My heart is very heavy....
You all know my problems with my husband and his family and how we've tried very hard to work through our issues. This weekend the problems in our life escalated and I was told by him (after several days of him pounding on me emotionally - nit-picking, brow-beating me and micro managing everything I do) that he can say or do whatever he wants to me and I can't do a thing about it because I'm trapped with him because of the house. Literally, I'm a 'convenient' prisoner. He also told me that the puppy he bought me for my birthday last year is only mine, contingent on the survival of the relationship.
And that was it. I hit my limit with him.
Sunday I'm moving out and after I return from my trip to Ohio at the end of the month, I'll make a decision about whether I want to move ahead with an attorney. I can't do it right now because I feel emotionally drained and I need to regroup because it's going to be one hell of a fight.
I feel like I'm losing everything, but at the same time I'm gaining back my self respect because no one thing (house, etc.) is worth selling yourself out and being miserable. He's a typical Jeckyl and Hyde. Sweet and considerate in one breath and then intentionally cruel and insensitive in the next. Plus he has OCD that's escalating out of control and he won't seek help for it. He doesn't understand why I'm upset, it's like he completely forgot what he said and everytime something like this happens, I lose another piece of myself. I can't go on like this. I'm working three jobs to juggle the bills and although he works, he contributes very little to the overall expenses of the house. His car broke down and I offered him up my brand new car and now my truck is gone (sold) and I'm left with the option of fighting him for my car back or letting it go and getting another one (provided my credit is decent enough to get another one). I'm carrying the mortgage, the car payments, several loans, credit card bills, insurance (health, home, cars) and NOW I need to get another car?
I don't know what else to say. I don't even know why I'm putting this out there other than I can't speak to my family about it because they will not be surprised in the least - they think I should have called it a day years ago and my friends are tired of hearing about it. I feel like I'm screaming inside and I can't say a word and a tear hasn't been shed.
And that was it. I hit my limit with him.
Sunday I'm moving out and after I return from my trip to Ohio at the end of the month, I'll make a decision about whether I want to move ahead with an attorney. I can't do it right now because I feel emotionally drained and I need to regroup because it's going to be one hell of a fight.
I feel like I'm losing everything, but at the same time I'm gaining back my self respect because no one thing (house, etc.) is worth selling yourself out and being miserable. He's a typical Jeckyl and Hyde. Sweet and considerate in one breath and then intentionally cruel and insensitive in the next. Plus he has OCD that's escalating out of control and he won't seek help for it. He doesn't understand why I'm upset, it's like he completely forgot what he said and everytime something like this happens, I lose another piece of myself. I can't go on like this. I'm working three jobs to juggle the bills and although he works, he contributes very little to the overall expenses of the house. His car broke down and I offered him up my brand new car and now my truck is gone (sold) and I'm left with the option of fighting him for my car back or letting it go and getting another one (provided my credit is decent enough to get another one). I'm carrying the mortgage, the car payments, several loans, credit card bills, insurance (health, home, cars) and NOW I need to get another car?
I don't know what else to say. I don't even know why I'm putting this out there other than I can't speak to my family about it because they will not be surprised in the least - they think I should have called it a day years ago and my friends are tired of hearing about it. I feel like I'm screaming inside and I can't say a word and a tear hasn't been shed.
