does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Original post by Scoop

Jul 09, 2003 04:13 PM

Girls....

I think my feminist days are over. I absolutely love my profession and I have a dream job....but I can totally see myself wanting to just be a stay at home wife/mom too. My husband and I agreed I can do this when we start a family...(approx. 2-3 years from now).

I know women can have it all...but do we still want it all? Your thoughts?

JennRenee Posted: Jul 09, 2003 06:52 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Diane, I admire you!
After ten months of teaching, which I do enjoy, I want NOTHING to do with teaching until September.

Diane Posted: Jul 09, 2003 06:53 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Thanks,
But next summer Im tAKING OFF!!!!!!!

I have NEVER taken a summer off and done NOTHING. I think Im entitled to that next summer??

JennRenee Posted: Jul 09, 2003 06:56 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

You absolutely are entitled!

Kel Posted: Jul 09, 2003 07:11 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Thanks, Diane .. I've been pretty inconsistent over the past few months .. but have been around a bit more lately. .. Thanks for making me feel welcome for stopping back in.

jennbaby Posted: Jul 09, 2003 07:13 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Yabbobay how funny

JennRenee Posted: Jul 09, 2003 07:22 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Kel, you're always welcome here!

Kel Posted: Jul 09, 2003 07:34 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Thanks JennRenee!! And by the way .. I know I'm a little late .. but congrats on your upcoming little arrival!! How exciting!!

(Shame on me for not saying something sooner .. but it really is depressing how quickly time goes by).

JennRenee Posted: Jul 09, 2003 07:35 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Thanks!!!

Karen H Posted: Jul 09, 2003 08:08 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I could quit working in an instant, and DH would love nothing more than for that to happen, but unfortunately we decided to live near his family and LI requires both of us working to pay the mortgage I could easily keep myself busy working on the yard, the house, my crafts, volunteer work, helping MIL and Granny, cooking, etc.

So - next Friday - Mega Millions - I think it's 26 million - that would work for me! $2.00 and a dream

HeatherandNick Posted: Jul 09, 2003 08:27 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I am so sick of wirking and dread going in every day and I only work 3 days a week

stacedz Posted: Jul 09, 2003 08:37 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I am sick of my commute more than anything! Well I shouldn't say that because I am sick of my job as well since I have been there for 8 years this October, I need a change! As much as I say I'd love to be a SAHM one day I don't think I could go without working and having that outside contact completely or even challenging my mind through work. And I doubt we could afford to live on only my husbands salary so...

Chloegirl Posted: Jul 09, 2003 09:17 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Its so weird and I thought I would never say this...but when we have kids I want to stay home!!!

I am tired of working and really find it hard to do everything I want and need to do. I will be very happy raising the kids and doing some freelance writing on the side....I cant wait!

VickiC Posted: Jul 09, 2003 10:44 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I could definitely stay home and take care of the apartment and husband and possibly children if we have them. Unfortunately, that won't be able to happen for a long time.

I could seriously be happy having only a part-time job. I'm just tired of getting up at 5:30am every morning to get on the LIRR.

MrsTC Posted: Jul 09, 2003 10:56 PM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

This may seem old fashioned, but since I was a little girl that is all I have ever wanted. To be a good wife and mother. I am even looking into things I can do from home to bring some $$ in. But I just think it is so important especially during the early years.

I was raised by a SAHM and my younger sister (8 years younger) for the majority of her life, was not. My dad lost his job and Mom had to go back to teaching. My sister and I are completely different (she is out of control sometimes) and I wonder if the fact that my Mom went back to work had an effect on her.

I can't wait to be home with the baby teaching him/her things, taking walks, etc!!

MSCJLK Posted: Jul 10, 2003 08:08 AM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I totally want to stay at home.. or at least work part time...I can not see myself leaving my child at day care for 10 hours a day.. what kind of life is that... I work in the city and my DH works 25 min from home...

