POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

I am curious of how many success stories are out there b/c a very religious person said something to this affect today and I do not agree:

If you live together before you are married, it will not work b/c it is not part of God's Plan so I am curious

did you YES, live w/ DH
NO, we did not
or I would never think of it!

we lived together about six months.

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

Hi Tammy!
I lived with Scott before the wedding and so far, so good....

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

We lived together for 3 years prior to getting married.

I would never even marry someone w/o living with them first.

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

I personally after living beforehand think it is better b/c there are less surprises lol
if you didnt live together certain things might bother you more if you discover them after marriage, whereas, you were already used to it

Hi KEL

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

I agree.

How are ya sweetie?

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

Kelly- sent u a FM

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

We moved in together after dating for only 5 months

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

Im not even going to start in on people who talk about whats in 'god's plan'. How would anyone know what is in Gods plan? Are they have private chats with them when Im not around? Its purely an idiotic thing to say...and when people say things like that it can usually be translated into 'I want you to do what I think is right even though I dont have a good reason so Im going to bring God into it b/c no one can dispute something i made up'.

Yes, we lived together. For me it was something that was an absolute pre-requisite before i would even consider marrying someone. Everyone is different in this regard and there is no right or wrong. Everyone needs to do what is right for them. Marriages that started off as living together can be successful just as the ones that start off sepearate can be sucessful (the fact that more couples who live together get divorced is NOT TRUE..its a manipulation of the data which i can go into more detail about but i will not bore you with the numbers here.)

Living together is the real thing. You get to know each others habits - good and bad. You get to know each others lifestyles..not just what someone says they are like but what they are really like. Spending a lot of time together but not living together is not the same as living together, sharing the everyday chores, sharing a bathroom, paying the bills togehter and a million other things that couples that dont live together experience for the first time after they are married. Some couples want to wait for those experiences until after they are married and that is perfectly valid - as long as they are making that decision for themselves - not for their parents or for 'god' or anyone else. No one but you will have to be married to this man so no one but you should have a say.

For me - that is not something I wanted to experience after we said our vows - i wanted to know all the facts going in.

( Sorry so long but this issue really upsets me b/c there is so much false information out there. )

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

No, we lived together after our wedding not before.

I was not and he would have not have had me move across the country and moving as frequently as we do without the benefit of marriage and we did a LDR for two year prior to our wedding and got sick of only seeing each other every 3 weeks.

Since our wedding I have moved from Long Island to Pensacola, Florida ( 10 months) and then to Corpus Christi, Texas (should be here 7 months) then off to Little Rock, Arkansas (for 5 months) and then Germany or Alaska for three years.

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

I dated my DH for 3.5 years and we maintained separate apartments. During the summer of 2000, we found a house and bought it. I not only took a gamble on buying the house with him, but I gave up my apartment and moved in with him too. We got engaged 2 months later, so it worked out in the end .

I do think though that if we hadn't found the house and bought it, I might have eventually married my DH without living together first. Either way, he was the one and living together was certainly not a prerequesite for marriage for me. It just happens that we did and things are going rather well

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

Stef- No need to be sorry, everything you said made sense, I got annoyed when I heard this for some of the reasons you said............
he said he would tell his daughter.... you can live together but it will not work out b/c its not God's plan but who is to say people that live together will not work out

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

We moved in together about 10 months after we began dating. Exactly three years after moving into our apartment, we moved into our house just about four years ago. This September we celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary.

I knew since our first date that we would get married .. and before our first date figured we probably would get married. (Woman's intuition!!).

The main reason the wedding took so long to happen for us, was because of timing and financial reasons.

And despite thinking before we moved in together that we shouldn't live together before the wedding .. the truth is .. I feel 'home' when I'm with my husband .. so while we were dating, and he had a place he shared with his friends before we got our own apartment, it was just natural to fall asleep there than to go to back to my house .. he gives me this content feeling that's hard to leave .. so that made getting an apartment together a strong desire. In our hearts we were married, officially it just came a little late.

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

we did

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

We did for almost 2 yrs. I think you get to know the person better

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

We didn't live together until we got married but if we had the opportunity I would have liked to have lived together before marriage.

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

we did for about 3 years.

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

I knew the night of my first date with Jeff that I was going to marry him. Heck, I knew the moment I shook his hand that I would marry him! After 10 months of a LDR, I just could not be without him every single day, which is why I moved 3,000 miles away from family. I never thought twice about living with him before we were married b/c I knew that was our future.

To have feelings THAT STRONG for someone and KNOW that it is meant to be IS God's plan. It's just that God's plan is DIFFERENT for everyone

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

We purchased a one bedroom cooperative apartment, closed in March 2002. We moved in together in May 2002 with furniture pending. Our wedding was in August 2002. Prior to May 2002, no we did not live together. It was a matter of saving money before we could afford to live together. We lived with our parents before being engaged.

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

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Posted by Sonicstef

Im not even going to start in on people who talk about whats in 'god's plan'. How would anyone know what is in Gods plan? Are they have private chats with them when Im not around? Its purely an idiotic thing to say...and when people say things like that it can usually be translated into 'I want you to do what I think is right even though I dont have a good reason so Im going to bring God into it b/c no one can dispute something i made up'.

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Stef- I couldn't agree more!!!! Ughh! that annoys me SOOOO much when people say stuff like that!!


I'd been living together with DH for almost 7 years when we got married in June. I know a couple of people who waited till after they got married, and honestly, they said they had a very difficult time with the first year or so just learning how to live together.

Re: POLL: Did you or did you not live w/ DH before you got married?

we did but only for 4 1/2 months