Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Original post by lizzie217

Apr 23, 2009 10:06 AM

I read this on the relationship board and it made me angry how many women are stuck doing EVERYTHING in their house

DH and I share responsiblites...I work to ya know! Sure I think I end up doing more...but we shoot for 50/50. Since I get home earlier I think I assume more responsibilites for errands..but from the second we moved in together (after the wedding) I made it clear that I am not the work horse....I think some women like doing all the work (my mom does) I do not and feel that if I did I would resent my DH...plus he grew up with a dad that helped his mom A LOT...so I think that is a huge influence on him...

Opinions

EsquireBride Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:15 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

We try to do stuff equally but since I work longer hours he winds up doing more around the house. Plus he is a far better cook! Is it bad to say that since we moved in together over a year and a half ago I have never turned on the dishwasher or used the vacuum cleaner? But I do take out the garbage whenever he asks! We also still do our own laundry, so that is split evenly - and for common items, like towels and sheets, whoever has extra space in their laundry load does it.

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:17 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by FinallyEngaged

Posted by Princess Cut Bride

Posted by ant n tilde

I do everything. Sometimes it bugs me but I got into a groove so most of the time its okay!

That's me too!

That is me three....

Although i am not going to Lie, DH will pick up the vacumm and if he sees dishes in the sink he will wash them. My favorite is when he emptys out the dishwasher for me!!!!!!

I haaaate emptying the dishwasher! DH has been doing this for me lately, and putting it on when it's full if I am not home.

ant n tilde Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:22 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by TrueLoveIn2008

Posted by FinallyEngaged

Posted by Princess Cut Bride

Posted by ant n tilde

I do everything. Sometimes it bugs me but I got into a groove so most of the time its okay!

That's me too!

That is me three....

Although i am not going to Lie, DH will pick up the vacumm and if he sees dishes in the sink he will wash them. My favorite is when he emptys out the dishwasher for me!!!!!!

I haaaate emptying the dishwasher! DH has been doing this for me lately, and putting it on when it's full if I am not home.

cry me a river girls, no dishwasher here!

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:27 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by TrueLoveIn2008

Posted by FinallyEngaged

Posted by Princess Cut Bride

Posted by ant n tilde

I do everything. Sometimes it bugs me but I got into a groove so most of the time its okay!

That's me too!

That is me three....

Although i am not going to Lie, DH will pick up the vacumm and if he sees dishes in the sink he will wash them. My favorite is when he emptys out the dishwasher for me!!!!!!

I haaaate emptying the dishwasher! DH has been doing this for me lately, and putting it on when it's full if I am not home.

cry me a river girls, no dishwasher here!

Oh I feel for you. In my last apt. I did not have one (3 years) and when we first moved in to the apt we are in now, we didn't - DH got one for me FOR CHRISTMAS.

ant n tilde Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:32 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by TrueLoveIn2008

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by TrueLoveIn2008

Posted by FinallyEngaged

Posted by Princess Cut Bride

Posted by ant n tilde

I do everything. Sometimes it bugs me but I got into a groove so most of the time its okay!

That's me too!

That is me three....

Although i am not going to Lie, DH will pick up the vacumm and if he sees dishes in the sink he will wash them. My favorite is when he emptys out the dishwasher for me!!!!!!

I haaaate emptying the dishwasher! DH has been doing this for me lately, and putting it on when it's full if I am not home.

cry me a river girls, no dishwasher here!

Oh I feel for you. In my last apt. I did not have one (3 years) and when we first moved in to the apt we are in now, we didn't - DH got one for me FOR CHRISTMAS.

HA! Well I am not moving into my next place until there is a DW up and running!

GinaZ Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:33 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

I do a lot more than my DH. he helps. But, for example, I still do it. Like just now he called me from home and asked if the dishwasher was clean or dirty. I said to look. LOL. And he said he couldnt tell. ??? Ya I dunno. Then he called to ask me if he should put a pot on top or on the bottom. And if I asked him to scrub the shower he wouldnt have a clue what I was talking about. He never ahd to lift a finger growing up. but I will give him credit that he will do laundry. And all the ironing.

MikeandJess Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:34 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by ant n tilde

cry me a river girls, no dishwasher here!

me neither! We eat off a lot of paper.

SB7308 Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:36 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by Mimacat

I do it ALL. Because I want it done my way.

Me too. He does it all wrong

ant n tilde Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:40 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by MikeandJess

Posted by ant n tilde

cry me a river girls, no dishwasher here!

me neither! We eat off a lot of paper.

LOL I never had one growing up either, I am too cheap to use paper!

Brila09 Posted: Apr 23, 2009 11:48 AM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

I think for the most part we've taken on responsiblities equally. I do the cooking, DH does the dishes. I do all of the cleaning of the apartment except the toilet and the cats litterbox. We do our own laundry. Once in a while I'll get frustrated, but it could be a lot worse. I could be stuck doing it all.

