Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

The Thanksgiving post got me thinking.

I come from a wonderful family, as does Dh, however both sides are rarely together.

As hard as it is to believe I have been with DH for more than 10 years and our families have had limited contact. I think for the most part it was my fault, for not initiating, but my FIL is very anti social and never goes to anything you invite him to. MIL was the same way until recently.

Is it too late to try to get everyone together or did I blow it and should leave it as is?

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

well, you know I do ---and sometimes its sad b/c it seems like a lot of people do the BIG GTG's but I guess if you want that you sometimes have to make it happen yourself and that is why I plan to cook next thanksgiving

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

To me it's never too late to try. Like I was telling Tammyjill, plan to do it next year and give everyone a couple of weeks notice. Make your home festive and have everyone bring a dish. Play music and get a game - Taboo or something that that everyone can play together.

It's really hard getting family and inlaws all together. I have done it a couple of times and it worked out okay. Some people will be anti-social and some will fully participate.

Go for it in 2004!

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

no.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

I am hoping that when I ahve my house, my Inlaws will be willing to come for the holiday. We have had them at my paretns house for BBQ, and they have had us, but nothing with my extended family - aunts and cousins. They will be invited,a dn if they choose to not come over, then they can stay home, otherwise they won't see their son, if we are having the holiday. My parenst and aunt can't wiat ofr me to start having holidays, so they don't ahve to do it anymore.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

Yes, I wish that my sister had thought to invite my dh's family to Thanksgiving this year, seeing as they are only 4 people. But instead we are making the trek midday out to LI on Thanksgiving!

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

Our families can't get together for anything. I just mean the immediate family. As for aunts and uncles that is ok just the immediate familes.

I don't blame my sisters though...what I went through while dating Enzo was horrible. If I was to tell you everything it is disgusting. I don't even know how I even forgave them. But I forgave but I don't forget...that is for sure.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

Yes and no. It would be nice to have both families together for a holiday but being that we don't have a house, that won't happen. But it will I am sure happen once we have kids (christenings, birthdays, etc).

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

Yes and no for me too.

I wish that I could have both families over at the same time but our families are so different. I hate saying this but my in-laws are off the boat. They really don't speak English unless they are talking to me and my parents are 'american'. Our parents have nothing in common. Its sad but I think once the grandkids come along it might be a bit easier.

We dated for six years before we got married, our parents didn't officially met until we got engaged. And after that they didn't see each other until my shower a year later.


I sometimes feel sad that each of our familes will never embrace each other like my parents family did. I miss that a lot.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

It would make our lives SO much easier if Al's parents would be into combining celebrations. My parents have invited them many times. Usually they'll come over for a drink on Christmas, but not dinner.

They feel like they need to have their own family thing, even if its just the two of them.

I'm hoping I can change this once we have a house. If I invite everyone over then it won't be like they're going to my parents house, instead they're going to their son/DIL's house.

But our parents do socialize without us occasionally.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

Since my parents have divorced and my mom lives alone, she comes to every holiday at my in-laws(with my brother) . My in-laws are wonderful, and invite my Mom and Bro. to literally EVERY holiday and it makes it so much easier for DH and I.

Plus, they all get along great so that's a bonus!

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

Our families did not get along from the start because of cultural differences, language barrier and personality conflicts with anomisities. No, I do not wish that both sets of parents get together often. It's very awkward where one family is very outgoing and the other retrieve into their shell and be very quiet. There's nothing to say to my family as they take a lot of things into offence where 'respect' is very important. Forget jokes as one would be offended. Seeing them less is good--less is more. I love DH's family especially extended family and would love to see them more. They are very humble, compassionate, affectionate, and geniune people.

Unfortuntately, MIL invited my parents and silbing for Thanksgiving and again like the past 2 years now... It's the same topic year after year... work and the annoying F*** baby topic. We plan to be childless by choice, it's our decision. No one can force us.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

both sides have their own family gatherings...so in that way its tough...but DH's aunt (his mom is out of state) and my mom invite each other to everything!! and his aunt does my moms nails...

so they get together...just not on the holidays...

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

My parents and Rob's mom and husband try to get together on some holidays, but it is really hard for me because Rob's parents are both divorced, remarried, and have a host of stepkids.

It would definitely make my life a little easier with determining where we are going ... but worrrying about who doesn't get along with who and entertaining everyone is really not worth it to me.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

we've gotten our families together in the past, but it never works out all that great. they are all nice people, and get along fine, but they don't seem to really hit it off. its awkward sometimes.

also, our families are large. it would be tough to have the six people in his family, the three in my immediate, plus my extended family, all over at the same time unless it was in the backyard over the summer.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

Every once in a while we do something together, but not too often.
I actually like it that way. I don't like to have to split my attention. My family don't like to share me

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

our families have over four states separating them.. so

No.

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

I don't think it's too late - since you guys are married now and obviously live together , maybe you can entertain both sides at your apartment. Better to start early

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

It is cool the way it is. Sometimes I choose not to go, b/c Roger's large and I do mean large family seem to be always gathering for something. I guess it was the way I was raised, sometimes I like it to be just us and not every single person that shares our blood line

Re: Do you guys wish that 'both' of your families did more things together?

I have had the past two Thanksgivings with our families and this past Mothers Day. I just finished cleaning up . While there were some problems during the wedding planning and yet it is sometimes very hard to forget, everything is ok now and we all get together for these couple of holidays we plan at our house.