UPDATED - FUUUUUUUUMING!!!!! Calm me down. Hold me back!!!!

So for Christmas, DH bought me a beautiful Rolex watch. Now, I did NOT ask for this gift. I did not need a Rolex. I find it to be silly & too expensive but yes, it is very nice & yes, ok... I am wearing it. Fine, whatever.

So yesterday, I can't find my Concord watch, which is also a VERY nice watch, that was given to me by an ex-boyfriend. I wore it EVERY DAY for 7 years, until I got my new watch. It was gold with diamonds & worth about $3-4K. Beautiful. I was FREAKING out. So I finally ask DH if he has seen it... and he said... are you ready....?.

'Oh, I gave that to the jeweler. You don't need that old thing anymore. Besides, gold isn't 'in' anymore.'

Basically, he traded in my Concord for the Rolex.


Um, you did WHAT???? You SOLD MY WATCH???? Are you out of your f*cking MIND???? Now, I knew he has a little jealousy issue with my ex, but is he INSANE? I stayed calm but the more I think about it, the more p!ssed I get.

Thoughts???


********UPDATE:*********
So last night I was ready to stab DH with a pickle fork
but I stayed calm. I told him that I was really upset that he took something of mine without asking, etc...

He was shocked that I was upset & I think he sincerely felt bad. He swears that he didn't do it for spite, that he really thought I wouldn't need it once I had my new watch.

He said that the watch is still at the jeweler & that the jeweler has it on consignment. He said he'll go get it back today. I compromised & said that we can sell it BUT the money is either going in Ella's college fund or in our new house fund. He agreed.

oh boy. i'm not even TOUCHING this one.


[pets you on the back from a distance]

WOW.

i have no words dude.

i wore a cute heart necklace that an ex gave me all the time. DH had an issue with it, but i really liked the necklace, so i wore it anyways. if he ever sold that necklace to get me another one, i don't know what i'd do. i'd lose it. it's not an issue about who gave it, you just get attached to things after time.

yikes. beat him!

O my..... I'd be FUUUUUUUMING too, caroline, and normally i try to talk everyone off the ledge!!!
But that's totally wrong, he shouldn't have gone behind your back like that, its one thing if he had agreement from you, but this just reeks of jealousy and manipulation. It was YOUR property, and all things being equal, I don't think you would have sold something he owned to buy him something else, right?
Take today to calm down, and try to hash this out in a caaaaalm way, tempers will be HOT on both sides, so easy does it. Or make a 'date' to clear the air this weekend.
I'm sure he meant well but still

WHOAH.

Ummmmmmmmmmmm, I'd be fuming too. NOT because an ex had given me the watch, but because it was a nice watch that you wore everyday (so who's to say it's not 'in' to begin with) and you liked it and he didn't even ask you if he could TRADE IT IN towards your Christmas gift (I'm assuming the Rolex was more than $3-4k so he didn't do an even trade).

YIKES. I would not like that at all. I guess he figured he'd get you a better watch, it'd help with the cost, AND he got to get rid of a watch that reminded HIM of your ex that he had some jealosy issues for anyway.



In the end though, is it worth it to stay angry at him over this? I doubt he can get your watch back at this point. I would just make it REALLY clear that he should never pull something like this again.

omg that is so f*cking rude....yes i would be MAD AS HELL.

he recycled something that was YOURS and used it as credit to then buy something for you....sounds to me like he didn't like the idea of you wearing something for so long that was given by another man....and used the rolex as an excuse to finally get rid of it.

yeah i would be angry as hell--and i'd probably wanna take the rolex back to the jeweler and get my old watch back--just to pisss him off. but i'm a spiteful biitch like that.

I was TWITCHING. My face became all contorted. I was like 'you um, SOLD it? How very resourceful of you. I LIKED that watch. don't you think you should have ASKED me???'

He said BEAMINGLY 'you have a better watch now.' he was literally beaming with pride.

I better go home & lock up every other thing the ex gave me before he sells that too...

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

WHOAH.

Ummmmmmmmmmmm, I'd be fuming too. NOT because an ex had given me the watch, but because it was a nice watch that you wore everyday (so who's to say it's not 'in' to begin with) and you liked it and he didn't even ask you if he could TRADE IT IN towards your Christmas gift (I'm assuming the Rolex was more than $3-4k so he didn't do an even trade).

YIKES. I would not like that at all. I guess he figured he'd get you a better watch, it'd help with the cost, AND he got to get rid of a watch that reminded HIM of your ex that he had some jealosy issues for anyway.



In the end though, is it worth it to stay angry at him over this? I doubt he can get your watch back at this point. I would just make it REALLY clear that he should never pull something like this again.

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Im with Yesi on this one. I think that though what he did was WRONG, you kinda have to see it from his point of view...you're his wife, he doesnt want to be reminded of your exes, etc,. I hate beign reminded of Dh's exes and just replaced his wallet with a simialr one so he'd stop using the one he got from his ex.

It probably would have been smarter to just buy you a new watch like your concord, but with HIS own money. I think what may be bugging you more than the new watch is the fact he took something of YOURS to get you a new gift..essentially you bougth your own new watch. That would bug the crap out of me.

