DH and I are still not doing well...

Things got a little better for a few days then went right back to being terrible.

He said some really hurtful stuff recently and I asked him to move out.

Really not sure what to do or think at the moment.

I am really sorry to hear this!

Did you guys live together prior to getting married? If not, I know that when we first moved it, we fought ALL the time, and things did get better -- it's a huge adjustment.

Thinking of you!

Awww Jenny!! I am so sorry to hear this. All relationships go through rough patches and I am sure that things get better. I know I can't do anything to help, but maybe some hugs will help...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you guys can work it out. Maybe some time apart will help?

I know I don't post a lot, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm truly sorry and not to give up.

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Posted by whtevjenny

I am really sorry to hear this!

Did you guys live together prior to getting married? If not, I know that when we first moved it, we fought ALL the time, and things did get better -- it's a huge adjustment.

Thinking of you!

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Yeah we lived together for a little over a year before we got married.

I am really sorry to hear about that. Have you guys considered talking to a therapist? Maybe they can help you work on the issues you guys are having

Its so weird bc we were always perfect together and nothing really changed except the title of 'married' instead of 'engaged'... and I feel like it just all went to sh*t so fast. We have only been married 2 months and I feel like we have so much anger towards eachother. He is never around, he works nights and weekends and when he is around I am either at work or school.

I really have no other explination except that we are doing all the little things to hide the problem and nothing to fix it and I just decided I want some time to myself.

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Oh no...I am so sorry...have you thought about marriage counseling? Hang in there love..

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I would def. consider counseling but I have to get to the point of really wanting to do it. Right now im just all pissed and upset and I just don't even want to think about it or him

oh nooo im soo sorry you are dealing with this! maybe a few days away from each other will get things back on track...

Have you guys though of maybe going to counceling? I dont know if that will help but its a shot right?

feel better sweetie!!!

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Posted by JennyAPH

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Oh no...I am so sorry...have you thought about marriage counseling? Hang in there love..

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I would def. consider counseling but I have to get to the point of really wanting to do it. Right now im just all pissed and upset and I just don't even want to think about it or him

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'

Ok well we need to snap you out of that mode! Your feelings are SO valid..SOOOO valid...BUT it is important to not let them get in the way of you seeing the bigger picture...and it sounds like that picture is that you want to get through this rough patch. Have you talked about this with him?

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Posted by JennyAPH

Its so weird bc we were always perfect together and nothing really changed except the title of 'married' instead of 'engaged'... and I feel like it just all went to sh*t so fast. We have only been married 2 months and I feel like we have so much anger towards eachother. He is never around, he works nights and weekends and when he is around I am either at work or school.

I really have no other explination except that we are doing all the little things to hide the problem and nothing to fix it and I just decided I want some time to myself.

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i think that part of it might be the frustration of never seeing each other. when DH was working a lot, i felt a strange disconnect with him b/c we weren't spending any time together. maybe you need to make time some time for each other? that way the time that you do see each other isn't just about 'bills, responsibility, money, etc'

sending love your way...

I am so sorry, I don't really have any advice for you that everyone else haven't said, so I just wanted to say I am sorry and I hope things work themselves out.

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Posted by pandafish519

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Posted by JennyAPH

Its so weird bc we were always perfect together and nothing really changed except the title of 'married' instead of 'engaged'... and I feel like it just all went to sh*t so fast. We have only been married 2 months and I feel like we have so much anger towards eachother. He is never around, he works nights and weekends and when he is around I am either at work or school.

I really have no other explination except that we are doing all the little things to hide the problem and nothing to fix it and I just decided I want some time to myself.

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i think that part of it might be the frustration of never seeing each other. when DH was working a lot, i felt a strange disconnect with him b/c we weren't spending any time together. maybe you need to make time some time for each other? that way the time that you do see each other isn't just about 'bills, responsibility, money, etc'

sending love your way...

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I think disconnected is a great way to describe it. When we do see eachother it is usually all business & no fun.. we don't have time for fun anymore. Since thursday I have literally seen him for a total of about 30 minutes and thats just in passing.

I have nothing constructive for you other than

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Posted by pandafish519


i think that part of it might be the frustration of never seeing each other. when DH was working a lot, i felt a strange disconnect with him b/c we weren't spending any time together. maybe you need to make time some time for each other? that way the time that you do see each other isn't just about 'bills, responsibility, money, etc'

sending love your way...

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I do agree with this. DH is in CT 3-4 days a week. We need money and I am not really working regularly, but he would rather be stretching our dollar then have me take a store or restaurant job, because if we don't see each other on weekends we won't really ever see each other. With him living in a town where he doesn't work nor his family is from, we are afraid that will lead to fights or resentment. So I won't take a job that makes me work weekends.

