Reading a book and it made me think -

EverlovingEv Posted: Apr 27, 2008 09:44 PM

Reading a book and it made me think -

are you and DH on the same page when it comes to kids? Like how many you want to have, when you want to have them etc...

(I'm reading Baby Proof btw)

DH and I both want kids but much later. Probably 2-3 years from now.

How about you?

Renee615 Posted: Apr 27, 2008 09:46 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

That's a good book. I made sure right from the start that DH and I were on the same page with kids.

Aug07OFCbride Posted: Apr 27, 2008 09:56 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

yep, we're on the same page. we're going to see how I do after our first time around (I have a health condition so..) and then go from there. We would both love 2 or 3. And we know, realistically, the best time frame for us is about 3-4 yrs down the road (due to my doctoral program).

like renee said, children is one thing we talked about early on..there aint much compromising when one wants and one doesn't.

we can't wait to have babies!! wish we could now.

MushesGirl Posted: Apr 27, 2008 10:04 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Before dh and I even got serious when we were dating I brought this up (I've never wanted kids, never had the desire so it was important I get that out there early on) and dh doesn't either. So yes, we are definitely on the same page, there's no compromise on that one!

Cpt2007 Posted: Apr 27, 2008 10:08 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

first off, great book (as are the others she's done). and no, DH and I are not on the same schedule at all. He wants them now, and I want a little more time. I thought we had agreed to a two year wait period so we would know what we are doing, etc (there's a very good chance we are moving back to NY at the end of this year), and all he can talk about is leaving DC now, and starting to TTC now. ugh. It's not that I don't want kids--I do, I want 3--but I'm just not mentally ready yet to even think about it.

sorry for the mini-vent. he is driving me nuts with the baby fever!

HamptonsBride Posted: Apr 27, 2008 10:17 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Posted by MushesGirl

Before dh and I even got serious when we were dating I brought this up (I've never wanted kids, never had the desire so it was important I get that out there early on) and dh doesn't either. So yes, we are definitely on the same page, there's no compromise on that one!

no kids for us either...Dh asked me before we got engaged if i still didn't want them...and checked again before we the wedding...

Butterfly123 Posted: Apr 27, 2008 10:19 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Were kinda on the same page. He just seems a little more excited about it right now than I am. I dont get excited when I think about having kids and I feel bad about it so I just try not to talk about it! As far as how many we want, I think weve mentioned 2. I dont think Id want more than that.

joshisgirl Posted: Apr 27, 2008 10:32 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

i hope we're on the same page , we do want 2, but he would prefer one in 2-3 years but i'd rather wait 4-5 years. i told him this already but i dont think he was too accepting.

MrsQ-in2007 Posted: Apr 27, 2008 10:33 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Before we got married, we made sure to discuss this - I told him I didn't want to wait more than 1 year after marriage to get pregnant since I wanted to have my first before I turn 30; he wanted to wait like 2 years.

In the end we kinda compromised that we'd see where we were after 1 year. Now that its been 6 months, we've discussed it again because I really don't feel ready and want to wait longer! LOL. So I think we'll fall into DH's original timeframe. I'm thinking around our 2 year anniversary.

I wanted 2-3 kids, DH wanted 2. We agreed on 2 pregnancies (twins run in my family). But now I'm leaning more towards just stopping after 2 - even if we have twins first (we likely won't anyway).

Babies are a lot of responsibility, work, and are expensive. I really look forward to the day we have kids, but I think that waiting for the right time for the couple is SUPREMELY important.

That said, I've been having some baby fever lately, lol. Not enough to want to change our plans though.

drpepper318 Posted: Apr 27, 2008 10:42 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Yep same page... we both still don't know what we want! But we do know that now's not the time anyway.

davenjess Posted: Apr 27, 2008 10:50 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

i want 2.....BUT - if we have two boys or two girls....i'd want to try for a third....but Dave says no way...other than that - we're on the same page.

It's scaring him a little bit that we're trying in a few weeks - but it's just the whole, will i be a good daddy thing...

donegal419 Posted: Apr 27, 2008 11:39 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Yes, we are on the same page.

We agree that when it happens it happens. We have not put a time stamp on it: i.e. ' in two years' or 'after we do x, y, or z.'

