3 months later, we got a thank you!

so just yesterday i was thinking that we attended this wedding in march...and still no thank you...how could a LIW bride do such a thing??? well, finally it came yesterday...but still...3 months?? ladies, that's just too long. oh, and my name was left off the envelope AGAIN. unbelievable. we live together, we're getting married in 2 weeks and i wrote the check out!!!!! sorry...but that just bugs me.

edited for those complaining:

the thank you was NOT a photo nor did it include one. so, for a non-photo thank you, 3 months is a bit long. she doesn't have that much going on in her life and her job is as boring as mine.

I don't think three months is so long
to send out thank you's. My wedding was almost a month ago, and we still don't even have our proofs. By the time the proofs come, we select a photo for the the thank you's, the photos are printed, and then we write and send out the cards, it very well might be three months or more!
Don't be so hard on her!


As for her leaving off your name - she probably just used whatever was on her guest list - not that thats an excuse!

I think 'etiquette' says you have up until a year after the wedding to send thank yous (which is totally ridiculous)...but I must say I've waited longer than three months. My goal is to get them out asap...it shows people you really put the time/effort and you really appreciated their generosity.

As for your name not being on there...t-a-c-k-y!

Edited: for terrible grammar

I don't think 3 months is long at all! I got mine out around the 5 1/2 month mark. I didn't even get my pictures or the TY cards from my photog. (part of my package) until the middle of January. I also had close to 300 TY's to write, along with a full time job, things coming up with the house, and just every day life. The only person that complained they didn't get a TY right away was someone that didn't even give us a gift!!

But I do agree.... You're name should have been on it!

these are 2 articles i found on the subject...

Be timely. According to etiquette guru Amy Vanderbilt, a thank-you note should be written within two to three weeks of receiving a gift - six to eight weeks at the very most.

How Long Is Too Long to Send Thank You Cards?

Q: Can you advise on the time frame for sending Thank You cards? I was told by a few that proper etiquette is within one year of the date of the wedding.

A: Oh heavens no, absolutely not! You've been terribly ill-advised! If you wait a year to send your thank you notes, you'll be black-listed for being highly inconsiderate and possessing very, very bad manners. Anything longer than 3 months is considered absolutely inexcusable - and, at that, you're pushing the limits. Here's the full run-down on thank you card etiquette:

Thank you cards are to be sent out very promptly. When gifts are recieved prior to the wedding, they should be acknowledged with a thank you card immediately (send it within 2 days). For gifts received on the exact day of the wedding, a little bit of a grace period is allowed, since you may obviously have a large number of cards to write, and this may understandably take a few weeks. The general consensus among etiquette experts is that it should not take longer than three weeks following the wedding for all guests to receive a thank you card.

If you are going on a very long and extended honeymoon, and are leaving immediately after the wedding, it is understandable that you may not have the opportunity to write thank you notes for gifts recevied on the wedding day. Therefore, some etiquette experts feel it is fair to bend the rules a little and allow you up to 6 weeks to send thank yous under these circumstances - if absolutely necessary. Once you start moving past 6 weeks, for any reason, you really do open yourself to criticism for poor manners, increasingly with each passing day -- and rightly so! Thus it is highly recommended that you strive to stay within these guidelines. Under NO circumstances should it ever take longer than 3 months to acknowledge your guests thoughtfulness and consideration with a thank you. Anything past three months, regardless of the reason, is considered entirely inexcusable and is at the height of rudeness, ingratitude, and inconsideration.

Whomever has been advising you that you may take up to one year to send a thank you note is very confused. Perhaps they have misconstrued something they may have heard about gift giving: You see, according to etiquette, guests are never required or obliged to provide a gift for a wedding; it is completely optional. Therefore, if a guest chooses to give a gift, etiquette allows that THEY have up to one full year following the date of the wedding to do so. Remember, they don't have to give one in the first place - this is why the one year time frame is considered allowable for the gift GIVER.