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by JennyAPH

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Oh no...I am so sorry...have you thought about marriage counseling? Hang in there love..

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I would def. consider counseling but I have to get to the point of really wanting to do it. Right now im just all pissed and upset and I just don't even want to think about it or him

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'

Ok well we need to snap you out of that mode! Your feelings are SO valid..SOOOO valid...BUT it is important to not let them get in the way of you seeing the bigger picture...and it sounds like that picture is that you want to get through this rough patch. Have you talked about this with him?

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Thanks hun. I am hoping after tonight (have a huge presentation to do at school) i will have more energy to tackle the situation. I really just want some time alone. I feel so stressed when he is home and so blah... and lately its impossible to talk. I tried talking to him on the phone about it this morning (bc seriously we havent even had time to speak face to face in a week) and I said that I felt like he was being a little selfish lately. I said it nicely, and emphasized its just how i FELT and maybe its the reason why im so angry and instead of saying how he felt he replies 'said the girl who just bought herself another shirt'. I dont see how thats the point or how that is going to help. So i just hung up. I know i should have tried harder but im really freaking tired and have nooo desire to fight with him and be in a bad mood alllll day when I have a really busy work day and a huge presentation to do later.

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Posted by JennyAPH

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by JennyAPH

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Oh no...I am so sorry...have you thought about marriage counseling? Hang in there love..

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I would def. consider counseling but I have to get to the point of really wanting to do it. Right now im just all pissed and upset and I just don't even want to think about it or him

---

'

Ok well we need to snap you out of that mode! Your feelings are SO valid..SOOOO valid...BUT it is important to not let them get in the way of you seeing the bigger picture...and it sounds like that picture is that you want to get through this rough patch. Have you talked about this with him?

---

Thanks hun. I am hoping after tonight (have a huge presentation to do at school) i will have more energy to tackle the situation. I really just want some time alone. I feel so stressed when he is home and so blah... and lately its impossible to talk. I tried talking to him on the phone about it this morning (bc seriously we havent even had time to speak face to face in a week) and I said that I felt like he was being a little selfish lately. I said it nicely, and emphasized its just how i FELT and maybe its the reason why im so angry and instead of saying how he felt he replies 'said the girl who just bought herself another shirt'. I dont see how thats the point or how that is going to help. So i just hung up. I know i should have tried harder but im really freaking tired and have nooo desire to fight with him and be in a bad mood alllll day when I have a really busy work day and a huge presentation to do later.

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Oh my goodness Jen..I am so sorry...that wasnt nice of him to say as you were just trying to express your feelings. Get through your presentation and then go from there. Have you thought about writing himn a letter? I know it sounds cheesey but it will help you get your thoughts out and give him time to process without getting defensive (ie the shirt comment) and maybe you will actually be able to talk?

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by JennyAPH

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by JennyAPH

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Oh no...I am so sorry...have you thought about marriage counseling? Hang in there love..

---

I would def. consider counseling but I have to get to the point of really wanting to do it. Right now im just all pissed and upset and I just don't even want to think about it or him

---

'

Ok well we need to snap you out of that mode! Your feelings are SO valid..SOOOO valid...BUT it is important to not let them get in the way of you seeing the bigger picture...and it sounds like that picture is that you want to get through this rough patch. Have you talked about this with him?

---

Thanks hun. I am hoping after tonight (have a huge presentation to do at school) i will have more energy to tackle the situation. I really just want some time alone. I feel so stressed when he is home and so blah... and lately its impossible to talk. I tried talking to him on the phone about it this morning (bc seriously we havent even had time to speak face to face in a week) and I said that I felt like he was being a little selfish lately. I said it nicely, and emphasized its just how i FELT and maybe its the reason why im so angry and instead of saying how he felt he replies 'said the girl who just bought herself another shirt'. I dont see how thats the point or how that is going to help. So i just hung up. I know i should have tried harder but im really freaking tired and have nooo desire to fight with him and be in a bad mood alllll day when I have a really busy work day and a huge presentation to do later.

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Oh my goodness Jen..I am so sorry...that wasnt nice of him to say as you were just trying to express your feelings. Get through your presentation and then go from there. Have you thought about writing himn a letter? I know it sounds cheesey but it will help you get your thoughts out and give him time to process without getting defensive (ie the shirt comment) and maybe you will actually be able to talk?

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My shirt was on sale for $25!!!

totally not the point but now im getting defensive