For Newlyweds Only - Newlywed question for March 28th

swags1016 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:00 AM

Newlywed question for March 28th

Household chores. Most of us don't love them but how did you divide them up??? Does your DH share in them with you? Do you think that it's equal??

I will say my DH is pretty good and I am pretty lucky, just don't let him wash any pots- YUCH

We do the food shopping together

If I am cleaning he will usually clean another room while I work on one. He does the vacuuming and shares in the sweeping (lots of wood floors) Dishes, whoever turns the dishwasher on, the other has to unload it. He makes the bed everyday (but since he works opposite shift he has no choice)

The one room he will not clean is the bathroom.

TracyInQueens Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:06 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

We try to share the cooking, because we both like to do it. DH will luckily pick up his share- I probably do a little more but he does things I hate (laundry, cleaning the cat box, vacuuming. He also does the dishes most of the time). I clean the bathroom but since I hate the cat box more (and that needs more attention since we have 3 cats) and I do most of the general 'straightening'. I don't mind. I have no complaints about the division of labor.

Jan05Bride Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:07 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

OK, I love your questions each day!

Dh will do whatever I ask him to do. Absolutely anything - clean the bathroom, change the sheets, do the laundry, take out the garbage, make dinner, etc ... but ... I have to ask him. He never *thinks* to do it on his own and that's the part that gets me frustrated. He lets me plan out what needs to get done and wil take care of anything I ask.

He offers to food shop each week (I make the meal plan & shopping list) and he go to the dry cleaner each week so that's definitely a plus.

lilmrs Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:14 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

For the most part, we have a deal that he will deal with all the outside stuff (mowing, hedgined, edging, raking ect) and I will handle the typical inside stuff.
It seems to work for us (most of the time at least)! When it comes to cooking, we have a deal that whoever cooked does not do the cleaning up afterwards which also really works for us.

shawl Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:24 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

We are trying to outsource as much as possible because we're both working crazy hours these days. So we recently hired a cleaning lady, we order our groceries from FreshDirect (we live in a city), and we order dinner in way more than we should.

In terms of other household chores, I'm generally the one who ends up doing them because of timing issues. I can work at home if need be, and my office is 5 mins from home (but DH has a 45 commute) and our laundry room closes at 9pm ( ), which means that I'm usually the one who ends up doing the laundry. Same with dinner, although we try to be good and cook on the weekends so that we'll have enough left over for the week.

VickiC Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:29 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Posted by Jan05Bride

OK, I love your questions each day!

Dh will do whatever I ask him to do. Absolutely anything - clean the bathroom, change the sheets, do the laundry, take out the garbage, make dinner, etc ... but ... I have to ask him. He never *thinks* to do it on his own and that's the part that gets me frustrated. He lets me plan out what needs to get done and wil take care of anything I ask.

This is how it is with us as well. He'll do anything I ask him to, but he probably won't think to do it first.

It works for us, and I really don't mind that I ask him to do things. There are times when he'll surprise me and have the whole kitchen cleaned or the office all straightened up without me asking and dinner on the table when I come home from work.

Anniegrl Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:36 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

DH will do what I ask him to do but he'll usually wait until like 9pm on Sunday night to do it
I want the house cleaned Saturday morning so that I can enjoy a clean house all weekend and then not have to worry about it.

DH has to be prompted what to do also. For some reason it doesn't bother him that there are clothes piled up on the floor, but yet when we go to the gym it drives him insane when the weights are out of place

RedHead Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:38 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Well i do think it is pretty equal...
He does 99% of the cooking so i do the majority of the cleaning.

shamrock12472 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:59 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Dh doesn't do all that much around the house. He usually doesn't do anything unless I ask him to and then he does it when he feels like it. I don't think he has ever put away dishes or unloaded the dishwasher. He hasn't ever cleaned the bathroom. Some times he washes the dishes because they are in the sink. It really gets to me because I feel like I do all the upkeep and it isn't fair. He is trying to get better. I can't vaccuum because I hurt my back so he has done it once but I have to constantly nag him to do it. This happens to be one of my sore spots.

Moehick Posted: Mar 28, 2005 09:54 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

DH does the laundry for the most part and I do the dusting and cleaning.