However, when you are the RECIPIENT of a gift, you are absolutely required and obliged to acknowledge that gift immediately. This is a matter of common courtesy and consideration. When someone has been considerate and generous enough to go through the effort of sending you a gift, that kindness must be acknowledged promptly with a note of gratitude and appreciation. Further to that, an unacknowledged gift often leaves the giver wondering if, in fact, you actually received the gift. It happens frequently that gifts become lost or even stolen, so it is a valid concern.

A gift giver should never be made to worry, wonder, or become concerned that their gift has not reached you safely.

So there you have it! Hope this clears up the confusion. You might want to pass the word along to those who have provided you with the misinformation, in order to save them the possible embarrassment of making such a mistake!

I'm sorry but the writer of that aricle doesn't know what she is talking about. Most of us do not send regular ol' thank you cards, we send cards with pictures. My proofs won't even be coming back until 6 weeks after the wedding.
Oh and and we also have full time jobs and LIVES, not all the time in the world to sit down and write thank you cards.

I thought you have up to ONE YEAR to send out thank you's.

I can sort of understand the delay if the thank you was a picture thank you. But either way, not writing your name on it is tacky and rude!

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I'm sorry but the writer of that aricle doesn't know what she is talking about. Most of us do not send regular ol' thank you cards, we send cards with pictures. My proofs won't even be coming back until 6 weeks after the wedding.
Oh and and we also have full time jobs and LIVES, not all the time in the world to sit down and write thank you cards.

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Could you tell that to FH's grandmother??? She gets on your case after a solid week. No kidding...and that week is based off of when she sends the gift from FL!!!!

Someone was slacking on their Thanks you's LOL and neglected to add you to the CARD HOW RUDE!!!! Cheryl I would Mail it Back LOL

I don't think 3 months is a long time AT ALL...in fact I think it's pretty fast. To each his own...the OP obv. finds this rude....if you write a check you'll know they got it if the check has been cashed...geez - give people a break! Think of how many they have to write out and most people like to do a picture!

I just received one about a month ago...not even....for a wedding I was at on Sept. 23rd, 2005! I laughed when I got it thinking that was quite a long time but honestly - I never even realized that I hadn't gotten one from them yet. No big deal to me. People are busy! They'll get to it.

Sorry, I'm a March 06 bride and I just got my thank yous from my photographer. I'll have then out between 4-6 months, which I think is a perfectly ok amount of time.

I always heard of the 1 year dateline although I think this is really pushing it. I think within 6 months is more reasonable.

Because of the professional thank you notes, it would take a while to get them in the first place.

When it comes down to your name not being on the thank you note, there is no excuse. If you can cash someone check, you should know how to thank them by their name.

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Posted by CLMon7906

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I'm sorry but the writer of that aricle doesn't know what she is talking about. Most of us do not send regular ol' thank you cards, we send cards with pictures. My proofs won't even be coming back until 6 weeks after the wedding.
Oh and and we also have full time jobs and LIVES, not all the time in the world to sit down and write thank you cards.

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Could you tell that to FH's grandmother??? She gets on your case after a solid week. No kidding...and that week is based off of when she sends the gift from FL!!!!

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Sure, give me her #!!

Do you think that my FH's older Italian relatives realize the delay would be from waiting for a picture? No, they'd expect a picture later and the thank you right away...oh man...if I told FMIL I was waiting for pictures to send them out, she might just write them out herself! Obviously people vary in their opinion of when and how long, but I think most people anticipate it sooner than later...especially if they have constant contact with the couple as does this particular bride.

Either way...I really found it funny that it took so long...the only thing that upset me is that if you are going to wait that long, you should be sure to include the right names...she's coming to my wedding after all.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

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Posted by CLMon7906

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I'm sorry but the writer of that aricle doesn't know what she is talking about. Most of us do not send regular ol' thank you cards, we send cards with pictures. My proofs won't even be coming back until 6 weeks after the wedding.
Oh and and we also have full time jobs and LIVES, not all the time in the world to sit down and write thank you cards.

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Could you tell that to FH's grandmother??? She gets on your case after a solid week. No kidding...and that week is based off of when she sends the gift from FL!!!!

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Sure, give me her #!!

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1-800-BIG-PITA.

My thank you cards took a long time to go out. I had bad communication with the photographer and we had them made special, i think it was about 5 months after my wedding they got there thank you cards.