. I am fed and I know I am grounded and I know I have people there who love me and care about me and my husband and my marriage and what is going on in my life. Not only my spirtual life but my life as a person.


Hubby doesn't go all the time, but whether or not he goes, I go, now the task his getting him to encourage his son to come along when we go.

I think if you are not being spirtually fed where you are going, you need to find somewhere else to go.

I do not like to hear all the excuses that people find not to go, you do not give excuses like that to your boss when it comes to going to work Mon - Friday.

Or there are those that ask, when I invite them, how long is your church and my response is, if I invited you to a party or a concert I am sure you would not ask me that same question.

I am not judging anyone who choses not to go, its those that still say they want to go, but give the lame excuses, that's all I see it as, an excuse. We find time to do everything else in our lives but when it comes to serving or worshipping the one we turn to in times of trouble or need we find all kinds of reason why we cannot go.

I will get off my soap box now

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Shamma,

I'm happy to hear you have a place to go that brings so much joy and fulfilment to your life. Your church truly sounds like a wonderful and supportive place.

If I could find a place where I felt that way, or a place which gave me that level of support and acceptance, without the added guilt, and without the idea of being a 'sinner' that needs redemption, I would surely go every chance I had!

Unfortunately, I have yet to find a place where I feel the same acceptance, support and peace. I seem to find that privately, when I pray in my own words, wherever I may find myself.

You're lucky to have such a bright place of support in your life!

Karen

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I do feel somewhat guilty that I don't go to church as often as I'd like, but not too much. I am very spiritual and I have very close ties with my religion (Christian - Greek Orthodox) regardless of whether I go to church or not. I have always questioned organized religion and still do, but I have come to the realization that regardless of how people have chosen to interpret or carry it out, at the heart of every religion lies a beautiful message. It is extremely important to me that I have this sort of foundation in my life. Therefore, I choose to be an 'educated believer'.