DH does the shower and I do the floor

We share cooking and grocery shopping resonsibilities!

wood2be Posted: Mar 28, 2005 10:14 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

The only thing DH does is his own laundry and never mine. He will let me do his colors when he has no time, but NEVER his whites. He insists that 'some things should remain private' What's up with that? I'm afraid to even look at his 'drawers'!!

palebride Posted: Mar 28, 2005 10:28 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

We do certain things like laundry and food shopping together....but i do about 60% of the cleaning.....the dishes and daily picking up of things...but when we have a cleaning day - we do it together.....

wc0143 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 10:40 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

I do *almost* everything on a day to day basis - mostly because I am a control freak and I don't let him help because he doesn't do it the *right* way. When we do a big clean for company or whatever, he does bathrooms and major-move-the-furniture vacuuming.

Once the weather improves, he will probably grill three nights a week otherwise I do the cooking which I enjoy.

One of his household jobs is to bring the laundry downstairs when the hamper is full but I pretty much need to remind him. He also will strip the bed & bring the stuff downstairs too.

He does pretty much ALL the outside of the house stuff. I mean, I'll plant some flowers or shovel a path for the dogs when there's snow & I'm the first one up ... but he does everything else!

FeliciaDA Posted: Mar 28, 2005 10:51 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Posted by Jan05Bride

Dh will do whatever I ask him to do. Absolutely anything - clean the bathroom, change the sheets, do the laundry, take out the garbage, make dinner, etc ... but ... I have to ask him. He never *thinks* to do it on his own and that's the part that gets me frustrated. He lets me plan out what needs to get done and wil take care of anything I ask.

Wow, this sounds exacxtly like my DH!!

Anthony will do anything when I ask him .. but its just the fact that I have to ASK HIM that gets on my nerves

I mean how many times can you reach OVER the sink that is filled with your dirty dishes until you think to youself 'self, maybe I should wash these dishes'

The only things he doesn't do (and I don't ask him to do) is clean the bathroom and do the laundry.. Everything else we try to split 50/50. Indeed he is a much better vacuumer and floor mopper than I am, so he's welcome to it!

hmm8191 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 10:55 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Posted by swags1016

The one room he will not clean is the bathroom.

That's the only room my DH will clean!!

Jan05Bride Posted: Mar 28, 2005 11:07 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Posted by FeliciaDA
Anthony will do anything when I ask him .. but its just the fact that I have to ASK HIM that gets on my nerves

That's what bothers me the most. I always say, 'I hate to feel like I'm always having to ask you to do stuff and nagging you' and his reply is 'You aren't nagging' so I guess he doesn't see it like I do ... WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK??

DrmnBlnd Posted: Mar 28, 2005 11:44 AM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Divide them up??? HAHAHA. I WISH. It's a miracle that DH even changes the toilet paper!

I ask him to do things, and then 20 mins later I find him on the computer, and I ask if he has done them, and he always says, 'Damn, I forgot.' Now, I just end up doing them myself, cause I know they'll get done. I think it's his way of getting out of doing them.

aimerliny Posted: Mar 28, 2005 04:57 PM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Hmmm...good question...we share the major chores but I think I end up doing more of the day to day straightening...

But he'll clean the bathroom or any part of the house if I remind him...he switch loads of laundry but hates folding, I'm in charge of finances but he does most of the yard work (mowing, pool, leaves, etc.). I do most of the cooking, but he'll jump in once in a while. He'll cleanup the dishes most nights...but he misses stuff here and there. I really can't complain...his wost offense is cleaning up after himself...dirty clothes don't make it to the hamper, damp towels don't get hung-up, empty soda bottles never make it to the trash...

CheeChee Posted: Mar 28, 2005 08:48 PM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

Neither one of us cooks, and i do all the cleaning because I am a control freak and have OCD when it comes to cleaning, he cant understand why I MUST vacuum every single day but i tell him 'please just leave me and my disease alone thanks'.... seems to work..

JimmysBride Posted: Mar 28, 2005 09:00 PM

Re: Newlywed question for March 28th

We divide things up pretty equally and I love him for how much he takes on, really I do. He knows how I feel about cooking (if I'm not in the mood - don't even mention it!) and he's more than willing to do the cleaning too. So our system is during the week one of us chooses the task for the day (cook or clean) and the other has to do whichever wasn't picked so if I say I'm cleaning - he has to cook.

Then, on Saturdays we divide the house up into rooms and we both get it done.

It took us a while to get into the groove and get things right in this area, especially since I can be a pain about stuff like this, but I think it's working pretty well now. He's a good husband!