Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

FH and I are thinking about this. I already know that I have fertility issues and am not sure if I want to go through with all of these treatments, shots, a possible surgery etc....I am so torn as to what we should do. A friend of mine told me today that his parents tried for 18 years to have a baby and then he came along and the next year his sister was born. That is a LONG time to wait for a child!

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

hrmm

I dont think of it as not having children out of choice.

I had a run in with Cancer years back that slighted (only a little) my chances. I think if it happens it does. I want one, as in singluar, but if not, I'll adopt.

Im not sure we'd want to go through that whole treatment thing, but I don't know maybe we'd change our minds. For now I'm not going to worry about it.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

Not just thinking about but....

We are not having any children. FH never wanted kids & I already have a 21 year old so I shut the factory down last year.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

We are seriously considering not having children. Though we are not 100% sure, FH seems to grow more sure everyday while I seem to grow more unsure everyday!! For now, we both agree that we are NOT sure and that NOT having children AT ALL is definitely a viable option for both of us.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

We plan to be child-free and are very happy with our choice. We love our life and have so many plans for our future together and our hobbies and personal, career goals and aspirations in life. I certainly don’t want you especially my father to flood our children’s mind, body and spirit with such negative thoughts and your negative way of parenting as you were always sending negative degrading messages to me, it was never anything encouraging or positive. Such as, upon graduating from college and searching for a job my father yelled and screamed such vulgar insults hurting me so much: “you have NO future, no life! You will NEVER find a job. What you study in college is just a skill it is NOT a profession, you MUST go to law school otherwise you have no future.” There are more positive and tactful sensitive ways to handle this to one’s son/daughter such as: “don’t worry, finding a job takes time. You will find something, keep trying, finding a job maybe somewhat easy but finding the “right” one that best suits you is not easy.” I HATE when parents use such words as “must” “should” as it forces one to do something against his/her own will. Why must I go to law school? Law school is not right for anyone as it is just like parenting is not right for everyone. Another example when my father was working on my IRS tax papers one year he wanted me to sign it and threatening someone is to him the only way he can have what he wants and whenever as well. “Sign the form otherwise you will go to JAIL! Put you in JAIL, you will go to jail if you DO NOT sign the form! I don’t care if you go to jail.” What kind of garbage do you say to your own children? Why threaten your own children to get/force them to do what YOU want them to do? I don’t even know what I’m signing my life away only know that I’m going to jail if I don’t sign it. The man NEVER explains anything to me in a step-by step manner. Again, a more positive and sensitive matter to say the opposite: “Tina, I spent a lot of time and worked very hard on it would you please sign it? I’ll explain everything also to you about how I got the numbers.” Obviously, parenthood is NOT right for every couple–either married or unmarried couples. That’s why there so many mentally sick kids who grow up to be psychologists in this world resulting from the poor parenting job. In addition, the world is over populated. Having children is purely a couple’s personal decision, no one else’s business and should not be influenced by strangers, families, parents, or anyone. It is such a private and a couple’s personal decision. Why does marriage “MUST” mean having children? Is this a law written in the constitution in the United States of America? Will a couple go to jail if they should choose not pro-create? I did not realize that not having children from a marriage was such a horrific crime in this new century! Children are NOT right for every couple, that’s why there are a lot of dysfunctional children out in this world. Parenting is not for every adult as everyone’s style and ways of upbringing with discipline is different--good or bad may not suit a child’s innocent mind. This world is no longer a great-especially safe world any more since terrorists invaded our homeland.

To each their own and one must respect that decision from a couple.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

Uuuh.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

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Posted by Misty

Uuuh.

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exactly what I was thinking.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

chmpgnrose- are you ok???

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

we're not having any - my dh is 45 and has two girls (12 &17) who are like my own! I'm 37 (on monday) and don't want to start this late in life. We are content in our decision and will focus our energies on his children.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

I basically think that each couple and each individual has to make this decision for themselves. You know best what you want out of life, and what you want as a couple. I know many couples who have chosen not to have children and it was the best decision for them.

I'm sure everyone will respect your decision no matter what it is.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

is right.

As for having children - i really dont know. Some days i think maybe, other days I think no way. I will not have children unless Im sure that its the right choice for me and my husband. Having a child under any other circumstances is not right IMO.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

I agree, what was that post about?

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

Both me and my husband have children from previous relationships that live with us. I have a 6 year old son and he has a 12 daughter and now we are one big happy family. Think that is enough for now...I am getting way old.

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

We willl start trying in a couple of years.

For a looooong time I did not want any.
As I get older my views are starting to change.

Chmpgnrose- I hope you are ok???

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

Who cares what Tina's post was about
Clearly she has been through some heartache in her life,I hope all is well with you
I respect your decision,who knows maybe a year from now you will feel differently

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

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Posted by chmpgnrose

Law school is not right for anyone...

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I hope my friends in Law School miss this one!

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

Meghan...i *think* she meant 'Law school is not for everyone'...

Re: Is anyone thinking of NOT having children?

I for one totally respect Tina's post, not saying others dont, I just mean I fully understand what she was trying to say.

Actually I wish more people out there thought like her because there would be less children who were not cared for. Many people have children over and over again and dont take the time to realize they are bringing lives onto this earth. Little people who need to be taught right from wrong, who need to be guided and loved, steered toward the right direction. Being a preschool teacher for almost 10 years, I have seen it all.

We have chosen to start ttc in the near future and we are happy with our choice. But thats not to say everyone else has to be happy with it.

And I agree with Futuremrstc...she was trying to say law school isnt right for EVERYONE. Typos happen to the best of us.