I totally want to stay home and be a SAHM...

I love my job.. but i am done with work... i know it is terrible...

jlf41 Posted: Jul 10, 2003 08:24 AM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I totally agree with Michelle. It is all about choice and we are very lucky to have that choice. But I guess when you think about it, do we really have a choice? Most of us live on LI or NYC, where cost of living is one of the highest in the country. Most families need to have both partners working just to afford the mortgage/ rent not to mention a vacation now or then. I know with a DH who works for the NYPD, it is unlikely that we will be able to survive just on his salary and let me say, we have a VERY FAR from extravagant lifestyle. I am still in school so it is hard to say how I will feel when I actually start working, but for now I am looking forward to putting all this education to work. I do have to say though, one of my BFs is a SAHM (who's husband makes a fortune at work) and after spending time with her I often dream about staying home too... So, we missed Powerball ladies, but I will be playing the lottery too from now on!

starhead Posted: Jul 10, 2003 08:28 AM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I think it's really hard to say at this point if I would be a SAHM. I put so much time, money and energy into where I am now. Also law school put me into a lot of debt. So I'm not sure if it would be feasible for me to be a SAHM even though DH makes a good income.
LI is sooo expensive, and it's going to be tough for us once we close on our house, so I don't see how it would be possible with me not working. Anyway, I might not love my job, but it does provide a good salary and I love my friends here. I've only been out of law school a little over 2 years and I miss school already! I want to take classes soon. I don't know how I could deal with being home, all the time, with no outside life. I'm pretty sure it would make me crazy and depressed.

I also think it's absolutely possible to be a good wife and mother and work outside the home. I think I might be a bad wife/mother if I had to stay at home and not have any intellectual stimulation!! But as I don't have a child yet, who knows how I'll feel when the time comes?

wacky Posted: Jul 10, 2003 08:58 AM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I dont. I actually just told my girlfriend the other day that I want to be those stay at home moms.

But I still dont want to cook

nycchic_24 Posted: Jul 10, 2003 09:18 AM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

I always thought I wanted to stop working and right before school is back in session, check back with me cause I am sure I will feel differently but right now, I am tired of being home. I am off for the summer (teacher) and I am expected to cook, clean, do laundry, among other things EVERY DAY!

He is way more understanding when Im working and im not miss holly homemaker! So I think I have a few more working years in me unless we are blessed before then with a baby. Then I will definately be a SAHM!

jenny11.9 Posted: Jul 10, 2003 09:44 AM

Re: does anyone just not want to work anymore?

Great question Scoop – and I commend everybody’s honesty!

I personally think it’s a really hard decision. My husband and I own a company together that we have 'raised since a baby' basically. It’s grown so much and really depends on our chemistry to keep it working I am afraid. My husband really wants me to stay home when the baby comes (in January) , but I think that’s more the ideal he has had his whole life. That he will be successful enough that his wife can stay at home and raise the children. And he is! But it’s more like 'we' are. We did it together and I have a tremendous amount to do with it staying alive so to speak. Just as much as him really.

Right now the plan is for me to stay home for around 3 months and then consider the options. I would be doing the books from home – that can’t change because I don’t trust anybody! I could definitely bring the baby with me….but then I think about the fact that I have been working since I was 14 years old in some office aspect or another and this could be my opportunity to take the time to focus on my writing which is something I have really neglected. It’s so hard. I want to stay home, I really do. I want to raise my child and have a homemaker’s life for a while, but I am afraid my tendency will be to set up an office in my house, try to write in any spare time I have….and end up on IM, checking work e-mail, and continuing to work as if the baby never happened…and find myself back at the office two days, three days and finally all week in the end.

I think a lot of us – I know my friends feel this way – raced through college and wanted to have these great jobs, be strong, make money, etc. And not only did they lose sight of the raise children concept, they also lost sight of the things that really interested them in the first place. That is why I admire LisaT so much right now with her new job that is really exciting for her.