Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

we had people who didnt give gifts, and we will be sending them a thank you card because they did come to celebrate with us. A gift is not required of the guests, If they give one thats great, but its not required.

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

So a whole bunch of DH's friends did the same thing. They came to our wedding and brought NOTHING. I really cannot understand people like this at all.

And DH sent all these friends a text message asking 'maybe we lost it somehow'.. and they never responded and just went on as if nothing happened.

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

call me greedy- call me snobby i dont care the right thing to do when going to a wedding is to bring a gift. If you can't afford to give a gift, you should not attend. I'm not saying the guest has to cover their plate but even a little something is better then nothing at all. i can see you sending them a thank you card for coming but really what are you thanking them for? i am sure you thanked them for coming at the wedding.

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

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Posted by KatieG2010

call me greedy- call me snobby i dont care the right thing to do when going to a wedding is to bring a gift. If you can't afford to give a gift, you should not attend. I'm not saying the guest has to cover their plate but even a little something is better then nothing at all. i can see you sending them a thank you card for coming but really what are you thanking them for? i am sure you thanked them for coming at the wedding.

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I couldn't agree more!!!

It's a WEDDING!!!! When you go to a birthday.. You bring a gift.. or buy someone a drink or whatever..a wedding a HUGE event.. how a person can go to one and not bring anything.. I will never understand.

I would feel ashamed of myself!

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

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Posted by IrinaBNY

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Posted by KatieG2010

call me greedy- call me snobby i dont care the right thing to do when going to a wedding is to bring a gift. If you can't afford to give a gift, you should not attend. I'm not saying the guest has to cover their plate but even a little something is better then nothing at all. i can see you sending them a thank you card for coming but really what are you thanking them for? i am sure you thanked them for coming at the wedding.

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I couldn't agree more!!!

It's a WEDDING!!!! When you go to a birthday.. You bring a gift.. or buy someone a drink or whatever..a wedding a HUGE event.. how a person can go to one and not bring anything.. I will never understand.

I would feel ashamed of myself!

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I contacted the people who didn't bring a gift only because they came to me after the fact and told me they were mailing it. I never would have approached them about it because like it was said, a gift is not required. Fine if you want to be a d.o.u.c.h.e but don't lie about it!

ETA: Wow you can't say d.o.u.c.h.e???? What if I'm talking about cleaning my vag?

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

While I consider it very wrong to show up to a wedding empty handed, I'd still send a TY card and thank them for coming, pointedly leaving out thanking them for a gift. At least they got you a card, we didn't even get that from some guests.

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

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Posted by IrinaBNY

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Posted by KatieG2010

call me greedy- call me snobby i dont care the right thing to do when going to a wedding is to bring a gift. If you can't afford to give a gift, you should not attend. I'm not saying the guest has to cover their plate but even a little something is better then nothing at all. i can see you sending them a thank you card for coming but really what are you thanking them for? i am sure you thanked them for coming at the wedding.

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I couldn't agree more!!!

It's a WEDDING!!!! When you go to a birthday.. You bring a gift.. or buy someone a drink or whatever..a wedding a HUGE event.. how a person can go to one and not bring anything.. I will never understand.

I would feel ashamed of myself!

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Ditto!!! We had a guest who is practically a millionaire and has all this money a apartment in city and vacation house out east and we didnt get zilch!!!!! NO CARD OR MONEY... And they sent their RSVP back the week of the wedding

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

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Posted by KatieG2010

call me greedy- call me snobby i dont care the right thing to do when going to a wedding is to bring a gift. If you can't afford to give a gift, you should not attend. I'm not saying the guest has to cover their plate but even a little something is better then nothing at all. i can see you sending them a thank you card for coming but really what are you thanking them for? i am sure you thanked them for coming at the wedding.

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I am sorry, but I have to disagree. If you invite someone knowing they may not be in a financial position to give you a present if they go, but they are still your friend, why would the gift be more important then them being at your wedding to celebrate?

Maybe its how I was raised, you were to bring a gift if you were able to, but if you arent able to, its not an admission fee.

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

You know, if one of the people who came without a gift, told us 'hey, I'm sorry but I can't afford it'.. then it wouldn't be a problem at all. No one cares, and everyone understands. But going to a wedding and not bringing a gift and acting like it's a normal thing to do, in my opinion, is RUDE!

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

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Posted by flibbertigibbet

It isn't 'right' of them to not give you anything.

But it's less right IMO to not say thank you.

Should you give a gift? DUH. Should you try to cover your plate? If you can, absolutely. Would I ever show up with nothing? NEVER.

But... no one is required to give you anything. They're your guest. They aren't being invited to cover the cost of the wedding of whatever magnitude you wanted to have.

Say thank you for coming. It's not worth looking spiteful or starting drama.

JMO

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ITA...

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

I am sorry, but I have to disagree. If you invite someone knowing they may not be in a financial position to give you a present if they go, but they are still your friend, why would the gift be more important then them being at your wedding to celebrate?

Maybe its how I was raised, you were to bring a gift if you were able to, but if you arent able to, its not an admission fee.

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chances are that if someone is your friend/family and they know that there is a party such as a wedding coming up (in advance) they would start saving their money months in advance- $5 a week- so that they can give a gift at their friend's/family's wedding. The gift is not an admission fee- its a little something given to teh bride and froom to start their life together. I was raised that if you arent going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't give people something to talk about

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

I don't think people should have to 'save' to go to my wedding.

If they can't afford to throw aside some money... and especially if my parents said 'you know what... dont worry about it, you're travling anyways.'

-- them being there. that's what should count.

at least they didn't bail on you last minute, KWIM?

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

Let's agree to disagree... i'm a mean one- Mrs. Grinch.

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

sho nuff.

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

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Posted by flibbertigibbet

I don't think people should have to 'save' to go to my wedding.

If they can't afford to throw aside some money... and especially if my parents said 'you know what... dont worry about it, you're travling anyways.'

-- them being there. that's what should count.

at least they didn't bail on you last minute, KWIM?

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I agree. I had people who didnt come to my wedding because they couldnt afford a gift, and to me that was worse than if they had shown up without something, because I wanted THEM to be there to celebrate with DH and I

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

Honestly if I knew someone that couldnt afford to bring a gift but wanted to come to the wedding it wouldnt bother me.. Even though I was raised if you go to a party you bring a gift.. I mean we are not talken thousands here.. I got a fricken 100.00 and a condom for crying out loud as one of my gifts from a couple!!!! LOL

But I know of a couple people that have lots of money and DID NOT BRING ANYTHING NOT EVEN A CARD Thats just unacceptable and rude!!!!!

Re: Thank You Card Related. Am I wrong?

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Posted by eternitybride

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Posted by KatieG2010

call me greedy- call me snobby i dont care the right thing to do when going to a wedding is to bring a gift. If you can't afford to give a gift, you should not attend. I'm not saying the guest has to cover their plate but even a little something is better then nothing at all. i can see you sending them a thank you card for coming but really what are you thanking them for? i am sure you thanked them for coming at the wedding.

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I am sorry, but I have to disagree. If you invite someone knowing they may not be in a financial position to give you a present if they go, but they are still your friend, why would the gift be more important then them being at your wedding to celebrate?

Maybe its how I was raised, you were to bring a gift if you were able to, but if you arent able to, its not an admission fee.

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No one is saying anything about an admission fee. To me it's the right and PROPER thing to do. If it was an extremely close friend, that is one thing. Me, I would say 'sorry, I can't afford to attend' and not go if this was for someone I have no relationship with, like in my case these relatives.