Would you ever allow your parents to move in with you? And I mean if you had a house with a private basement..not live in a room next to you. Also, I am not saying if your parents had no place to go would you take them. Lets say your parents could afford their own place but wanted to live with you and DH...would you allow it? Please explain..
TommysWife08
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
myself and DH have already talked about this... no no and more NO!!! im patient, but not THAT patient lol
sounds horrible yes... this question has already been posted
both of our parents know that we never plan on taking them in - EVER!
Butterfly123
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
If it wasnt an emergency then no way. We had the opposite situation. My mom wanted to buy a two family house and have DH and I live upstairs from them so we could save money. I was really considering taking their offer but DH talked me out of it. Im the type of person who always gets talked into doing things and by living with them DH knew I would be busy running errands and favors for everyone but myself. Privacy would have been an issue too. We love our freedom and the last thing we would want is to have to be quiet while nooky-ing just in case they could hear. How embarassing would that be? I just think its a bad idea for anyone. Part of being an adult is independence. Something like that could really put strain on the relationship.
jgl
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
i would say no ( of course unless it was very necessary).
I know what it was like for my parents having my grandmother (dads mom) live with us for 12 or so years. it was hard on my mom especially, she always gave her a hard time about stuff. as much as i loved my grandmother and loved having that time with her, it can be a burden.
now my moms mother is living with my parents. so i guess now my dad gets it haha.
as i get older, and then my kids grow up, its like you are back to square one again now having your parents live with you, its just not soemthing i would choose
lizzie217
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
I think the question is too broad and it will depend on the circumstance. Both parents? At what point in my life?
My mom played with the idea of doing a two family home before DH and I bought our place and we decided against it.
Thank god both my and DH's parents are healthy and live happily in their own homes so this isnt something we have had to consider.
Espo22
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
so its not for financial reasons or health reasons? why do they want to live with you? that alone would worry me, seems to me like maybe there wont be any privacy since they want to be near you and probably will interfere too much.
HamptonsBride
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
If it was just because they wanted to be close to us...no. Buy a house down the block or something...haha.
If it was for medical reasons, or they were older and having trouble caring for themselves, then yes. My mom took care of my senile Grandma for 5 years...i could never let them go into a nursing home after doing all that for someone else.
RockysGirl
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
my mom and dad want to live closer to me, but they have their boundaries. lol. We'd never live together if it wasn't a necessity. They understand that it causes a lot of strain on people to share a home with other adults. So why on earth would we do that if we didn't have to??
HOWEVER - if it was a health reason or financial then most definitely YES!! My parents took such good care of me all of my life, I think it's only right for me to take care of them in return (if they need it). After all they did for me, I just feel like it would be so wrong & ungrateful of me I were to just turn my back on them.
bettybcafe82
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
Hmm..I dont think the post was to broad. I mean, your parents are healthy and they make their money but you had a big house with a full basement with private entrance and everything...lets just say they wanted to be close to you.....I dont really think I need to continue with this post..I see what most of your answers are I was just curious to see what you all thought
hyphenbride
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
NO! It would be a great recipe for us to NOT get along.
MsPotterhead
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
Only if it were an emergency situation.
I grew up in a two family house my parents bought with my grandparents (dad's parents). It lead to some problems and resentment. My mom says if she could do it again, they definitely would have bought their own home.
ant n tilde
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
Considering they are letting us live with them at the moment, I dont really think I could say no exactly BUT my parents are older so I would like to have them near to make sure they are keeping themselves healthy and safe.
jaep129
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
I could live with my mother. His parents no way. My mom is very independent and does her own thing. I love my MIL but she is a drinker and FIL and his girlfriend mean well but they are just different from me. DH I would have to say would agree with me b/c for most of his life he lived with his grandparents not his own parents. We would have his grandparent live with us over his parents.
wo0shply
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
I would let my dad live with me, i think its a cultural thing but I couldnt put him in a nursing home when he got older.
If it had a HUGE house I would let dh's parents live with us.
lillprincess54
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
Well, we had Dh dad live with us about a year and a half ago when his parents where going through a divorce, trust me I hope we don't have to do that again. So my answer is NO unless its an emergency
SusiBtoM
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
Interesting question. Both my parents lived with me while I was single. I took care of my mom until she died, and then kept up the household for my dad until I married and moved out. I still do many things for him. Let me clarify though, my mom was 72 when she died, my dad was 70, and I was 38.
So, from an older point of view, it can be quite burdensome. My dad is a healthy 75 now and when the time comes that he can no longer be on his own, then yes, he will move in with my husband and me unless he needs round the clock skilled nursing.
I'm not sure about DH's dad, since he and DH don't get along very well. He's also 75, not in good health, and has the beginnings of memory loss. I take care of all his finances and health records, same as I do for my own dad. To have him live in a house with us, I'm just not sure. The burden of care would fall on me - not my DH, and I just can't do it. Our Dad's are quite different - mine is self sufficient, DH's is not.
nifheim
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
I wouldn't mind if they had a separate area. Like a dedicated area just for them but attached to the house.
Toucan311
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
We moved in w/them - we have the first floor of a house, and they have the 2nd. My parents are very private. I can't imagine that would change if the house ownership situation were reversed. Plus if I run out of olive oil or toilet paper I just take theirs.
lizzie217
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
Posted by bettybcafe82
Hmm..I dont think the post was to broad. I mean, your parents are healthy and they make their money but you had a big house with a full basement with private entrance and everything...lets just say they wanted to be close to you.....I dont really think I need to continue with this post..I see what most of your answers are I was just curious to see what you all thought
Then my answer is no. We played with this idea and all agreed that it would not be the best decision for us.
In the future the answer may be different depending on health issues, age etc
MnM182008
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Re: Having your parents live with you..thoughts?
Posted by Mimacat
We moved in w/them - we have the first floor of a house, and they have the 2nd. My parents are very private. I can't imagine that would change if the house ownership situation were reversed. Plus if I run out of olive oil or toilet paper I just take theirs.
We also live with my parents. We live in our own apartment. We don't mind living here. I would do the same for my parents. They are helping us out so we can save money to purchase our own home. If for some reason financial or medical, or to help us with our children. We would not hesitate to have them move in with us (in their own separate area).
