Your first fight after the wedding

When was it and what was it about??? DH and I had a few fights this week. He was upset because I went to hang out with the girls and he felt like I should have been home since it was the week after our wedding. I guess cause we didnt go straight on a honeymoon and weve lived together for over 4 years that it wouldnt be a big deal! Anyway, now I feel like an awful wife. Am I??

I don't think you are a bad wife, but I do see his point. Even thought you guys didn't leave right away for the actual 'honeymoon' it sounds like he still wanted to 'honeymoon' at home for the first week. I know i would have been mad if my DH went out the week of our wedding.

Just make it up to him some how....Valentine's Day is next week. Maybe you can do something extra specialf or him.

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Posted by Dani731

I don't think you are a bad wife, but I do see his point. Even thought you guys didn't leave right away for the actual 'honeymoon' it sounds like he still wanted to 'honeymoon' at home for the first week. I know i would have been mad if my DH went out the week of our wedding.

Just make it up to him some how....Valentine's Day is next week. Maybe you can do something extra specialf or him.

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I agree with Dani... You're not a bad wife. He's just being a little sensitive which he is allowed. it is your 'HM' period even though you didnt go away. Just apologize, love him up and soothe his ruffled feathers and it will be fine. Sometimes men are bigger mushies than we are. At leats you know he CARES! thats always good.

well, I have had fights with my DH because I think he goes out with 'the boys' too much. So I can play devil's advocate on this one.

#1 - You are not an awful wife.

#2 - Maybe your hubby is in the mood to have a romantic week at home with his new wife? I think its sweet that he's a little of jealous that you had fun without him... (please don't anyone read TOO much into that and flame me)

# 3 - Not sure what you & your GFs did these few nights but as DH's mother told him, 'you can't act single anymore, because you're not.' You can still have fun & go out with your friends but be respectful of him. And try not to leave DH home alone too much or he'll get lonely & possibly resentful

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Posted by PeteysBride

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Posted by Dani731

I don't think you are a bad wife, but I do see his point. Even thought you guys didn't leave right away for the actual 'honeymoon' it sounds like he still wanted to 'honeymoon' at home for the first week. I know i would have been mad if my DH went out the week of our wedding.

Just make it up to him some how....Valentine's Day is next week. Maybe you can do something extra specialf or him.

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I agree with Dani... You're not a bad wife. He's just being a little sensitive which he is allowed. it is your 'HM' period even though you didnt go away. Just apologize, love him up and soothe his ruffled feathers and it will be fine. Sometimes men are bigger mushies than we are. At leats you know he CARES! thats always good.

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I agree with these ladies!! He wanted to spend some time with his wife

We had our first fight the wedding night. DH tried to dutch oven me.

I dont think you are an awful wife. He probably just wanted to spend time with you since your wedding just happened-and in most husbands minds....all the dealing with out planning, deciding, etc. its all over!!!

Our first fight was before the reception began
His parents were late and his mom wouldnt give us 5 minutes to ourselves...so i told him if he didnt get a handle on her we would be divorced before teh ink dried

he did handle her

LMAOOOOOOOO About the dutch oven!!

I totally see all the points. Although the girls and I just went to the mall! But it ended up being a shopping trip til 9pm because 4 girls were shopping. And then I brought up how I wanted to go out for my best friends birthday but I told her I cant make it and she understands. I was being a little selfish, I can admit that. I think it also bothered him that he had to go straight back to work and I only work the weekends so I had the whole week off. Im gonna make it up to him on V-Day and were going to go away soon! He IS a big mush and I love him for that! I feel really bad though. I just didnt realize but now I do so Ill work on making it up to him even though hes not angry with me anymore!

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Posted by PegaLega

I dont think you are an awful wife. He probably just wanted to spend time with you since your wedding just happened-and in most husbands minds....all the dealing with out planning, deciding, etc. its all over!!!

