I called a Protestant Church near my FH in Bay Shore to inquire about having our ceromony held there. My parents, who were in a situation simuliar to ours were married there and since they are happy for 17 years (second marriage for both), I was hoping to use the same church as them.
My FH is Catholic and I am Protestant so we definatley cannot get married in his church because a non-Catholic cannot get married in a Catholic Church.
Well to try and shorten the story, I called the Church in Bay Shore and spoke with a receptionist and asked if we could meet with them. She gave us an appointment but later called back and said that she spoke with Pastor Johnson and he said he will NOT marry people who are not members of the church. I WAS SHOCKED!
I do not go to church every wekeend and do not want to push my beliefs on others but it is my understanding that a church is supposed to be the House of God. Who is the Pastor to tell people they are NOT welcome to get married in God's HOUSE! He did not even know my fiance was Catholic and all he knew was that I was not a member of their church. I am insulted! I cannot believe this happened.
Has anybody ran into difficulty with finding a church to marry them? I am so mad about this. I cannot even begin to tell you how much!
Thank for reading, sorry it was so long.
mhermanns
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Re: A Church said NO!
St.Pats is one of the most beautiful churches on the island. Its hard to find one that still 'looks like a church'. My church was rebuilt and it looks nothing like a church. FH and I were going to get married in his church but they don't do Fri. weddings, so we are getting married in this church that I have ALWAYS wanted to get married in.....Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary in Southampton. Another old and Beautiful church.
my FH is catholic and im Lutheran...we are getting married in a Catholic Church....as long as one of you are members I dont understand what his problem is!!!! My FH joined the church and they accepted our request for marriage there...we just cant have a mass bc i can not accept communion in a catholic church since im not catholic
my parents signed the paper to raise us catholic and we were raised lutheran...they will never know....
i suggest finding a new church!!! good luck
Did you have to do pre-kena?
Nic and Ant
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Re: A Church said NO!
Posted by mhermanns
St.Pats is one of the most beautiful churches on the island. Its hard to find one that still 'looks like a church'. My church was rebuilt and it looks nothing like a church. FH and I were going to get married in his church but they don't do Fri. weddings, so we are getting married in this church that I have ALWAYS wanted to get married in.....Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary in Southampton. Another old and Beautiful church.
That is a beautiful looking church! Is this catholic?
mhermanns
Posted:
Member since
Re: A Church said NO!
Posted by Nic and Ant
Posted by mhermanns
St.Pats is one of the most beautiful churches on the island. Its hard to find one that still 'looks like a church'. My church was rebuilt and it looks nothing like a church. FH and I were going to get married in his church but they don't do Fri. weddings, so we are getting married in this church that I have ALWAYS wanted to get married in.....Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary in Southampton. Another old and Beautiful church.
That is a beautiful looking church! Is this catholic?
Yes it is....They are really nice there also. I am not sure if they marry outside the parish, but they seem really laid back like they would. It was easy for us because its a town away from FH and they are 'related' or whatever they call it to his church. Let me know if your interested.
donegal419
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Member since
Re: A Church said NO!
Don't worry too much... you will work this out!! I hope this doesn't so too harsh, but churches do have the right to say no to outside people getting married there.
1. they may have a lot of weddings/other events and may have to limit weddings and other events to active members of their church community. to be honest, as an active member of my church, i would be devastated if i couldnt' get married there because someone that is not a member of the church took my date!
2. clergy still has the right to say who can and cannot get married there--- most clergy (esp. priests) view marraige as a sacrament and will only marry a couple if one or both is of the religion of the church.
3. a non-catholic can marry a catholic. it happens all the time and it is not a problem. the catholic in the partnership however will have to make arrangements at his/her church and there is paperwork, etc. involved for the non-catholic.
4. you can still get married at a church... good luck to you!!!! :)
tiffandmatt
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Member since
Re: A Church said NO!
Posted by donegal419
Don't worry too much... you will work this out!! I hope this doesn't so too harsh, but churches do have the right to say no to outside people getting married there.
1. they may have a lot of weddings/other events and may have to limit weddings and other events to active members of their church community. to be honest, as an active member of my church, i would be devastated if i couldnt' get married there because someone that is not a member of the church took my date!
2. clergy still has the right to say who can and cannot get married there--- most clergy (esp. priests) view marraige as a sacrament and will only marry a couple if one or both is of the religion of the church.
3. a non-catholic can marry a catholic. it happens all the time and it is not a problem. the catholic in the partnership however will have to make arrangements at his/her church and there is paperwork, etc. involved for the non-catholic.
4. you can still get married at a church... good luck to you!!!! :)
I have to agree with this post. Especailly with #1 and #2.
Don't worry, you will find a place that will marry you and FH, and it will be beautiful! Good luck.
jeanla4c
Posted:
Member since
Re: A Church said NO!
Posted by Nic and Ant
Posted by charliesbride
my FH is catholic and im Lutheran...we are getting married in a Catholic Church....as long as one of you are members I dont understand what his problem is!!!! My FH joined the church and they accepted our request for marriage there...we just cant have a mass bc i can not accept communion in a catholic church since im not catholic
my parents signed the paper to raise us catholic and we were raised lutheran...they will never know....
i suggest finding a new church!!! good luck
Did you have to do pre-kena?
Yes to get married in a Catholic Church you have to do Pre-Cana....It is a wonderful preparation for marriage.
Most churches won't marry you unless one person is a member.
If one of you is Catholic and you get married in the Catholic church, it is expected you'll raise your children Catholic but I'll stop here since I am just repeating what has been said.
You'll find a place that is right for you and FH!
ETAB
Posted:
Member since
Re: A Church said NO!
I called St. Pat's in Bayshore and they said you have to be a parishoner to get married there and if you are not a parishoner they would not set the date until 6 months before the date...