I had a necklace DH hated cause an ex gave it to me so he bought me a similar one; MUCH nicer and now I wear that one everyday.

defiently talk to him about it and explain if he has issues with something, he needs to discuss it forst and you need to have boundaries. YOUR things are yours. If he wnats to put his paws on them, he needs to ask. Back to kindergarten here!

i would kill DH if he did something like that!!
especially an item that might be worth as much as your watch!!

i think we all would be pissed.. you have every right..

Oh yes, I would be soooo P'O'd! I am sorry!!

LOL...It would be different if he said to you, Gee honey, what if YOU trade in your watch for a Rolex and I will pay for the difference. He just took it upon himself to trade it in.....he may have meant well, but....didn't pan out that way.

WHAT???
I can't even believe this. I would be livid. What right did he have to touch your stuff? Not only that, but he took it, traded it for a new watch and passed it off as a gift? Oh, he would definitely have to watch his back if it wre my DH.

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Posted by PeteysBride

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

WHOAH.

Ummmmmmmmmmmm, I'd be fuming too. NOT because an ex had given me the watch, but because it was a nice watch that you wore everyday (so who's to say it's not 'in' to begin with) and you liked it and he didn't even ask you if he could TRADE IT IN towards your Christmas gift (I'm assuming the Rolex was more than $3-4k so he didn't do an even trade).

YIKES. I would not like that at all. I guess he figured he'd get you a better watch, it'd help with the cost, AND he got to get rid of a watch that reminded HIM of your ex that he had some jealosy issues for anyway.



In the end though, is it worth it to stay angry at him over this? I doubt he can get your watch back at this point. I would just make it REALLY clear that he should never pull something like this again.

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Im with Yesi on this one. I think that though what he did was WRONG, you kinda have to see it from his point of view...you're his wife, he doesnt want to be reminded of your exes, etc,. I hate beign reminded of Dh's exes and just replaced his wallet with a simialr one so he'd stop using the one he got from his ex.

It probably would have been smarter to just buy you a new watch like your concord, but with HIS own money. I think what may be bugging you more than the new watch is the fact he took something of YOURS to get you a new gift..essentially you bougth your own new watch. That would bug the crap out of me.

I had a necklace DH hated cause an ex gave it to me so he bought me a similar one; MUCH nicer and now I wear that one everyday.

defiently talk to him about it and explain if he has issues with something, he needs to discuss it forst and you need to have boundaries. YOUR things are yours. If he wnats to put his paws on them, he needs to ask. Back to kindergarten here!

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WOW I would definitely be really mad and apalled that he would go behind my back like that and get rid of something that isn't his.

I do agree with Yesi and Jenn. My DH doesn't like to even think about me with someone else, so I know that if I had some kind of trinket from an ex that I wore all that time or had laying around the house he would want me to get rid of it. And honestly, I would if it made him feel uncomfortable and I can understand why he wouldn't want a constant reminder of my ex around. Some people are just more emotional about things like that than other.

However I don't think your DH should have gone behind your back and traded it in. It's understandable that he would not want you to wear it, but getting rid of something that is yours without your consent is inconsiderate no matter how good his intentions might have been at the time.

Oh man, I'd be piiiiiissssed!!!

That would have turned into a fight. The fact that it came from an ex is besides the point. It was YOUR watch, and he should have discussed it with you and definetly NOT used it as a credit toward a gift for you!

yikes. thats definite an issue. its the principle that he took one of your personal belongings and essentially pawned it without any little mention to you...and then used it to give you a gift. def let him know that you are, in no way, okay with him doing that and that youd never do something like that to his things. if he felt jealous about you having a gift from your ex....now its weirder...your ex bf essentially bought you a rolex! how does dh feel any better about using the ex's money to buy you a gift?


its not that i cant understand the jealousy. i can see how it would bug him that you still have something from an ex but like others have said, you get attached to things you like and it doesnt necessarily mean alot to you bc you still have feelings for the other guy. if he had an issue with you still having that watch from the ex...the problem with what he did is that...it was a very passive aggressive way of making his point!

not to mention that he was comfortable keeping the info from you, until you found it was missing. if you never noticed, would he had never said anything?

if you guys talk it out and it comes out that he was just very upset or jealous, try to be understanding. but..let him know he should have just talked about it with you instead of doing that.

sorry caroline!

There are no words.

I can't believe he did that to you!

I would be so Fin pissed. There are some major issues with this. I really suggest that you have a talk with him tonight about it. I can kind of understand if he was jealous over it, but to go as far as he did is not respectful to you at all. That is your property not his were he can take it and do as he pleases.

Ummmmm..... HELL YEAH I WOULD HAVE SMOKE COMING OUT OF MY EARS!!!!!!

In no way should he have taken something that belonged to you and traded it for something new just so he can say it is from him. For one... every time you look at the Rolex you are going to be reminded of what he did. For two... it was your watch no matter who gave it to you. Would he have done that if your Mom had given you the watch???

I would definitely speak up and let him know how you feel. Not that it is because it was a gift from your ex but because you LOVED the watch and he over stepped the boundaries and took something of yours without your permission.

Asked my DH for a guy's opinion. he did the devils advocate thing but agreed that he should have asked you first unless he had previously asked you not to wear it because he was uncomfortable with it and you said no.

He still agreed it was sneaky though and pointed out even if he got some $$ for it, it was probably only half of what it was worth.

His exact words were: 'She should know better than to flaunt an exe on her arm every day in his face, but he should know now he needs a place to hide. Tell him we have a cat covered couch.'

Feel better Caroline! This is a good time to go to the gym and go for that boxing class!