Beside myself

if he caught you in a situation like that...a girls night out with 4 guys and 4 girls..and pics with you not wearing your ring even by 'accident' wouldnt he flip out?!?! he'll make up every lie in the book to tell you too think otherwise...but that girl in the first pic looks way too cozy for my taste, and than theres drinks involved...

Do you know these 3 other guys he went out with? and if so do they all know ur husband is married and has a daughter...do these guys have wives, gfs, that u can perhaps talk too?

i feel so bad,

omg caroline. my heart is breaking for you, i saw those pictures and my heart dropped. You've told many stories about your DH before and most have painted him in a bad light, I won't make any judgements calls on him because I haven't known you as long as the other girls on here... but only you know him and your relationship, so you will know what's best, for you and especially for that amazing little girl you have. And you don't have to know that answer today, you can take time, as much as you need. I pray for your strength to get through this, no matter which way you choose, and I also pray for your comfort and peace of mind whatever decision you make. Please take care of yourself.

I am so sorry !!

caroline,

You have a gorgeous daughter and you are such a good mom. You are so proud of your daughter.
I cant tell you what to do. I hope you guys got a chance to talk last night. If there is anything I can do please let me know!!!

I also wanted to add that I think you are one hot momma and he is one Dumb Dumb for doing what he did !!! He is losing out on an amazing wife, friend , and mother of his child !!

Thank you everyone for your support and your FMs. I received SO many FMs and I will get back to all of you soon. I promise.

Today, I am feeling a little better & feeling strong enough to consult an attorney. Packing my bags is a difficult option for me only because I don't really have anywhere to go. I am up in Rhode Island with no family or friends. My job is here so I can't exactly run home to NY either. I am just going to have to suck it up for now. I'm sure he has plans to go away again this weekend & the next, and the next, so I likely will not have to spend much time with him. I once again asked him to leave but he is refusing.

you have fm. I'm so sorry.

so sorry you are going through this!!!!!!!hugs for you . i hope you get out of this situation soon for you and ella. keep us posted!

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Posted by gemmifer

Honestly girls --- IT is WRONG OF him NOT to wear his ring. and maybe it was an accident

~However - I do think it is possible it was a guys wknd and than they met those chicks out at a rest/bar.

I have seen this time and time again esp when I go out with my girls single some not.. men will park their @sses at our table all the time b/c they think they are soo farking 'Wanted' - all's it takes is one girl in your crowed single or unhappily married to go along with the program to allow them to all sit down and chit chat ...than the drinks come and than more drinks come.. and pictures happen. Honestly I am shocked I didn't see worse cause I have seen it all from loser men prentending not to be 'married'

In any case Caroline is well aware of the issues going on in her marriage this is why she posts to us to vent. She is questioning the integrity of her DH b/c her gut is telling her to do so. It might have been a gift that this happened and she found the photos.The night even might have been inappropriate behavior of a married man, and we will never know what went on behind closed doors.


However - she did chose this person in her life for a reason and the real issue here is the bond of trust has obviously has been compromised and broken. Even if they get past this.. (which they could ) I have seen it happen, the marriage is Jeopardized, and she will always wonder about the next time. This is only something Caroline can decide upon.

I pray for strength for you I feel you will be able to make a clear decision after the storm subsides .(maybe 48hrs ) lol..

I also don't think Caroline you should just stay for Ella if that is the only reason you have been all along - that infact is a very bad reason.

Please read my FM.

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I just caught up with this and I really agree with what gemmifer said. I think it might have been a random meeting; if the other guys were on the prowl, he just happeend to be there and it would have been awkward or near impossible not to be around them. I ahve been in that situation which Is why I DONT go out with single gal pals anymore if its a 'prowl' night. I stay home to avoid the drama.

However yes he was wrong for not wearing the ring and between the Joey stuff and other things you have mentioned I think you really need to take a few days for yourself. Take Ella and go to a family members or a friends and just debrief for a week or two and get your emotions laid out enough to examine tham all and the pros and the cons.