Mici n KC Posted: Apr 23, 2009 12:25 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

I do the majority of the cleaning, but DH works longer hours than me. Although sometimes he gets home early from his first job so he'll nap bc he's tired My cleaning routine is for Friday nights and I get it done before DH gets home. He does do the laundry though, but he also does a lot in our yard and scraps metal, which is extra cash in our pocket, so I can't complain about that. I like to have a cleaning schedule, but with him not so much. If I can't get my cleaning done on Friday nights, we do it together on Saturday morning.

ant n tilde Posted: Apr 23, 2009 12:28 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by Mici n KC

I do the majority of the cleaning, but DH works longer hours than me. Although sometimes he gets home early from his first job so he'll nap bc he's tired My cleaning routine is for Friday nights and I get it done before DH gets home. He does do the laundry though, but he also does a lot in our yard and scraps metal, which is extra cash in our pocket, so I can't complain about that. I like to have a cleaning schedule, but with him not so much. If I can't get my cleaning done on Friday nights, we do it together on Saturday morning.

I love my schedule and hate when its messed up even by something GOOD! LOL

Friday nights I do laundry Saturdays I clean - i give myself three hours to clean the entire apartment and I am usually done within that time!

kristin597 Posted: Apr 23, 2009 12:35 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

I do most of the household chores. If I ask DH to do something he will, but there is really no intiative to do it on his own. The only thing he does is take out the garbage...but he doesnt put the new garbage bag in the trashcan

Kimbalina Posted: Apr 23, 2009 12:38 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

I do almost everything. We both work FT and then he also has a PT job. So I pick up most of the slack.

Dee0522 Posted: Apr 23, 2009 01:19 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by kristin597

I do most of the household chores. If I ask DH to do something he will, but there is really no intiative to do it on his own. The only thing he does is take out the garbage...but he doesnt put the new garbage bag in the trashcan

Ughhh I hate this!!! My DH NEVER puts a new bag in. And 9 times out of 10, I will throw something in there before I realize there's no bag. Grrrr!

I do pretty much everything in our house. DH works much longer hours than I do, and he has a long commute so I don't really blame him during the week for not wanting to do anything. Occasionally he'll do the laundry, but that's very infrequent. Other than that, the only time he helps me is when we're having company! I am so jealous of you girls whose DH's cook!!!

SparkyandAng Posted: Apr 23, 2009 01:52 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by futuremrsfab

while I dont do everything- I do a lot. DH works longer hours than I do however, I wish he would help more.

If I ask him to do something- he does it- but he would never like think to vaccum on his own- he has to be asked

Exactly, only my DH works less hours than me BUT will do all the running around errands that I can't get to (like CVS, returning stuff) b/c I take the train to LIC and I don't go out at lunch.

He hates cleaning and would never think of it on his own but if asked, he will do it.

SparkyandAng Posted: Apr 23, 2009 02:00 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by ant n tilde

cry me a river girls, no dishwasher here!

Us either! We are the dishwashers.

SparkyandAng Posted: Apr 23, 2009 02:02 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

Posted by Dee0522

Posted by kristin597

I do most of the household chores. If I ask DH to do something he will, but there is really no intiative to do it on his own. The only thing he does is take out the garbage...but he doesnt put the new garbage bag in the trashcan

Ughhh I hate this!!! My DH NEVER puts a new bag in. And 9 times out of 10, I will throw something in there before I realize there's no bag. Grrrr!

WOW, this is so our situation too. I finally got him to either put a new bag in or I tell him, 'if you can't take the 2 seconds to put the new bag in, at least leave the lid open so it's obvious to me there isn't a bag' it's been working...my DH is highly trainable I'm happy to report but very inconsistent.

RockysGirl Posted: Apr 23, 2009 04:10 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

I think me & DH kind of split it. I take care of the inside of the house (including cooking dinners and making our lunches) and he takes care of the outside, as well as the cars and any other random repairs.

I do think that i do most of the work though (only because my stuff has to be done daily pretty much), but that's absolutely fine since I'm not working right now. Since i'm being the 'housewife' I've always wanted to be (lol) why WOULDN'T I take care of things? But I'll be starting work within the next month or so (God willing) and I'm a little curious if things will stay the way they are now. If I'm working part time, then it's no problem.

I think when couples are BOTH working full time, then the house work should also be split 50/50. In my house, my mother did everything. I mean, she did the inside work as well as outside (mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, etc) as well as working full time (2 jobs in fact). I never thought that was right. maybe when she was home raising the kids. But as soon as she went back to work - it shouldn't have been all on her. How ridiculous.

MnM182008 Posted: Apr 23, 2009 04:25 PM

Re: Stolen from LIF: Does anyone else feel like they do everything?

While DH does help me out on the weekends, I do most of the work. He will vacuum for me, and take out the garbage. The rest falls to me. He works very long hours so I don't mind cleaning while he is out.