Our first fight was before the reception began
His parents were late and his mom wouldnt give us 5 minutes to ourselves...so i told him if he didnt get a handle on her we would be divorced before teh ink dried

he did handle her

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I think I threatened to have a divorce attorney in the front row a few times if he pissed me off. We probably would have had a fight beforehand if I didnt make him stay at his friends house!! I kicked him out!

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Posted by Songstress

LMAOOOOOOOO About the dutch oven!!

I totally see all the points. Although the girls and I just went to the mall! But it ended up being a shopping trip til 9pm because 4 girls were shopping. And then I brought up how I wanted to go out for my best friends birthday but I told her I cant make it and she understands. I was being a little selfish, I can admit that. I think it also bothered him that he had to go straight back to work and I only work the weekends so I had the whole week off. Im gonna make it up to him on V-Day and were going to go away soon! He IS a big mush and I love him for that! I feel really bad though. I just didnt realize but now I do so Ill work on making it up to him even though hes not angry with me anymore!

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These are the words of a great wife. You learned from what you did, admitted some fault and are working on ways to make up for it. Have a great Valentine's Day!!

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Posted by MeNBobs

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Posted by Songstress

LMAOOOOOOOO About the dutch oven!!

I totally see all the points. Although the girls and I just went to the mall! But it ended up being a shopping trip til 9pm because 4 girls were shopping. And then I brought up how I wanted to go out for my best friends birthday but I told her I cant make it and she understands. I was being a little selfish, I can admit that. I think it also bothered him that he had to go straight back to work and I only work the weekends so I had the whole week off. Im gonna make it up to him on V-Day and were going to go away soon! He IS a big mush and I love him for that! I feel really bad though. I just didnt realize but now I do so Ill work on making it up to him even though hes not angry with me anymore!

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These are the words of a great wife. You learned from what you did, admitted some fault and are working on ways to make up for it. Have a great Valentine's Day!!

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Thank you!! That makes me feel so much better. Do you think a dutch oven would make up for it?

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Posted by Songstress

LMAOOOOOOOO About the dutch oven!!

I totally see all the points. Although the girls and I just went to the mall! But it ended up being a shopping trip til 9pm because 4 girls were shopping. And then I brought up how I wanted to go out for my best friends birthday but I told her I cant make it and she understands. I was being a little selfish, I can admit that. I think it also bothered him that he had to go straight back to work and I only work the weekends so I had the whole week off. Im gonna make it up to him on V-Day and were going to go away soon! He IS a big mush and I love him for that! I feel really bad though. I just didnt realize but now I do so Ill work on making it up to him even though hes not angry with me anymore!

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so glad you worked it out! its so nice seeing you on 'this side'

i just wanted to say that i can totally see where your DH (!) is coming from. . . we had a week long HM and then I stayed home for another week . . . we have been married almost a month and to be 100% honest we have tried to stay home as much as possible. . . seriously we dont leave unless we have to and its absolutely wonderful! a few people have said that we are 'nesting'

i think i would be hurt if DH decided he wanted to go out in these first few weeks, i guess we will get over it soon but right now we are enjoying it! this is your last time as a newlywed - enjoy it!

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Songstress

LMAOOOOOOOO About the dutch oven!!

I totally see all the points. Although the girls and I just went to the mall! But it ended up being a shopping trip til 9pm because 4 girls were shopping. And then I brought up how I wanted to go out for my best friends birthday but I told her I cant make it and she understands. I was being a little selfish, I can admit that. I think it also bothered him that he had to go straight back to work and I only work the weekends so I had the whole week off. Im gonna make it up to him on V-Day and were going to go away soon! He IS a big mush and I love him for that! I feel really bad though. I just didnt realize but now I do so Ill work on making it up to him even though hes not angry with me anymore!

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so glad you worked it out! its so nice seeing you on 'this side'

i just wanted to say that i can totally see where your DH (!) is coming from. . . we had a week long HM and then I stayed home for another week . . . we have been married almost a month and to be 100% honest we have tried to stay home as much as possible. . . seriously we dont leave unless we have to and its absolutely wonderful! a few people have said that we are 'nesting'

i think i would be hurt if DH decided he wanted to go out in these first few weeks, i guess we will get over it soon but right now we are enjoying it! this is your last time as a newlywed - enjoy it!