I don't know whats going on in your marriage-none of us do. There are always so many mroe layers that a few posts unfortunately cant get across, a lot more emotions and hurt feelings and I really hope you manage to find some peace whether its with him or not.

Ella needs to grow up ina good home; whether its one parent or two. She doesnt need to see her daddy mistreating her mommy in any way because it will just hurt ehr growing up.

Keep us posted.

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Posted by carolinebr

Thank you everyone for your support and your FMs. I received SO many FMs and I will get back to all of you soon. I promise.

Today, I am feeling a little better & feeling strong enough to consult an attorney. Packing my bags is a difficult option for me only because I don't really have anywhere to go. I am up in Rhode Island with no family or friends. My job is here so I can't exactly run home to NY either. I am just going to have to suck it up for now. I'm sure he has plans to go away again this weekend & the next, and the next, so I likely will not have to spend much time with him. I once again asked him to leave but he is refusing.

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I'm sorry to crash and I'm so sorry you have to go thru this... you have a beautiful daughter and keep her as the main focus when you really sort thru what needs to be done. As far as leaving, you shouldn't... that could be considered abandonment and if you do decide to persue a divorce, they won't look to kindly on that.

Good luck with whatever you decided to do... you have such a great support system here on the NW boards.

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Posted by carolinebr

Thank you everyone for your support and your FMs. I received SO many FMs and I will get back to all of you soon. I promise.

Today, I am feeling a little better & feeling strong enough to consult an attorney. Packing my bags is a difficult option for me only because I don't really have anywhere to go. I am up in Rhode Island with no family or friends. My job is here so I can't exactly run home to NY either. I am just going to have to suck it up for now. I'm sure he has plans to go away again this weekend & the next, and the next, so I likely will not have to spend much time with him. I once again asked him to leave but he is refusing.

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Tell him to get his @ss out ! heck you have the baby to deal with--so you shouldn't have to leave--make him go.

i'm glad you are looking at your options with an attorney---i know its SOOOO hard but you have to stand up for yourself. from all your posts about him over the past year---i've just wanted to wring his neck.....because of his lack of respect for you. like everyone said --- you deserve better!

good luck!

wow caroline i'm really sorry for all that you're going through

i think Laura said it best - if he's refusing to leave, do what she said...

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Posted by LauraD419

Pick up that gorgeous daughter of yours....pack your bag and go to a close friend or family's house for the night. When he goes to work, go home, pack his things and leave them on the front lawn. Then, change your locks and call a lawyer.

You deserve better than that....everyone does. I know you would love to stay together for your daughter, but a terrible marriage is not going to make her life better. It might even do more harm than good.

Best of luck and fm if you need.

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only you know when enough is enough...the marriage counselor said it, these pictures prove it, and his denial is just offensive. you have lots of girls here who back you up 110%, please don't think you're ever alone! your heart was ripped out, don't let his lies allow you to forget that!

i for your strength, as well as Ella's happiness.

wow I missed a lot yesterday. What a friggen jerk! Sweetie defiantly talk to an attorney, but also get some counseling. For you and your daughter. Even though she is young, she probably already senses something isn't right. Make sure she doesn't get hurt during this process. I've been in her shoes, I remember what is like being in the middle of mom and dads arguments.

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Posted by carolinebr

Thank you everyone for your support and your FMs. I received SO many FMs and I will get back to all of you soon. I promise.

Today, I am feeling a little better & feeling strong enough to consult an attorney. Packing my bags is a difficult option for me only because I don't really have anywhere to go. I am up in Rhode Island with no family or friends. My job is here so I can't exactly run home to NY either. I am just going to have to suck it up for now. I'm sure he has plans to go away again this weekend & the next, and the next, so I likely will not have to spend much time with him. I once again asked him to leave but he is refusing.

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Caroline, you are AMAZING and I am so relieved you're feeling clear headed and calm today. Consulting an attorney is a great first step, regardless of what happens down the line. I know you're not at liberty to just pick up and go, due to your job and geography.
Next week is 4th of July weekend, do you have any plans to get away for a few days? Can you make any for you and Ella??? Any way you can come down to LI and see your mom for a few days? (Or forget that if its too stressful!! ) I just think if your husband has all the time and money to get away every weekend you should be able to as well. If you can get down here I bet some of us can catch up with you over the weekend?
I'd love to meet you and I'll buy you a one-gallon daquiri.

