WHY oh why do the holidays have to be SO difficult? How do YOU do this?
Original post by JimmysBride
Just had a huge argument with DH over this... yet again! We go through this EVERY YEAR!!
Why is it soooo difficult to decide what to do for the holidays? Do you guys have this problem?? With us, it seems that WHATEVER plan or idea I come up with DH has something to complain about. I swear if it was up to him, the holiday would consist of him sitting in front of his computer and being brought food. As long as HE isn't inconvenienced in ANYWAY, then there is no problem. Otherwise it's WW3.
Ok so... the point of this is not to air out our argument it's to get an outside perspective. He insists that most people STAY HOME for the holiday, I say no, not unless you are always the host -- most people (our age at least -- you know, newlyweds) travel (even if it means going around the block to your Mom's house -- heaven forbid!) for the holidays. Sure, every once in awhile you get to host, but for the most part you end up traveling.
Anyone else go through this? How do you and your spouse handle the 'what are we doing for holidays' issue?? If you have a system that works please share b/c if DH and I don't figure SOMETHING out we will be going to through this every year!
He also insists that the holidays are supposed to be RELAXING. I say the holidays are hectic by DEFINITION.
thiadora
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Re: WHY oh why do the holidays have to be SO difficult? How do YOU do this?
This is actually a tough one for us too. Both of our families live on LI, so you think that would made it easier, but it doesn't. For the past few Thanksgivings we've traveled btw both parent's houses. (A 40 minute drive They're not close to each other.) Christmas was at my parents both years because his parents have been going to visit his sister in NC. Xmas has been during the week and I can't take off at that time of the year.
So this year my mom made a big deal about us spending on holiday with one family and the other one with the other.---since we're married now. (Eventhough she has had Xmas for the past 2 years) DH actually LIKED going to both houses. (I didn't- too much food and I never got to relax)
We worked it out for this year- Thanksgiving with my parents, Xmas with his brother's family. But I'm already stressing for next year.
Valentinegirl
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Re: WHY oh why do the holidays have to be SO difficult? How do YOU do this?
My parents live in NJ so we spend the actual holiday w/ DH parents. My parents come down to stay at out place a week after to celebrate. It works out for the most part.
tracyg
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Re: WHY oh why do the holidays have to be SO difficult? How do YOU do this?
My mom lives in PA and my dad is going to PA for Christmas, but I just want to stay home. Is that wrong? Last Christmas I wanted to host it at home but my dad gave me a hard time since everything revolves around my stepmoms family, so I ended up having to go to Jersey. But this year i'm not letting him guilt me into going to PA. For one Christmas I'd like to spend it at home in front of MY tree relaxing. Not travelling and sleeping in someone elses house.
What makes me angry is that last year I only went with my dad because he agreed to come to me this year. But he's not... of course. But luckily there is no conflict with DH's family since they are Jewish (except for my brother in law). So they'll have no problem coming to us for Christmas, if they want.
aimerliny
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Re: WHY oh why do the holidays have to be SO difficult? How do YOU do this?
My family is big on holidays and members take turns hosting.
Luckily for me, his family is so big that they split up into sub-groups and tend to get together for non-holiday events. Plus my MIL lives in New Mexico so there's no conflict there.
Plus hubby loves my family so we tend to spend the time with them and make the rounds to his family on the days surrounding the holidays.
ETA: Holidays are definetly hectic by definition -- NOT RELAXING!