We also agree on the number of children.... and that is open-ended---whatever God gives us. We would like at least 3....and can imagine 4 or 5 too.

JennNicole Posted: Apr 27, 2008 11:45 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Posted by Cpt2007

first off, great book (as are the others she's done). and no, DH and I are not on the same schedule at all. He wants them now, and I want a little more time. I thought we had agreed to a two year wait period so we would know what we are doing, etc (there's a very good chance we are moving back to NY at the end of this year), and all he can talk about is leaving DC now, and starting to TTC now. ugh. It's not that I don't want kids--I do, I want 3--but I'm just not mentally ready yet to even think about it.

sorry for the mini-vent. he is driving me nuts with the baby fever!

OMgosh you sure our Hubs are not speaking with one another

PreshusSmurf Posted: Apr 28, 2008 12:12 AM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

We are pretty much on the same page ....

As far as timing goes, we agree that we want to wait at least until I am healthy again ... and after we buy our first home (which hopefully will happen this year), and have some time to enjoy living there. We will probably start TTC in 2 - 3 years.

I thought we were on the same page for the # of children, that we wanted 2 ... ideally 1 boy and 1 girl, but happy with whatever we are blessed with. The other day he casually mentioned that he might want to try for a 3rd if we had 1 of each b/c boys should have brothers.

kahlua716 Posted: Apr 28, 2008 02:23 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Posted by gemmifer

Posted by Cpt2007

first off, great book (as are the others she's done). and no, DH and I are not on the same schedule at all. He wants them now, and I want a little more time. I thought we had agreed to a two year wait period so we would know what we are doing, etc (there's a very good chance we are moving back to NY at the end of this year), and all he can talk about is leaving DC now, and starting to TTC now. ugh. It's not that I don't want kids--I do, I want 3--but I'm just not mentally ready yet to even think about it.

sorry for the mini-vent. he is driving me nuts with the baby fever!

OMgosh you sure our Hubs are not speaking with one another

Mine's right there too!

milana Posted: Apr 28, 2008 02:24 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

Yeap we are on the same page. We both want kids in a couple of years.

PattyK Posted: Apr 28, 2008 02:37 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

We talked about this when we first started dating and we are on the same page. Ideally we would like to have 2 children, but we may only have time to have one child (since I am over 40). We decided not to put ourselves on a time line, but rather when & if it happens, it happens.

DeannaNDave07 Posted: Apr 28, 2008 02:40 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

we are totally on the same page!!
there is one on the way!! expecting in Oct..
and we want all together 2, maybe 3!

PeteysBride Posted: Apr 28, 2008 02:50 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

DH and I were open from the beginning. He didnt really want kids. I at the time didn't either but now...

I do. he is still dragging his feet because he doesn't wnat to be an old parents and we won't be ready to have kids for at least 3 years if not more. I ant to finish school and have started teaching so my job is safer which is after 3 years (tenure).

But he is already 32 going on 33 and eh was damant about not wanting to be a 35 yr old Dad....So i am not sure where that leaves us.

I want kids BUT I agreed to the possibility of not having them so we're going to see where life leads us. If not I will just be Titi Jenn to Lupita and Yesi's kids

BlushingBride714 Posted: Apr 28, 2008 03:05 PM

Re: Reading a book and it made me think -

This is such a raw subject with DH and I right now.... Long story short, when we got married about 9 months ago we were on the same page - we both wanted kids. About a month later, I was diagnosed with liver disease. That news changed my outlook on EVERYTHING! Now I am on the transplant list and I have been talking to my doctors (all 30 of them! lol.) and each one has a different opinion on my body being able to have kids. Not to mention all the lifestyle changes that a transplant are going to bring about. As a result of all of this, I have completely lost the desire to have children. I used to see kids and think 'oh man, I can't wait to have my own' and now I think it would just be selfish to bring a kid into this. DH completely disagrees. So now we are at odds with what we should do. And like everyone said - there is really no compromise on this one, either you have kids or you don't. It's actually been a really big issue with us lately because we had talked about trying a year after being married which is coming up really quick but I just don't know..... Maybe I'll see what this book is about.