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Posted by Colette

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Posted by carolinebr

Thank you everyone for your support and your FMs. I received SO many FMs and I will get back to all of you soon. I promise.

Today, I am feeling a little better & feeling strong enough to consult an attorney. Packing my bags is a difficult option for me only because I don't really have anywhere to go. I am up in Rhode Island with no family or friends. My job is here so I can't exactly run home to NY either. I am just going to have to suck it up for now. I'm sure he has plans to go away again this weekend & the next, and the next, so I likely will not have to spend much time with him. I once again asked him to leave but he is refusing.

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Caroline, you are AMAZING and I am so relieved you're feeling clear headed and calm today. Consulting an attorney is a great first step, regardless of what happens down the line. I know you're not at liberty to just pick up and go, due to your job and geography.
Next week is 4th of July weekend, do you have any plans to get away for a few days? Can you make any for you and Ella??? Any way you can come down to LI and see your mom for a few days? (Or forget that if its too stressful!! ) I just think if your husband has all the time and money to get away every weekend you should be able to as well. If you can get down here I bet some of us can catch up with you over the weekend?
I'd love to meet you and I'll buy you a one-gallon daquiri.

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Caroline I agree with Colette-try and take some time for yourself and Ella, a mini vacation so that you can get away from the bubble of what is going on. If you come to LI I will buy you the second gallon daquiri Whatever you do-just listen to your heart and your gut-you are a stronger then I would be in your shoes

I am so sorry Caroline! There is definitely no ring on his finger.

I know you want to do what is best for Ella, but thinking along those lines, you have to decide whether it is best for her for you to remain in a marriage where there are issues, some which cannot be ironed out. Whatever your decision might be, I hope all goes well and sending you many hugs!

Caroline,
It is always sad to hear of a marriage coming to an end because it cannot be salvaged.
Be selfish, think about yourself and Ella foremost. Listen to what your marriage counselor told you about your marriage.

Reading your OP, I felt as if your husband wanted to get caught - why else would he give out his (your) e-mail address so some chicky could send pictures ?

My heart goes out to you and Ella.
Be well and be strong.


Susi

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Posted by carolinebr

Thank you everyone for your support and your FMs. I received SO many FMs and I will get back to all of you soon. I promise.

Today, I am feeling a little better & feeling strong enough to consult an attorney. Packing my bags is a difficult option for me only because I don't really have anywhere to go. I am up in Rhode Island with no family or friends. My job is here so I can't exactly run home to NY either. I am just going to have to suck it up for now. I'm sure he has plans to go away again this weekend & the next, and the next, so I likely will not have to spend much time with him. I once again asked him to leave but he is refusing.

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It makes me so sad hearing what you are going through. I can't even imagine! I live away from my family and friends as well and couldn't imagine what it would be like. You are very strong....and you'll make it through this. My prayers are with you and your beautiful daughter.

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Posted by What

Caroline.. i am convinced your husband is a douchebag. I need for you to tell me soething GOOD about him aside from he fathered that gorgeous little girl of yours..

YOU deserve better...
YOU are not alone... you have ella... ALWAYS... you will NEVER be alone.

but you deserve someone who doesn't cause you so much stress...

I for your strength... please hang in there.. if not for YOU, but for Ella...

I am so very sorry he's awful to you...

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I totally agree!! i couldnt have said it any better! this is totally unacceptable!
i hope all is well! i am so sorry you are going through this! i will keep you in my thougths and prayers!

I am so sorry that you and Ella are going through this. From what you had posted in the past I knew you had issues but this is the icing on the cake. There is definitely no ring on his finger and I can't believe he doesn't see your upset.

That is a good step in getting a lawyer and maybe they will give you guidance on what you should do next. I agree with Colette and Peggy that you should take Ella and go on a mini vacation just to clear your head and get away for alittle bit. Please keep us posted and you know you have all the support here so come on and vent all you want.