Just curious...is anyone thinking of motherhood or is it way to early? I feel so old...I am 29 and I kind of think I am the mean age for marriage but if you think about it, they say pregnancy after 35 is harder. I feel like I am rushed now. Plus I dont want to be 80 at my childs graduation ; )
nov04LIbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
The mean age for marriage nationwide is something like 23 for women, but I don't think there is a 'right' age to become a mother--whenever you feel right. I know I am 27 and there is still a great deal I want to accomplish before we start. I'd love to have my kids at 32 and 35 (God willing), which is when my mother had my brother and me. It enabled her to finish grad. school and travel to Europe before tied down to kids. DH and I are trying to get as many vacations in while we have the time and money!
PKASHANSKY
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I forgot to mention I have a masters degree in psychology and am going for my doctrine. My husband is a hospital administrator. This is the reason why I feel it is the next step. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same position feeling like this is whats next? or feeling rushed by others thoughts.
mrsdtobee
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I'm feelin ya...but at 36 and only married 6 months I feel that I still need to wait until at least we hit the one year anniversary mark to get that ball rolling. We are in the process of looking for and hopefully buying our first home and then we want at least one more vacation alone....the doctor tells me that as long as I have my regular periods (I know, TMI) that I should be ok to start next year, but if after 6 months nothing happens, then we'll have to try to actually 'work' on starting a family with help from the doctors.
Don't feel that you have to rush into this. I think you'll just know when the time is right.
dpli
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
If it helps at all....I am 37 and not quite ready yet. I know I can't wait too long, but we wanted at least a year to enjoy being married before planning to have kids. I am also trying to finish up a graduate degree, which I am pretty sure won't happen if I were to get pregnant now. You can't unring the bell, so I would rather wait one more year, when I am better prepared for it.
MrsA814
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
We started trying cause my dh is older then me
jeanla4c
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I am 31 and know we probably should be starting but we are not ready with just being married and I am working on my doctorate...probably after coursework is done! I am not mentally ready for it as well--in about 2 years probably, not as early as I always hoped but still fine!!
SomethingBlu
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
My DH would get preggo if he could. But since he can't, we're waiting. I want to have our first before I'm 30 and be done before 35. I read an article about fertility on Vanity Fair last month that terrified me...definitely interesting for those waiting. It's a lifelong commitment though...so proceed with caution, patience and unconditional love. Like someone said, you can't unring the bell.
Sep05bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I would love to have kids, we are not quite sure we are ready just yet. We want to travel a bit and enjoy being married for a while. If it happens we would love it just the same
wood2be
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I'm starting to feel really rushed. I'm 38, 37 when we got married. Despite my age, we wanted to wait at least a year after we got married. I still don't know if I'm ready
karenk71
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
We are trying! I am 34 and he is 39....and we've been together for 13 years tomorrow, so we are definitely ready. We just got back from our 'one more vacation alone'....and we've done so much for ourselves over the years. It is definitely time for us.
nov04LIbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
Posted by PKASHANSKY
I forgot to mention I have a masters degree in psychology and am going for my doctrine. My husband is a hospital administrator. This is the reason why I feel it is the next step. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same position feeling like this is whats next? or feeling rushed by others thoughts.
Why is it the next step after your masters? I have two more years left with my doctoral program, and I am finishing that first, because I know I would either take considerably longer if I had a baby first, or not complete it at all. I don't feel rushed at all. My SIL and BIL just had a baby, and are over 5 years younger than us, but seeing how every minute needs to be devoted to the baby actually has made me realize there is a great deal more to do before I am willing to give up everything I want to accomplish first.
Sweetd
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I am 29 also. I feel the same way you do. But I have to wait, b/c we don't have the money right now. I'm not ready right now anyway. I still want to do some traveling and have my freedom to do what I want.
nferrandi
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I've been married almost a year already and I'll be going off the pill in a week (after we get back from our anniversary trip).
hocus
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I think you might want to consider what is next. What do plan on doing with your doctoral degree? Are you going to attempt to teach in college, or will you go into the private sector? Do you think that having a small child will hurt you when you attempt to write your dissertation?
You might want to get the book -- Your academic career. I found it very helpful.
Posted by PKASHANSKY
I forgot to mention I have a masters degree in psychology and am going for my doctrine. My husband is a hospital administrator. This is the reason why I feel it is the next step. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same position feeling like this is whats next? or feeling rushed by others thoughts.
justshir
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
not to rush you....
my doctor mentioned after 30 years of age for a woman it would be more difficult. but it does not mean it's impossible to have a healthy pregnancy. early this year i was diagnosed with early menopause. i'm not saying early menopause could happen to you but women do have a biological clock as opposed to men. damn those men. they could shoot their glory even at teh ago of 80... i'm bitter =) my best advice is for you to seek out a gyno and maybe a reproductive endocrinologist. i just wish i knew about this years ago.
Fern'sGirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I don't think it's too soon. It becomes harder and harder to have babies after the age of 25...we loose a ridiculous amount of eggs after the age of 25...there was a great article that I read about this and I can't recall where...I'll give it some thought and repost. I think the hardes thing is that we feel young and we have a lot of things on our plate like career, travel, marriage, but we have to remember that our bodies are on a different clock and sometimes we tend to forget about that. I personally don't want to have kids after 35..I want to be done and overwith because I still want to be a young mom and not have to deal with a toddler any later than that and also because I don't want to have difficulty getting pregnant.
Blu-ize
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
I'm 38 and not ready
I don't know if I'll ever be ready
Blu-ize
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
Posted by Blu-ize
I'm 38 and not ready
I don't know if I'll ever be ready
Having said that, I think you know when you want to have kids and whenever that is you have to feel comfortable with it. Age is a factor, but not always are you in tune with your clock. My doc says we will worry about it when we're ready. No pressure. Have them when you think you are ready.
tourist
Posted:
Member since
Re: pregnancy?
Posted by nferrandi
I've been married almost a year already and I'll be going off the pill in a week (after we get back from our anniversary trip).
See, it really does vary. Nicole & I were married on the same day & I am a few years older, I think (also 29) & I am definitely not ready.
I don't think it has to be either right now, or after 35. What about the 6 years in between. Unless you want 6 kids, wait a few years. In 3 years, you will only be 32. You could change a lot in 3 years.
