Long story short. Vin's uncle/ best friend (theyre exceptionally close) is going through a lot with his wife & marriage. His wife asked him to move out. Theyre trying to work things out- well, atleast he is.
He is under the impression she is 'confused', they married young (24) had kids young (25).. However, she is out dating other guys and talking about possibly having sex with other men
I hate being aware of all of this. There is more, ask away and I shall edit & respond. I just don;t want to make this post too long.
What do I do? I am all for giving 'Joe' a heads up.. Vin wants to wait to get 'concrete evidence'. We even went so far as to search bay shore to see if we could find her out with this other guy. We only did that because things REALLY got messy yesterday @ a baby shower she & I attended.
Not one person has said 'it isn't your concern/business' which makes me feel even MORE guilty. 'Joe' has NOT A CLUE what is going on..
what would you do?
ETA clarifications:
1. she has been caught on 3 different occasions with 2 different guys (both of which are ex's of hers) by both myself, Vin, and my sister.. What more evidence does Vin want before we say something?
2. Yesterday at the shower she was talking to her best friend (who happened to be sitting next to me) and blabbing about how she is going to lie to her DH and tell her she was going to said friend's company party but really go out with 'Bob' (one of the exes)
ruzi777
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Re: Being aware of an unfaithful partner- UPDATE
Posted by soon2bmrsVPT
bumping for dr. everlasting
What do you think Dr.???
EverlovingEv
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Re: Being aware of an unfaithful partner- UPDATE
Like the other ladies said - this is a VERY tough situation and I feel sorry for you that you're in the middle of it.
I would do the following: Gather all the evidence in the world and then get your DH to approach his bf/uncle on his own. No one else around. Since they're so close he will probably (and hopefully) believe him and he won't be embarrased b/c there wont' be anyone around. As for thier relationship - it will probably suffer for a little bit in the very beginnig b/c this will a shocker and the natural reaction is to get angry at the person delivering the news. However, after a while, I honestly think that things will go back to normal.
I had a very similar situation many years ago where I had to deliver some bad news to someone and this person got really mad at me for telling them...eventually things went back to normal.
I think we're morally obligated to tell our friends if something is going on in their lives that they're not aware of. There are soooo many scenarios that can occur that will put your DH's bf/uncle in harm - I really think he has to know what's going on. God forbid this woman sleeps with someone and contracts and STD and then her unknowing husband gets it from her..... know what I mean?
I think Vin should tell him.
Good Luck!!!!!
soon2bmrsVPT
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Re: Being aware of an unfaithful partner- UPDATE
Thank you..
my copay is in the mail
ruzi777
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Re: Being aware of an unfaithful partner- UPDATE
Posted by soon2bmrsVPT
Thank you..
my copay is in the mail
She is Right..
She's the Dr.
Better make sure that is the specialist co-pay. For me that is $10 more.
EverlovingEv
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Re: Being aware of an unfaithful partner- UPDATE
Posted by ruzi777
Posted by soon2bmrsVPT
Thank you..
my copay is in the mail
She is Right..
She's the Dr.
Better make sure that is the specialist co-pay. For me that is $10 more.
You ladies are too much!!!
For some reason I tend to think in medical terms a lot Seriously though - if the scenario I just made up were to actually happen, you know that Vin's bf/uncle will tell you that he would have wanted to know, even if you didn't have hard evidence. Some scenarios you can't go back on and they can take your life. Accusing this woman is definitely a serious allegation but doing nothing and possibly harming Vin's Bf is more serious in my eyes.
soon2bmrsVPT
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Re: Being aware of an unfaithful partner- UPDATE
oh i know.. it isnt an accusation at this point. ive caught her at the bar with other men.. She was discussing LYING to her husband to go see someone else..
If it were me, id want to know. I think that Joe would be better finding out sooner rather than later
EverlovingEv
Posted:
Member since
Re: Being aware of an unfaithful partner- UPDATE
Posted by soon2bmrsVPT
oh i know.. it isnt an accusation at this point. ive caught her at the bar with other men.. She was discussing LYING to her husband to go see someone else..
If it were me, id want to know. I think that Joe would be better finding out sooner rather than later
I agree 100%
PegaLega
Posted:
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Re: Being aware of an unfaithful partner- UPDATE
ok, In my head Im thinking DONT get involved...only b/c it may backfire-as in he may be angry with you. You know that situation where the person who is being hurt takes it our on you (does that make sense)
On the other hand-if she has been caught I would feel the need to at least say that maybe he needs to be aware that she is with other people-not necessarily sexually-but in general
I hope that all made sense, b/c I dont know if it did.