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Hey Tilde!! Thanks for the advice. I see what you mean. I just feel like it would have been different if we hadnt lived together and we just moved in but because we came straight home and he went straight back to work, I got pulled right back into my old routine too quickly. And its my fault. I was being the GUY lol. But even though we have lived together, I should have treated it differently. i told myself I wouldnt be feeling this GUILTY if I was right lol I know I was wrong this time for sure!

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Posted by Songstress

Hey Tilde!! Thanks for the advice. I see what you mean. I just feel like it would have been different if we hadnt lived together and we just moved in but because we came straight home and he went straight back to work, I got pulled right back into my old routine too quickly. And its my fault. I was being the GUY lol. But even though we have lived together, I should have treated it differently. i told myself I wouldnt be feeling this GUILTY if I was right lol I know I was wrong this time for sure!

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once in a while we can be wrong too, its not often but sometimes it happens

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Songstress

Hey Tilde!! Thanks for the advice. I see what you mean. I just feel like it would have been different if we hadnt lived together and we just moved in but because we came straight home and he went straight back to work, I got pulled right back into my old routine too quickly. And its my fault. I was being the GUY lol. But even though we have lived together, I should have treated it differently. i told myself I wouldnt be feeling this GUILTY if I was right lol I know I was wrong this time for sure!

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once in a while we can be wrong too, its not often but sometimes it happens

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TRUE!!

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Songstress

Hey Tilde!! Thanks for the advice. I see what you mean. I just feel like it would have been different if we hadnt lived together and we just moved in but because we came straight home and he went straight back to work, I got pulled right back into my old routine too quickly. And its my fault. I was being the GUY lol. But even though we have lived together, I should have treated it differently. i told myself I wouldnt be feeling this GUILTY if I was right lol I know I was wrong this time for sure!

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once in a while we can be wrong too, its not often but sometimes it happens

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VERY TRUE!!!

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Posted by Songstress

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Posted by PegaLega

I dont think you are an awful wife. He probably just wanted to spend time with you since your wedding just happened-and in most husbands minds....all the dealing with out planning, deciding, etc. its all over!!!

Our first fight was before the reception began
His parents were late and his mom wouldnt give us 5 minutes to ourselves...so i told him if he didnt get a handle on her we would be divorced before teh ink dried

he did handle her

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I think I threatened to have a divorce attorney in the front row a few times if he pissed me off. We probably would have had a fight beforehand if I didnt make him stay at his friends house!! I kicked him out!

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Its funny b/c so many people before we got married said 'never threaten to divorce him..blah blah blah' but you know what....every person I have spoken to that has been happily married for 40+ years has told me PLEASE we threatened divorce for YEARS after we were married! So I guess it isnt too bad to threaten it

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Posted by Songstress

LMAOOOOOOOO About the dutch oven!!

I totally see all the points. Although the girls and I just went to the mall! But it ended up being a shopping trip til 9pm because 4 girls were shopping. And then I brought up how I wanted to go out for my best friends birthday but I told her I cant make it and she understands. I was being a little selfish, I can admit that. I think it also bothered him that he had to go straight back to work and I only work the weekends so I had the whole week off. Im gonna make it up to him on V-Day and were going to go away soon! He IS a big mush and I love him for that! I feel really bad though. I just didnt realize but now I do so Ill work on making it up to him even though hes not angry with me anymore!

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Did you guys go away at all after the wedding? On a mini-moon? You should have-it was the best advice we were ever given.

But you get to do your mini-moon for V-Day so youll make it up to him then

Youre not awful not at all.. I think were completely innocent in the situation.
I know that when we first got back from the HM, there was definitely more of a 'HM' period for us, especially since I just moved in with him. A friend had a 'girls night' birthday party a few weeks after we got home and I opted to leave a bit earlier than I normally would.. I just felt like it was too soon to come home to him sleeping but it was all soooo new for us.
I think that you feeling so bad proves you were really just innocent and that should make him forgive ya