NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

Clover23 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 06:54 AM

NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

And a happy monday morning to you all! I'm not usually this happy on Mondays but I'm off on Thursday and Friday

So here's today's question...

I've noticed this is a point of disagreement amongst my girlfriends, so i'm throwing it out to y'all. We've all been at the point, or will be, where we are looking to buy our first home/apt/condo/etc. If your parents, or DH's parents offered to give you SIGNIFICANT monetary help (loan or gift) to make it happen, would you take the money or wait until you could do it on your own?
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I think for us, if the offer came from DH's parents, we wouldn't take it. I'd feel like there was too much potential for there being 'strings attached' and they'd constantly make it known that we wouldn't have done it without their help. If it were my parents, we'd probably accept the help. Ideally this is something we'd want to do on our own, without help, but the reality is that with my law school and his grad school loans, savings has been slow. And there's only so long we can stay in MIL's house.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Aug 02, 2010 07:16 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

My parents are normal, and we would accept it from them.

DH's mom is nuts and would then think that if she gave us $$$, then she gets a say in all decisions regarding the new abode.

His dad is mad chill though. But we couldn't take it from them...its just not worth the long-term issues.

Alyssa79 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 07:48 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

i'd be cool taking it from my rents b/c they are cool with stuff like that.

FH's mom on the other hand...i don't know..maybe as long as we set some ground rules like there's no paying her back with 1050450405% interest and she CANNOT pull an Everyone Loves Raymond

miamimerger Posted: Aug 02, 2010 07:57 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

It would never happen from my mom, she just wouldn't be able to afford it. But if DH's dad offered money, we'd probably take it. I doubt that will ever happen though .

T E R I Posted: Aug 02, 2010 07:57 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

DH's parents gave us the closing costs for the house and there are no strings over our heads about it at all. They also gave us other money towards the house because they did it for DH's brother and sister, so they felt its only fair to do the same for us. And they aren't holding anything over our heads about it and we are never reminded about it

MrsC2010 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:04 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

I think we would accept it. It would be nice to do it on our own, but if one of our parents were generous enough to give us $$ I don't think we could turn that down. I don't think either of our parents would be crazy and hold it over our heads.

StaceyWill Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:09 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

Hmmmmm. I think I'd have to decline $$ from either side. I have a problem accepting $$ from people, even my mom.

SummerBride10 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:10 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

I would take it. We'd love a house now but I doubt we could afford it. Plus with the cost of houses so much lower now I'd rather jump on the opportunity now.

PROBM Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:22 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

depends on family just like you said. dhs dad helped us and i plan on helping my kids no strings attached

stinenandy2010 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:29 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

Lol I actually had this offer last year when we were buying our home. Dh's mom said she would give us $100k towards the house if she could live with us. I told her she could offer me a million and the answer would still be no.

If my parents offered, I would consider it. My parents are the most generous nicest people ever but I would almost feel guilty taking a large sum from them.

julesrbf Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:33 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

I don't know. I grew up pretty poor so I feel odd accepting anything from anybody. DH's mom gave us some money for the wedding (mostly, we paid for everything) and I still feel weird about it. My mom would certainly offer it if she had it, but she just doesn't.

I don't know that I could accept it, unless it was lottery money!

Rosalind_75 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:36 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

if my mom offered it to us i would take it. she not the type to tell me what to do with coin.

not sure about mil.

MR1223 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:48 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

i dont think we would accept the money if either side offered. they both helped out a little bit with the wedding but a house is our thing. we would want to do it on our own completely.

Watever143 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 08:53 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

This question comes up alot in my family...My parents always say about giving us money towrd a house but get like a mother daugther house or father....Sometimes I think it would be great but other time i dno....It maybe be great if I had kids bc then one of them could watch them,....
he family wouldnt even offer anything like that

christine2010 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 09:36 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

DH & I would never put ourselves into that situation. We have seen way too many times where friends did this & they got screwed.

es2189 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 10:41 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

my parents paid the down payment on our house. so yes, we took it. my parents are very generous, and not really the type to dictate how we spend our money (although this money was clearly given as the down payment on the house...not to do as we liked). i can't really imagine having turned it down...maybe because we'd talked about him buying me and my sister houses for a long time.

edited for spelling

CappyGirl Posted: Aug 02, 2010 11:28 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

I would take it. Especially since my parents paid for our wedding, I'd kind of feel like it were fair, but no such offer is coming our way . . .

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Aug 02, 2010 11:38 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

We used all the money received from the wedding as down payment and borrowed the closing costs from FIL... We pay him back a small amt each month... We just couldn't pass up on a house with great interest rates just bc we couldnt come up with some of the money... Knowing us, if we had waited till we had all the $, the savings would have just dwindled and we would have never bought a place

gina409 Posted: Aug 02, 2010 11:58 AM

Re: NWQOTD Monday 8/2/10

this could never happen cause i have 4 siblings and dh has 2 so if u r giving us then u r giving all

but if we were only children well thats another story