Beside myself

please be careful. I don't know the law and am no where near being a lawyer. If he knows you are planning on leaving him he can screw with you. He can file kidnapping charges if you take your daughter without his permission. And if you pack up and leave the house you may still have to pay the mortgage and other expenses on it anyway. Please ask your lawyer what to do next to protect you and your daughter. good luck

just read your latest post, and im just really glad to hear that you're sort of in a better place today.

any more talking with him about things? any more answers?

none of us can tell you where to go from here. none of us know the entire situation. the counselor is just one person and can't tell you what to do and no one can say how ella will be impacted either way. its something to really search your heart about or pray about or consult a lawyer about, talk to your loved ones if you need support, and talk through things with him if that is even feasible. hopefully it is!!!!! you don't have to rush into a decision this very second.

i know that if it was me, the most impt thing at this point would be for my husband to be truthful about what went on, IF ANYTHING (otherwise you are simply left to imagine- which can and likely would drive anyone crazy...you may imagine things to happen that never did OR you may be letting him off the hook when something horrible happened) and also to explain why he thinks his behavior has been completely acceptable? it has CLEARLY been really affected you negatively, and your his wife. its not something to be taken lightly! i really hope he gets to the point, and very SOON, where he realizes how he has hurt you, and that he can see it is CRITICAL for some change to happen on his end.

praying for you guys!!!

Caroline, I'm just seeing this post now..

Ugh, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Many to you and Ella.
I hope nothing but good things for you and your daughter.

I haven't been on much lately but am so sorry to see this post...if it was my Dh his stuff would be in a pile burning on the front lawn... you are such a beautiful, funny woman...and if your husband doesn't see how lucky he is to have you and your beautiful daughter in his life then he doesn't deserve you...he seems pretty self centered and immature...you need a partner in life...someone who will build you up not tear you down and make you miserable...what does your family think of his behavior? Or even his family...my MIL would beat my DH for me if he pulled crap like this...and tell me to leave him...I am so sorry you have to deal with this...and wish you nothing but happiness for your future...i would gladly take a drive up to Rhode Island and remove him from your house for you! Many hugs & prayers coming your way!

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Posted by HamptonsBride
what does your family think of his behavior? Or even his family...my MIL would beat my DH for me if he pulled crap like this...and tell me to leave him...y:

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My MIL & SILS have been great. My MIL called me to tell me she loves me & she doesn't blame me for leaving,. She said 'he's my son & I love him but he's a piece of sh!t. I told him one day you were going to leave. I warned him.' She also said she loves me like a daughter, etc...

My SILs hate him. They have been telling me to leave him.

I haven't told my family anything. They have no idea anything has been going on. I have opted to keep them in the dark because they can be very dramatic. I am more of a realist. I will tell them eventually, but now.

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Posted by carolinebr

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Posted by HamptonsBride
what does your family think of his behavior? Or even his family...my MIL would beat my DH for me if he pulled crap like this...and tell me to leave him...y:

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My MIL & SILS have been great. My MIL called me to tell me she loves me & she doesn't blame me for leaving,. She said 'he's my son & I love him but he's a piece of sh!t. I told him one day you were going to leave. I warned him.' She also said she loves me like a daughter, etc...

My SILs hate him. They have been telling me to leave him.

I haven't told my family anything. They have no idea anything has been going on. I have opted to keep them in the dark because they can be very dramatic. I am more of a realist. I will tell them eventually, but now.

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I know we are all saying 'kick that jerk to the curb!' but obviously its sooo much easier said than done. i can't imagine how hard this must be for you right now.....but its good that you are at least getting some support.

just saw this post and catching up through all of it.

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I will keep you and Ella in my prayers, and I'm glad that you are contacting an attorney to help you sort through possible next steps. I hope you can find some peace soon.

I just hope you find the clarity and peace you need to make your decisions right now. Try to think, if one day Ella came to you and told you all of this, what would you tell HER to do?

We are all here for you. Never feel 'trapped' people make major life changes all the time!

I am so glad you have the support of his family. You also have the support of all of us. Im not trying to tell you what to do and I also dont know your relationship with your family but you might want to let them know so they can be there too. I know for me telling my family about stuff with my exhusband was horrible it was embarrising and oh god it was alot...however they were my biggest sense of support and help.

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Posted by ant n tilde

I just hope you find the clarity and peace you need to make your decisions right now. Try to think, if one day Ella came to you and told you all of this, what would you tell HER to do?

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That is a great point. So sorry to hear all of this. Stay strong

I am so sorry Caroline. He did a really shittty thing to you. He has no respect for you at all. It looks like he thinks he is still a bachelor. Wish him and Cheetarah all the best in their life together you don't deserve someone like him. I will be thinking of you and hoping everything works out the way you want it to

All i can add is my support to you and your daughter; all the other ladies have eloquently expressed our support for you both and how wrong he is.

its good that your in laws support you; i definitely would tell my family though. I think you need all the support you can gather at this time. praying for you

Caroline, I am so sorry to hear about this! My heart breaks for you over all the things you have been going through and this difficult situation. I have nothing to say about your DH - I don't know him and I don't know what happened this weekend. Sometimes pictures tell a thousand words, Sometimes they can be misconstrued. But only YOU know exactly what your relationship is like, what you have suffered etc. I know you've shared a few things on here, but there may be a million other things or there may not.

I will tell you this though - you have the support of everyone on here and thank God you also have the support of your in laws. I think it speaks TONS to hear that his own flesh and blood has told you to leave him, that he's no good, etc.

But the fact is that it's hard to end a relationship, especially a marriage where a child is involved. A million people can tell you to walk, to leave, to get a divorce, but that's a decision only you can make and only you SHOULD make.

One thing to consider, I have heard previously that if YOU LEAVE your home, you can really shoot yourself in the foot if you choose to get a divorce later on. I've heard that it's best to STAY in your home and have your DH leave (obviously this is difficult since your DH doesn't want to leave, but I think that you STAYING is the right decision as hard as it may be to be around him).

MANY MANY MANY hugs to you and I pray that you find it within yourself to decide what you want to do.

We are all here for you.

wow, I haven't been on the boards in a few days. i can't believe this is happening to you. I have no adivce, as i have never been in your shoes. but lots of and i it all works out in the end. I'm so sorry.

Caroline, I am rereading everything and I am so upset for you.. but what I will tell you is that you are an AMAZING WOMAN AND MOTHER and DON'T EVER FORGET THAT.. Ella is blessed to have you in her life.. You will find a way thru this.. He is undeserving of a woman like you... If he wants to be and act single, let him. You don't need an irresponsible jerkoff like that in your life anyway.. We are all here for you.. You and Ella and in my prayers!!!

First of all I want to send some hugs your way. I am sure this is extremely difficult and heartbreaking to find this out.

I am a family law and matrimonial attorney and I want to help you in any way I can. Please FM me so we can talk.

Your daughter is beautiful and you will both be in my thoughts and prayers.

What an a@@
Divorce him!!!
Your child is better off without him as a role model, and you are too!!!
A DEFINITE liar and possible cheater? Get rid of the bum.